So we are deep into the “prom” season. Across the land, children have been planning their school prom with military precision. Hundreds of pounds are spent on prom outfits, hair extensions, make-up, tanning sessions, nail decorations, shoes, bags, limousines, after prom parties (???) etc, etc, etc.
And across the land, hundreds of children are being excluded from proms for misdemeanour's and misinterpretation of uniform rules uniform.
Local news papers are full of parents bemoaning the cash spent on the prom that has been wasted as their child has been excluded.
A friend of mine has a granddaughter whose parents spent many hundreds on two, yes two prom dresses as the first fell out of favour.
Somewhere along the line, I must have missed the memo. When did we sign up to this extravaganza. When did the end of term school disco become such a huge, costly deal? Or am I being a miserable old git?
i would offer to organise a pizza night or a picnicor bbq for your d or s prom night.tell your children you cant afford it .if they want to spend out .let them use their savings. or you could get a 2nd hand dresss from a charity shop. would cost less than the real deal. me. glad my child never had this. waste of money just to show off.
Marketing. Of the children, especially the girls.
My eldest Granddaughter had her prom a few weeks ago (we dont live in the UK) such a ridiculous amount of money was spent on two dreses, one for the ball and one on her Graduation day, then a huge open air Party for sixty of us in their garden, this of course meant her opening sixty present! I find this all OTT and feel so sorry for the children who,s parents cant afford these things how do those children feel, its an extravaganza from the US,and as usual we have to follow whatever the US does!
I can’t imagine the agony of hoping someone would invite me!
Different times, I guess that we would be up to our eyes if prom glitter if we were sweet 16!
No you're not a miserable old git. It's an appalling waste of money. I pity the single parents & the ones on low incomes
DS's school had dinner and dance for leavers and their parents. This was in 1989.
It was very enjoyable. After the dinner the leavers and their partners dominated the dance floor, but it was a private school and they had very pleasant grounds and sitting areas, it was a very hot night. We met up with the parents of DS's best friend. Both our respective DH's had returned from (separate) trips abroad that day and were exhausted. We sat on a bench in the cool under a tree with the men each end and the wives in the middle. The men were soon asleep and the other wife and I talked to each other for several hours. By the end of the eveningwe were firm friends and remained so until her untimely death.
My four Sons went to a boys school so it didn't arise ( thank goodness! )
In a country where there is real poverty these excesses are horrible.
Haven't read all the posts but one head said that some girls were on strict diets while doing their GCSEs, ready for the Prom.
Oh, skate, I would have been just the same as you! Thank goodness we didn't have Proms back then.
In 2000 it was my youngest daughters' prom and they merely had nice dresses (long ir short ti chouce) and it was more ir a dusci with nibbles out on my the teachers. Again the merest behaviour demeanout in the weeks before and you were not allowed to go. In 2010 it was the prom year for one of my DGDs. My DD really went over the top what with professional tan, make up, nails etc and a vey exoensive dress. I am sure she was living the whole experiences herself. The prom was held at a hotel and they even booked rooms for the girls to stay in the hotel. This year it is the turn of another DGD and as her DM is a one parent family and just cannot afford it. I offered to pay for it all which has been accepted. It has been a nightmare and less than 3 weeks to go she still hasnt got a dress. The ticket for the prom is £30 per person. I just want her to have a lovely time without any stress as she has had an awful year but I cant do much being abroad and unable to travel at the moment. Oh for the prom of 2000.
I'll join you in the miserable gits club!
My dd who is in her 40s didn't have a prom or a leavers disco,or if there was one she didn't go,but to this day has stayed in touch and sees a number of her old school friends,many who live abroad or 100s of miles away.
I didn't have anything like that,we just all left on the last day, glad to see the back of the place!
We went through the whole prom nightmare. The expense of the dress, matching shoes, bag not to mention the hair, nails and tge transport put so much pressure on my husband and I it was almost on par of arranging a wedding. That was 9 years ago so I can imagine it's only got worse. Why oh why do we insist on copying all things American.
It's all got completely out of hand, same as presents to teachers!
