Doing a Boris

Calm down dear
Bicarb solution or just soda water out of a bottle works wonders on spilled body fluids.
I’m still trying to picture how the sweat got onto the carpet though. Did it run off him or spurt out in droplets?

I haven't got a clue ja. I didn't stand and watch.

What's that for Ww? Wouldn't you have yelled?

No! That’s not my style.

I’ve got The Guardian on speed dial Gonegirl .... your poor son.
??

Look! I'm not so cruel! I put a lovely roast chicken dinner in front of him regardless.

Not good nuff gone girl we need pics of you in an over grown garden having makeup drinks.....ha ha!

Oh, too late. Had DH cut the grass this morning.

#notdrinkingwith'im

It's a bit hot to be cooking a roast dinner, well done you.

It's a pity your DH cut the grass, we could have had the paparazzi hiding in the undergrowth, photos in the Guardian tomorrow.

Blimey! That's some sweat he worked up.

Did he slither off the seat?

ps I am being very careful now, in case the neighbours report me to the police or send a recording to the Guardian. When DH tramped all over my freshly vacuumed floor this morning, dropping leaves and grass through the hall, kitchen and utility, I just shouted at him very quietly indeed.

I intend to give the seat a good wipe merlot.