Does anyone else still feel a bit lost without their Mum?

Never had a good or close relationship with my mother, so no, I don't miss her. In fact it was a great relief when she died as I didn't have to feel obliged and guilty any more. Wish it could have been different. I got on much better with my DMIL, who was lovely.

My mum died 7 years ago last month aged 92 but she had been lost to me for a good 3 years before that with dementia when she had to go into care. Dad had died 2 years previously with the same but I'd cared for him at home for most of the last 2 years of his life. They would have been married 71 years last week and as I posted some photos for family on FB I commented how they were always together (for 63 years) and always laughing.

I miss her ringing me up every morning for no particular reason, seeing the pair of them walking round to our house (they only lived round the corner) for a cup of tea and taking her shopping every week. In the earlier days we would go to the larger town just for a browse and lunch out but that changed to just going to do the weekly supermarket shop which eventually we both took the pair of them in their wheelchairs.

srn63 I could have written your post, except my mum died 3 weeks before her first grandchild was born. I felt lost with no one to turn to for advice and I felt sad that she didn't see her grandchild or know the gender ..... I used to say just one phone call would suffice to tell her all about the new baby. My MiL in no way filled the gap, in fact we couldn't believe how uncaring she was showing so little interest in HER grandchild. I hate to say it but for years I wished she had died first as she is still alive now 35 years on. My mum would have done more for us in 35 days than MiL in all that time. So yes, I still feel a bit lost.

I'm with Septimia here but mum died in 1986, dad years before.
It's just picking up the phone and giving running commentaries about the family and having a good laugh as we did are things that I still miss after all this time. I know mum would have really enjoyed hearing all the news and sharing her excitement and interest. Mum was never the same after dad died as her health went downhill and she died at 67------after years of comfort eating !

Both were good parents and brother and myself had an idyllic childhood in the '40's with by far less than children have now, but evidently happier.

I'm 60, and my mum died in 1995, aged 72, when I was 36. I don't feel lost, but I miss her so much and still cry when I think about that.

My mother died 33 years ago when my first child was 3 weeks old, I think of her every day with love and gratefulness for giving me a lovely childhood, as I do my father who died a few years later. I feel sad that she had no time with her grandchild, but she did see him and she died peacefully in her sleep. I feel sorry for myself that I had no one to turn to for help and advice with my first child though, my mother in law wasn't interested, but we muddled through and she would have been so proud of him if she could see him today. I do hope that she can in some way.

My lovely mum lives on in me. Never will forget everything she did for me, unselfish and beautiful inside and out.

Died - almost exactly 4 years ago now.

You're loved on here harrigran
That's not the same, I know, but we care how you feel.
I'm sorry that it wasn't the best of times for you.

My mother did at 97, having had Alzheimer's for at least 15 years, so I 'lost' her long before she actually died. She hadn't known me for several years.
I certainly don't miss seeing the pitiful wreck she'd turned into, especially knowing how she herself would have hated it, had she been aware, and the former person is so much in the past now, I got used to the loss long ago.

I suppose I did generalise Harrigran. Not everyone feels the same. And don't get me wrong - my childhood wasn't the best. My dad kept us very short of money. We were extremely poor. I just loved my mum.

Not at all, I mostly took care of myself. There was nothing she did for me that I could not do myself more efficiently. I do not have any real happy childhood memories but my sisters apparently had an idyllic childhood, one six years older and the other ten years younger, guess I was the pig in the middle.

Yes Kadinsky no matter what age your mum was, it's a big gap in your life.
My mum died in August 2012. I was so close to her and visited her at least on Sunday and often in the evenings I would just lift the car keys and tell my partner I'm off to see mum. (15min drive) My dad was at the pub almost every night of my life. I didn't really know him. I had six siblings but I was the "clingy" one. Sadly when she had dementia she was very difficult and nasty to me a lot and having M.E. I found it hard to cope and wasn't always patient. I will regret this forever. I miss her so very much. She always had a lovely smile and was always pleased to see me. She was great at telling stories - more than once! And had a great sense of humour. She made everything all right. I dream about her a lot. I don't think you ever get over losing your mum. You just learn to live with it.
I have a notebook where I write down my memories of childhood. It's nice to reread at times.

