How to deal with sulking touchy DH

Mine is sulking right now! I know what it's about, he was watching sport on TV turned up loud as usual with motor racing and the noise of screaming cars. Actually he was asleep watching it! When I'd had enough I took the control box from him and told him the next time he started snoring I would turn the volume down.
He started snoring and I turned it down,a few minutes later he woke and went mad at me then turned the TV off and stormed out. Now he's sulking . Won't put the TV on or speak to me.
He is a lovely man normally, no problems but when I do something he doesn't like the sulking starts.
The only thing to do is to wait it out!

To answer one question you asked: no, none of us have the perfect DH and however little I want to admit it, none of our DHs has the perfect wife.

That said, some faults really can get you down, can't they?

The only thing I would like to add to all the wise words is that discussing what we perceive as faults in our DHs must be done when the problem is not actually in progress.

It is absolutely no good telling anyone that their sulking gets you down when they are sulking. Bring it up when he is out of the sulks, and be completely honest as to how it makes you feel.

DH and I had a very bad habit of grumbling. About? the weather, the government, etc. etc. and about things we could actually do something about. When it got too much for me, I said, jokingly, "From now on we may only grumble on Wednesdays!"

DH took me at my word (or pretended to). After a few weeks we discovered that ´few grievances are worth holding on to from Thursday morning to Wednesday morning and we have stopped all these silly grumbles that only pull you down.

Obviously, if one of us really has cause for complaint we don't have to wait until Wednesday!.

I don't know if something similar could work with sulking, probably not, but the example might be a light-hearted way of starting a talk with the sulker.

I really feel for all you ladies who have sulking husbands.
My husband was never sulky but was no good at diy. He was lovely, loving, kind in every other way but I lost him to cancer last year just two years after he retired. Our new life together has never happened, I miss him beyond belief & wish him back even if he was sulky.

Get rid!!!!
Wish I'd got rid of mine years ago! His got much worse over the years, and now turning into a moaning old woman who sits hours writing a shopping list ( makes out his writing statements) which I don't need as I know what Shopping we need since retiring his got 100% worse and at 66 his like a 100 year old!! Moans and swears at every other driver on the road shouting get the #%}{ over When it's him on there side, upsets my grown children his dumped him years ago.
Even shouts and upsets our old dog for no reason.
Just moved to a lovely new neighbourhood and his now starting trying to change where everyone is parking ..
His put on 7 stone in weight and still smuggles food in to hid!!
Get rid now is my advice!! He will get worse!!!

Grandad1943 - 'Although, on this forum we seem to have some women who are perfect in every aspect of their lives, judging from their posts.'

No, no, you've got that just a tiny bit wrong. Like Mary Poppins said, it's Practically perfect in every way!

1mm6 - remember, when a man says he'll do something, he'll do it. He doesn't need reminding every six months...
so I'm told

There are some great suggestions here. I am amazed at how many "sulkers" there are out there. Thing is, I'm not one so it's difficult to understand. DH will say he is "hurting" - seems daft to me. But, as someone said, who among us is perfect? I know I'm far from it. Can't actually face leaving - certainly not at the moment as there is a lot of family stuff going on - though sometimes a life on my own does seem very tempting. Think I may have made it sound worse than it is but I absolutely hate a bad atmosphere. Going on holiday shortly so I am going to broach the subject and hopefully get somewhere with it. Ignoring it seems to work. The main thing though is that this kind of behaviour does "kill" love doesn't it. And it never comes back quite the same because you're always waiting for the next time.

My step father was a bit of a sulker, he would not speak and mum used to run round in circles after him trying to put right what ever the wrong was .One day she had had enough of the silent treatment. She started opening cupboard doors, drawers and lifting cushions on the sofa and armchairs. He could not contain himself and asked what are you looking for? she replied oh thanks you've found it, your voice!!!!

Have you tried just having a good shout at him? My dear one will let himself get into misery mode and just twice in our 50 years together I have completely lost it! Brought him up short and I felt so much better for really letting go. No one has the right to make you miserable and shouting about it made my dear one realise my side of things.

Sulking is a type of bullying and bullies thrive on it working but quickly stop if it has no effect.

You could try laughing and teasing him that he is behaving like a spoiled child. Just give his fish fingers or other child's food until he snaps out of it. Make it into a joke.

Alternatively or if that doesn’t work, every time it happens treat yourself to some luxury and flaunt it (assuming you have joint accounts). Tell him it is compensation for living with a grumpy old man!

Phoebe's, Quote [why do men have these juvenile sulking sessions?] End Quote.

Well, that can be stated in regard to Women also.

Although, on this forum we seem to have some women who are perfect in every aspect of their lives, judging from their posts.

