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Labelling children.

(157 Posts)
Bopeep14 Tue 30-Jul-19 18:14:51

Hi all just would like a bit of input from you all.
I was in a supermarket today and saw a little boy walking with his mum who had a lanyard round his neck saying he was autistic. To me he looked like a normal little boy.
Is this a normal thing to do nowadays label children.
I really can not get my head around it.
I don't think i would like my autistic grandchild to walk around with a label on, is it just me.

BlueBelle Tue 30-Jul-19 19:46:51

No I don’t like it and yes it seems like the days of yore when people had to be labelled Surely a bracelet or something less overt could be used I d hate a child or grandchild of mine to be so labelled
Of course we don’t know the reasons for this particular mother but I read the post as a general question not a judgement of this one mum
How old was the child, a toddler?
Could the child be taken more advantage of if he was parted from his mum and seen as vulnerable

notanan2 Tue 30-Jul-19 19:48:48

You cant medicate the autism out of a person! The world isnt built to well accomodate them but that does not mean they deserve to be medicated into submission! You can use mefications in some cases to manage some associated issues, but you cant de-autism someone, and coping strategies can be in place but fail

Thought those days and attitudes were gone

MissAdventure Tue 30-Jul-19 19:50:48

It reminds me of something I read a while back about letting your workplace know that you're having a period, because its not a shameful thing.
I can't remember how you were to let your colleagues know.
Maybe hang a red flag above your desk.

notanan2 Tue 30-Jul-19 19:52:01

Bluebelle if people dont stop to consider why a child might be acting differently to others, they are not going to take the time to check for a bracelet.

Nor would most parents want the type of people who would be nasty to a child getting close enough to the child to read their bracelet before judging whether or not they were worth being nice to or not!

Im not championing big labels but think a bracelet would be pointless unless its for paramedics etc not the general public

lemongrove Tue 30-Jul-19 19:53:10

grin
Wear tight white jeans perhaps MissA ( like in the adverts.)

MissAdventure Tue 30-Jul-19 19:58:17

grin lemon

BlueBelle Tue 30-Jul-19 20:02:21

I was thinking about Jamie Bulger when I made the remark could he be more vulnerable if parted from the mum

I understand what you are saying about people seeing if he has a melt down etc but many kids two, three and more year olds have melt downs and I still don’t feel really comfortable with labels like that but each person would have to make there own decision
I can just imagine it happening with all ‘differences’

grannylyn65 Tue 30-Jul-19 20:05:10

EV again!

GrannyGravy13 Tue 30-Jul-19 20:10:32

EllanVannin You cannot medicate autism out of a child.

Having been in public when GC had a serious meltdown and been on the receiving end of asides and knowing looks a lanyard or T shirt would have helped.

As GC is older we get looks because they will be in a restaurant with iPad and earphones, they are not being ignored or just “plugged in” it is a valuable coping method.

phoenix Tue 30-Jul-19 20:19:18

Sorry to use such a vulgar tetm, but absolutely gobsmacked by the post from EllanVannin

grannyqueenie Tue 30-Jul-19 20:31:18

As others have said, labelling a young child in this way can seems like an extreme measure. However reading through this thread serves as a reminder that judgemental and out of date attitudes sadly are alive and well even in today’s society. Individual parents have to opt for the strategy that works best for them, after all they know their own child’s strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities better than anyone else.

Sara65 Tue 30-Jul-19 20:32:05

Sodapop

I’m inclined to agree with you, personally I don’t think I would feel very comfortable about it, but I’ve never been in that position, and if I was, I may feel differently.

It’s easy to judge, but maybe she just gets sick of explaining

Jane10 Tue 30-Jul-19 20:50:49

I know of an adult woman with autism who highly values her yellow autism lanyard during her commute to the city. It's enabled her to have support when necessary. She's perfectly compus mentis but can become overloaded sensorily in crowds.

Minniemoo Tue 30-Jul-19 20:57:33

I'd guess that this child has had meltdowns in the past and this is just a way the mother can inform judgmental people.

SueDonim Tue 30-Jul-19 21:21:51

EllanVannin I'm pretty sure that if there was medication that could control autism, the parents of autistic children that I know would be absolutely jumping for joy. Perhaps you'd like to tell us the name of this miracle drug so I can share it with my friends.

As for the OP, it's possible the child has a form of autism which means he is non-verbal. The back of the card may have had contact details on it in case he got separated from parents or carers.

PECS Tue 30-Jul-19 22:05:43

it might not be a meltdown . If the child is non verbal &/ or 'own world' but gets separated from mum it would help. Maybe on the other side was a contact number. Every parent needs to do what they feel will protect their children. A couple of shockingly ignorant comments here!

Jane10 Tue 30-Jul-19 22:13:47

There are 'Autism Alert' cards which can be carried in a wallet and also ones in case people get into some sort of trouble with the police or get lost.

GabriellaG54 Tue 30-Jul-19 22:26:10

Suppose there was a situation in which a child choked or accidentally got strangled by the lanyard. Daft things happen and it could end up being serious.

GabriellaG54 Tue 30-Jul-19 22:30:37

I can't ghink thst I would ever have liked a child of mine or, nowsdays, GC or GGC to be 'labelled' in such s manner.

Would people who are deaf, dumb, have ADHD or autism like that sort of labelling? I think not.

GabriellaG54 Tue 30-Jul-19 22:31:50

ghink think
thst that

GabriellaG54 Tue 30-Jul-19 22:47:32

Some children, who don't have any of the labels we now have for different behaviours, might have a meltdowns which is simply a tantrum.

How can we differentiate?

I have never, in my lifetime, known society to have such a range of unseen disabilities and mental health issues which generate a plethora of acronyms.
I wonder why.

Nana3 Tue 30-Jul-19 23:07:53

In my first hand experience the parent wears the lanyard not the child.
I agree with your post grannyqueenie.
I'm shocked by many of the comments on this thread.

Callistemon Tue 30-Jul-19 23:09:15

it might not be a meltdown
No, it could be for any reason which the mother may have felt advantageous.

I would think she knows what is best for her child.

grannyactivist Tue 30-Jul-19 23:19:36

To answer the question, yes, it is now quite 'normal' for parents of children with autism to alert the general public and the emergency services that their child needs accommodations to be made in certain circumstances. Some children with the condition are non-verbal, some have no sense of danger, some can't bear to be touched, some have sensory overload.... I could go on. I am very involved with a child for whom the alert card has been an absolute blessing to her parents.

Many local authorities publish their own Autism Alert Cards for use by adults and certain police forces do too. My friends, parents of an autistic child, have a car sign, a lanyard with alert card and a bracelet for their child.

Doodle Tue 30-Jul-19 23:31:06

My DGC is autistic. He is beautiful, caring, loving. No visible meltdowns but vulnerable. Perhaps the “normal” unmediated children who have made his life hell for years should wear labels saying “ I am a “normal” sadistic little sod who likes calling others names, hitting them, excluding them and saying words to them that I should be ashamed of”. I would be happy to see them medicated EllanVannin