My daughter had a prom at the end of year 11. The same year she was bridesmaid for her uncle and as the only one was able to choose her own dress. We managed to buy a beautiful outfit in Debenhams sale which was worn for both occasions. When it came to 6th form prom she had a new dress as she won a prize for the most talented music student at her school. She had to give a recital in return for the £100 prize. Most of the prize money went on paying for the accompanist, including rehearsals, so my mum payed for the dress which was also worn for her prom - a bargain from a 'Coast' outlet shop. As a single mum I couldn't have afforded a really expensive dress for either occasion.
When I left 6th form back in the 70s we all went out for a meal with a few of our teachers. Instead of a new dress I bought a full length nightdress from M&S which was in a pretty fabric. Imagine my embarrassment when another of my frugal friends turned up in an identical nightdress! I did go on to wear it as a nightdress for many years!
Truly dreadful for those whose parents are unable to afford all the rigmarole. I for one would have felt the need to invent some excuse as no way would my family have been able to afford dress, shoes, hairdresser, nail salon etc etc
A young Prom person I know got her special dress from a charity shop for under £10! She looked beautiful in it
We certainly did have a Prom when I was at school. We had a BBQ on the beach! It was great fun - no fancy clothes to worry about just a towel and a cozzie and a top for warmth later
My eldest daughter organised their own prom with her friend because the school refused to do it 15 years ago. I think her cocktail style dress cost £25 from H&M, the shoes were more than the dress. She did her own hair and make up, but did have a professional manicure. A few wealthier families spent quite a bit more on their daughter’s dresses, but in those days nobody really cared who’s dress was better than who’s. My husband drove her in his Citroen Picasso along with a few friends, there was no budget for a Porsche, a limo or helicopter. I think it has all gotten out of hand and dress shops apparently have even got lists now so that nobody accidentally turns up in exactly the same frock? as for primary schools and nursery schools holding proms- it’s a bit ridiculous. I watched a woman in Shropshire I think on the news not so long ago, set up a charity offering free prom dresses to young girls who’s families could not stretch to buying a dress. I think parents in this day and age are under a huge amount of financial pressure to please their teenagers at the end of their last term. Many people are correct when they state this is an American import, along with Halloween and Black Friday sales.
Oh dear, the whole thing sounds like a total nightmare. I was a plump very self conscious teenager back in the day, with parents with no money to spare. The very idea that I would have had to parade myself amongst the prettier, slimmer, richer, more confident girls fills me with absolute horror. Thank goodness nobody had ever heard of Proms then. I feel very sorry for today's youngsters if that's what they have to put themselves through. Ghastly American nonsense which should be banned in all right thinking British schools!
When DH was a secondary head, his school PTA organised an affordable prom. They made a buffet in the school hall and prizes were given for the most novel form of transport used to arrive. I remember a motorised lawn mower and an ambulance being among the winners. It was fun and not financially crippling.
I personally think the whole Prom thing is out if hand. Its very stressful for young people who know their families can't afford it or young people in care.
I also absolutely hate graduations for nursery and primary but thats an all new grouch
SunnySusie
I can only imagine how horrible that experience must have been for your daughter, and sadly I doubt she’s the only one.
I think it’s only the “Cool Girls “ who really enjoy Prom night
Its the parents I blame, after all they are the ones spending the money. My son has 4 daughters with about 18 months between each one. I offered to buy the dress for each and every one. I set an amount and anything saved on it they could have. Three of them bought dresses from a charity shop and wore them with pride and made a quite a bit of money as well.
My daughter left sixth form in 2003 when the Prom was well established. She was very plump at the time, due to a long standing foot injury. We spent literally months going to every shop in the east of England and then London to find a suitable dress. She spent two hours at the Prom before I got a phone call to fetch her home. Everyone was making fun of her because she didnt have a perfect figure and the dress was loose fitting, whilst every other girl was wearing skin tight. She couldnt wear high heels either because of her foot. She recalls the event as one of the worst of her entire adolescence and still has nightmares. She said it was a memorable life lesson that girls still have to look perfect to cut it in social situations, which of course she has studiously avoided ever since. Really do our young people need this kind of thing at a vunerable stage of their lives?
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