This is 'passive aggression' Imm6. Google it - it makes fascinating reading. The best response is as other posters have suggested - ignore him, whilst remaining as normal as you can and not huffy yourself. I work with children with challenging behaviour, and when you first put a new strategy in place the behaviour tends to worsen first (it has always worked before, why not now? Let's step it up) before it improves. It is the same with adults who are using childish means to demonstrate their displeasure with a situation. Sulking is childish.

Imm6 Oh how I empathise with you. It’s not so much the sulking but the treading on eggshells here.I suppose if I didn’t tread so carefully there would be more sulks, as disagreeing causes problems. It’s my own fault though- should have left years ago.

Lol OP, of course our DHs have faults, and so do we all. If I wanted Mr Perfect I'd have to be Mrs Perfect and I think that would really be too much struggle!

My husbands father was a sulker, he would talk to his wife through the children. My husband showed no signs of this behaviour until we were actually married. At the first sulk, I told him that I would not tolerate that behaviour, you have a problem, then talk to me and it worked, he has never sulked since. Don’t put up with that behaviour, work out a system that will work for the two of you even if you have to sit him down and talk at him. You need to express your disgust at his childish and controlling behaviour.

My ex DH was a sulker, which I ignored until I divorced him (other issues), but our daughter started to follow the same path. I resorted to taking a photo of the sulky face every now and then and showed her the results, she didn't like what she saw!!! So much easier now with cameras on our phones.

Life is too short and we are only here once, so why do you have to put up with this misery. Try and sit him down and have a chat and point out that you are not prepared to tolerate this situation any longer. I put up with a sulking wife beater for 20 years and I walked out of the door with all of my stuff and started again. If I can do it then so can you. Take care and feel free to pm me at any time.

I had a boyfriend many years ago who was a terrible sulker. Being young and without much confidence I would beg him to tell me what I’d done wrong, and he would say if you don’t know I’m not going to tell you. I soon got wise and dumped him and I still remember the feeling of relief that I didn’t have to cope with it any more.

I’m not necessarily saying you should leave him, but if talking to him about it doesn’t work, I would go and stay elsewhere for a few days until he is ready to talk about it. Don’t waste your life living like this. Just do it!

My Mum once hit my Dad because he wouldn't stop sulking. It worked!

He once left her in the London flat and drove down to their south coast house (sorry, they sound rich but weren't) without a word of farewell or explanation. Mum was frantic. If he wanted time on his own he had only to say!

It should not be forgotten that problems can be brought into a home environment via external matters.

If this is a recent thing and he is still working, then it can be problems with that employment that is causing him stress and hence the change in behaviour. Likewise, and has been already stated, retirement can cause many in both sexes to feel a sense of loss or a feeling of no longer being needed.

It should also be remembered that personal relationships are a two-way thing, and on this forum, we only ever hear one side of any personal matter.

In that, many of the responses in this thread contain suggestions that would escalate the situation, when surely all should be looking at how the matter can be resolved amicably so as these two people can continue to live together in each others company.

My husband is wonderful, most of the time but he does have major sulks from time to time which drive me crazy. He can't stand criticism and is always right! It's always because I've done something he doesn't like, but, more often than not, I don't know what I'm supposed to have done! Sometimes these sulks can last a week! I just ignore it and carry on as normal,but I do feel like blowing up sometimes! Once, I got so fed-up with monosyllabic answers that I did blow up and went out in the car without telling him where I was going. I only went to the local garden centre complex, but I stayed there quite a long time and he was so worried he rang me and I came back without telling him where I'd been. It did seem to do the trick and he stopped sulking - until the next time! why do men have these juvenile sulking sessions?

Yes, if you want a job done and he won't start it, well start doing it your self believe me it works. /When my OH goes into a a sulk or gets angry I just hold up my hand and say OK get on with it and walk away. I might then well go out and do my own thing and not even bother doing food for him. I try him as though he isn't there. It does work and good luck..

I ended a relationship of over 6 years partly because he was an olympic sulker! I soon found the worst things to say when he was in one of his sulks were "what's wrong" or "have I said something to upset you?" I think sulking is a form of control. They only do it to get a response and having to walk on eggshells around them is a form of response which affirms their behaviour and so the cycle continues.
The best way to deal with it is to get out of the house for at least a couple of hours (longer if possible) and leave him without an audience. Don't tell him you are going, just get in the car (or on the bus, or walk etc.) and go. If he asks where you were on your return, be honest and tell him you just had to get away from him and his sulking and that is what you will be doing in future every time he reverts to the behaviour of a 2 year old.
Nobody should have to walk on eggshells in a relationship!

I should add that I divorced him.

I am afraid you have o carry out your threat to leave. Tell him.. "You are not alone and you are bringing me down. If you are nor prepared to do something about it I am leaving". Arrange with a friend for to stay with her for 3 days and carry out your threat. This will force him to talk or change. You get one life and you should not put up with being ignored.