Labelling children.

I was going to say that as I didn't understand Dayone's point about Gransnetters not being supportive but rather being smug and totally oblivious of your own shortcomings and short-sighted and often malicious when several have posted about their own family experiences of autism, or, like me, understand some of the difficulties of family members or friends whose DGC are autistic.

In fact, I cannot understand why Dayone's post is what appears to be downright nasty.

Same here, never saw your posts Dayone but here’s a little tip.....only post on threads you think are interesting.I have just started doing that myself, much better I think.
Many on this thread ( including me) have first hand experience of autism within the family, we have all tried to answer the OP.

Why confused notanan2?

Dayone as I haven't seen any of your posts before (sorry if I missed them) may I say hello and welcome but goodbye too as you seem to be leaving.

Dayone, you say in your post "Now this.....too much for me I'm afraid" "As for the rest.....shame on you "... I have to ask.. I hope this isn't aimed at me? I do agree and disagree with notanan2 but i hope i haven't been smug or offensive in any way, just offered my opinion......
Doddle and watermelon and other posters .. I agree with all of your comments and don't worry lemongrass - i flippin caught her!

Goodbye Gransnet, I no longer wish to read the I'll-informed and very often downright nasty opinions of the posters on here. Call yourselves supportive? I say smug and totally oblivious of your own shortcomings ....not all but increasing in number every time I read the posts on here. How can people be so short-sighted and often malicious in the guide of being caring and supportive of others?
Notanan2, I fear you are a voice in the wilderness. Yesterday's post about the team manager in the NHS had you, a voice of reason, banging your head against a brick wall I think. You were accused of being angry by people who wanted to argue with you and who, themselves, had failed to either read or understand the post. Now this.....too much for me I'm afraid !. Fight the good fight notanan2 and those others who really do want to help make others lives a little better by showing that there is love and support out there and a listening ear when in despair. As for the rest.....shame on you

Oh yes, I've also heard that.
"They're very loving"

Not when they're biting chunks out of you, really.

Thus it ever was Watermeadow I worked with people with Down's and lost count of the times I heard " oh, they are always happy and like music". Grrr.

I find many older people have little knowledge of autism or hold ridiculous ideas like, “They’re all brilliant at one thing, like maths”.
Learn a little about it because it’s really common and you’ll immediately recognise that some of your own family or friends are somewhere on the autism spectrum, which goes all the way from a bit different to profound disability.

Good posts btw ( Specky) ??

Probably running for a bus Specky ?

I am a bit surprised that a child of 6 or 7 would call a four year old a weirdo in any circumstances. Most children realise that younger children like to play and I am a bit surprised that the girl reacted like she did. Perfectly within her rights obviously but i would have thought her pulling her hand away or saying don’t do that would be more usual than calling a very young child a weirdo.

Notanan2.. I do get your point i really do. My point is that mealybug doesn't say that her grandson grabbed the other child just wanted to hold hands which could just as easily be interpreted as a nice gesture from a different child. And I'm talking about spontaneous hugs where words don't need to be used regarding whether consent has been granted because you instinctively know. But i worry that political correctness will overtake the unspoken ways in which two people interact meaning that opportunities for physical expressions of comfort or joy will be lost. I don't believe i hug people who don't want to be hugged. Im sure that friend i saw running in the opposite direction just hadn't seen me

Personally I hope the day never comes when I can't spontaneously hug someone without checking for consent first

Why WOULD you hug someone that has given no indication they want a hug, or no warning that a hug is coming?

Hugs can be lovely. Unwanted hugs are horrible.

Consent is not just about "inappropriate touching". If girls arent given body autonomy generally they will be less equipt to deal with the inappropriate stuff!

My girls are taught that the one time they are allowed to bite/kick/swear/whatever is if they are either grabbed or backed into a corner. No exceptions I will always back them up on that.

If someone is APPROACHING them in an unwanted way I tell them to put out their hand and say "back off" loudly.

But if they are grabbed without warning they have carte blanche. Always.

That does not mean that they are not warm affectionate girls that welcome human contact when it is MUTUALLY invited.

Notanan2, you say " I would have 100% been on the girls side Audism does not override consent" i agree in principle but surely a little boy trying to hold a girls hand on a bouncy castle regardless of whether they have autism or not is simply them impulsively trying to have fun and enjoy physical contact with another child. I don't think it's as black and white as you make out. The parent of the girl should have politely and sensitivity intervened and the use of the word weirdo is not appropriate. I understand mealybugs frustration. Personally I hope the day never comes when I can't spontaneously hug someone without checking for consent first and please people don't get me wrong.. I do realise that consent is important and that inappropriate touching is unacceptable but let's not lose sight of the fact that touch can also be very healing and spontaneity in touching whether in the young or old can sometimes express positive vibes in ways that's words can't.

Oops posted to soon!!!

On the back there could be advice on how to deal with the child if found separately from their parent/carer.

Fennel how about "Hello I am autistic and I see things differently"

When an autistic child has an outburst in public onlookers might think, why doesn't that parent control him/her? Not realising the child has a serious problem. I've heard of that happening often.
A label etc could help the public to be more understanding.
But what to put on the label? Is "autistic" enough?

Loislovesstewie, good post, totally agree.

It is easy to hold opinions, but when you live with autism it's the little everyday things that cause the biggest problems/issues.

Trendygran I was not the poster saying that autistic children should be medicated to the point of not displaying their traits!

My adult son has an autistic spectrum disorder FWIW So does his father and grandfather although not diagnosed it's obvious when observing at the 3 of them that they share the same traits and it's text book high functioning autism. I think having the lanyard is an excellent idea, it gives everyone an idea of what issues the wearer is likely to have and is particularly helpful to emergency services who will hopefully realise that a different sort of approach might be necessary. My son hates strangers touching him and will have a meltdown , even if there is a need for someone to touch him unexpectedly. An explanation before touching is vital. I hope those who have had some training in autism would therefore be aware.

notanan2. Not sure about your remark about children being medicated. This is always a last resort and,as lemon grove says, that does not necessarily stop melt downs. I worked with Autistic children for many years and have mixed feelings about the lanyard. We never used them with the children ,but if it does help to avoid nastiness from some members of the public, then maybe it has a use.
If we, as teachers , encountered any trouble ,we always had a card explaining that the child had autism ,along with the school no. If they wanted further information. Usually worked.

Back to the lanyard. Well done mum! Others, mind your own business!

I’m fed up of people judging parents’ actions with kids with special needs! They need support, understanding and medals not judgement! No wonder many suffer from depression; they have the responsibility 24/7 with a mostly unsupportive system.

OP, I don’t suppose you took the trouble to speak to the mum and ask why he was wearing the lanyard did you?