AIBU

This is rather sad all round. If she is your friend then please talk to her. She may have some horrid financial problems. I do agree that once something is given away it totally belongs to the new owner lock, stock and barrel. Hard to bear sometimes but such is life methinks.

I think the friend sounds very cheeky, but I think a handbag is quite a personal item, and it seems a bit weird to me to give it away

I can’t see it’s worth all the bother of trying to get it back unless you’ve got time on your hands

Please let us know the outcome, if possible

Mistake number one - you gave in and gave it to her. Mistake number two would be NOT confronting her. What she has done is appalling and she is not not someone I would want as a friend as I would never be able to trust her again. There are people who just have to have what other people have, not because they want it, but because they haven't got it.

Yes, really keen to know the outcome!
But I do think it might not be your bag for sale.......

I would ask her outright, tell her you saw it on ebay and noticed the town too. Say if it was her and if she doesn't want it anymore you'd be glad to have it back as you really liked it. I also think it very strange not only to give away your handbag but for a 'friend' to accept the gift.

If she was good to you when your DH was in hospital I wouldn’t blow this friendship over a cheap second hand bag that you paid a pittance for in the first place.

Update went on to ebay to get the item number to send to the lady who offered to mssg about the bag
I had it on my watched items and it wasn't there but it was on the finished items, with a price of 00.00
Not sure if that means she withdrew it or as my DD has just said it was sold as a best offer , i love a browse on ebay but don't normally buy , much, so not sure how it works really
She phones every friday for a chat , so although I'm dreading it i will ask if it was her, and then depending on the answer take it from there ,after years of thoughtless comments from her , i do think regardless that i will be ending the friendship life's too short

And thanks for all your comments and suggestions

Jeanlizzie
I am so sorry you have had this shocking revelation about your friend's dishonesty, for that is what it is. She is clearly a person who sees a price on everything but the value of nothing. She has used you. She should have said that she thought your bag was worth some money and even offered to put it eBay for you. This assumes it is she who is selling the bag - which sounds quite likely. I would be reluctant to buy it unless you can get it for a low amount. You could mark it as "watching" and see what it goes for or if it sells at all.

The saddest part of getting old, for me, is discovering that people are not what I thought they were. I used to put my trust in many people, but now I have become very wary. People who admire my things because they think they would sell for a fair sum are not my type of people. The things I have saved are in my house because I like them for themselves. Money-grasping people upset me.

I hope you have some much more trustworthy friends. Good luck and I agree it's a good idea to let her go.

Jeanlizzie. Why don't you contact the Seller of the bag through eBay and ask if it still available? Your eBay name should be anonymous. It sounds as if it did not sell. If you wanted you could make an offer, if the "Seller" is open to that. Make sure it's not the starting price she put on it but lower.
Good luck!

The same thing happened to me 11 years ago, I gave a friend a beautiful Chanel bag, as she loved it, then a year later, she sold it. Over the next few years she did a few other dubious things so eventually I had to cut her out of my life. No regrets.

Some people are just avaricious, and it’s sad that you gave your friend your bag. I have stopped ‘FreeCycling’ because I kept seeing the things I was giving away appearing on eBay. I now load up my car and take items straight to charity shops.

Good suggestion Sharon103. It would be good to know the outcome of this saga.

The really underhand issue is that she took your bag from you in the first place. If I admire another person's belongings I would be mortified if they actually offered it, especially something as personal as a bag. This does not really sound like the actions of a friend and I think that you are right to decide to confront her and then leave it there. Regarding the eBay issue, I would think that the seller has almost certainly sold it to someone who made an offer.

Apologies if this has been said already
I would email her to tell her that you have seen a bag on EBay that looks similar to the one you gave to her.
I would say that you actually regretted giving it away and wouldn’t have mentioned it now except that next time you meet up she would wonder why (if yours is the successful bid ) ,you are both carrying the same type of handbag.
I don’t know much about EBay but maybe she will withdraw it from sale and then later she will contact you to ask if you were successful and when you tell her it was withdrawn she can offer you your bag back.

I’d be quite straight with her , ask and if it is your bag, ask for it back. I think she is absolutely out of order if your suspicions are correct.

It would be good to know if it is her for sure doing this - if only so you know more about her and whether you actually want her as a friend. Its one thing to admire something a friend has but it's rather cheeky to keep dropping hints with a view to you giving her the bag - and then to actually sell the bag for money. That is no friend (if that is what she has done).

The original post says it's been around three months since it was given - so perhaps shes been using it for all that time and has now tired of it?? Some people do change stuff frequently.
Shes still a CF though!!

If it didn't cost much, is it worth falling out over? If you miss the bag, just ring her and ask for it back. Is she short of money?

May I ask how much the bag is being sold for?
I would be hopping mad and would do my utmost to discover if it was indeed her who was selling it. If unsure I would at least let her know that I was aware a bag was being sold (even if I couldn't prove it was her).

You can have a laugh at it if you know its her deffinately but your not sure so dont jump to any conclusions.agree and ask if theres any dustinguishing marks or dents on it
Shame to lose a friendship over it tho.

Not the same but I've got a friend who copies me. She asks where I bought something and then gets the same thing. I put it down to the fact she has no imagination but it is annoying. People can irritate us but if you value the friendship I'd let it drop till some time in the future when you can ask Do you ever use the bag I gave you? See what her reaction is.

Can you please update us Friday jeanlizzie?

It would be very ironic if she withdrew it from sale as she is on gransnet and read this thread, lol.

Will update in the morning after i have spoken to her
To the lady who asked how much she was selling for it was £60 perhaps not a lot to some , but to me it is , it was a bag from a firm called Vera Bradley from USA , ive now been doing a bit of research about it , i think she is an American cath kidston type , but i bought it at a church fair for a few pounds , and had no idea about this at the time