Despite our longing for those lost, what is heartening is that we were loved and that we loved them. We are lucky to have had that.

I still miss my Mum 19 years on - she died in 2000, the year everyone was celebrating the start of the new century She had just had her 65th birthday.

Her sister, my aunt, is now 82 and in the early days I used to talk to her in the same way I'd talk to my Mum but soon stopped, she just isn't as kind and caring as my Mum was. I'm not even sure she likes me that much!

Gabriella thank you.

My Mum died 7 years ago aged 97 just 4 weeks before my first grandchild was born.

She lived with me for the last 4 years of her life and I miss her every day. So many times I want to tell her of something that I know she'd find amusing or interesting

I will miss my Dad all the days of my life, but I'm content that he knew just how much he was loved as I wrote him a letter (read 3 days before he died) that told him what he meant to me.
He's a legend in our family and we still talk about him all the time. He's always mentioned in family speeches at weddings etc. I've never known anyone so loved.
Mum? A long (and very different) story...

Yes I really miss my mother, she died 11 years ago this month, I can't believe I've been without her that long. I'd just come back from Canada and the day I was due to see her felt really tired but I know she wanted to see me, so glad I didn't cancel we had a lovely day together lunch out, lots of talking. The next day she died. I remember feeling the need to tell her a few weeks earlier that I was lucky to have a wonderful mum and how much I loved her.

I always was felt she was much nicer than me, my good side fights to get out, but can get suppressed at times by my father's genes, not that awful, but certainly an irascible person and nothing like as good hearted as my dear mum.

My mother was 96 when she died. I don't miss her physical presence as in the end I was worn to a frazzle coping with her care needs but I have wonderful memories of her humour, wit and hilarious put downs.

I always felt she was more needy than supportive but she held the whole family in the palm of her hand so I always had back-up on the mother front.

I do think of her more these days because I'm hoping she and DD are perched on a cloud somewhere, knocking back pink gin (or Harry Pinkers as she always called it) putting the world to rights.

My Mum died 12 years ago today. She had had a stroke and was in hospital miles away from where we lived. I was having chemotherapy at the time and couldn’t be with her. It still breaks my heart that she was alone when she died and didn’t know that I recovered from the Hodgkin lymphoma I was being treated for. It is also my Grandsons 20th birthday today, he was 8 when she died so always a day of mixed emotions. I miss her every day but especially today.

I miss my mum every day and, although she wasn't a touchy-feely mum, we had a glorious childhood until dad died aged 45. Mum's life ended on that day. The light dimmed and spluttered and finally she went to be with the love of her life aged 76, after 4 rigorous ops for bowel cancer.
I feel I didn't say all the things adult mums and daughters share. It was hard to make her smile but I was 17 and had no words of comfort to offer.
She withdrew from us at the end and her wishes for none of us to be told of her death until after cremation, were carried out by the convalescent home.
I do tell her that she is missed and I miss dad too. The ping of the metal segs on the heels of his shoes and kissing his cold cheeks on winter evenings, when we went to the corner to meet him from work and carry his paper and briefcase.
Both greatly missed.

Grannyknot
That last paragraph is so poignant.
Maybe it was her way of still being with you but I found it incredibly sad, like a child who thinks she sees an angel and it makes her smile.
I'm glad it made you happy.

Like many girls, I was closer to my dad but he died before my mum, so I had several years of a relationship with her that was closer than it had previously been. She died in 1996 and I still sometimes think that I must tell her about something that's happened, or about something that I've seen, because I know she'd share my thoughts about it.

I do envy those of you who had a good relationship with your mums.