Do you ever ...

Yes. I am suffering like this at the moment. It's horrendous. for you all.

If ever I feel stressed I always look at incoming outgoing . The heart has two sides , incoming outgoing and must be balanced so if too much is going out and not enough coming in there’s a problem. It’s about boundaries so I look at what I must do , can do and want to do, and make conscious decisions. If I don’t want to it’s mostly something I don’t need to because I’m not a selfish person. I say no to favours, and if people are not pulling their weight I leave things until they do. I also don’t make mistake of thinking shopping is relaxing - for some maybe but not me! Even a hairdo can be stress for me. Sometimes lying in a dark room doing and being nothing except someone breathing is what I need. If I do get stressed I go into what I call safe mode - which is whatever isn’t a matter of life and death I ignore it. My husband would ask what I was doing and I learned to say ‘nothing ‘. Eventually he stopped asking. My mum would jump around wondering how long I’d be doing nothing and I would say maybe just today I don’t know . In the end even she gave up asking. I used to tell my daughter I was meditating because I felt guilty but then I gave up guilt ( such a waste of time) and said I’m doing nothing and actually she learned to do the same which she needed to! It’s very important to come to a stop and become aware , feel, reflect, re evaluate, enjoy the sun wind rain and trees. I did go through guilt at first but if you stick with the guilt it just burns itself out until you’re free. One of my wisdom teachers said if you don’t do something out of love it has no meaning. Funnily enough that’s true when I did something because someone expected me to they often weren’t grateful and I often felt rubbish !!

Feeling stressed is a personal reaction. It has little to do with 'stressful' events or situations and is about how an individual reacts to them (or feels about them). I know somebody who has no real worries but lives in a constant state of severe stress.
Other people respond calmly and logically to the most trying of situations.

Gillybob . I think of you often and not only when you post. You have friends on here and we’ll always listen.

Lots of good and kind advice here. Yes, I have suffered from stress and still suffering in some ways.
Writing things down and, as another poster has said, ticking things off, even small things, reminds you that you can and do cope.
Sending in the hope that you know you are not alone.

farview

Good to hear from you today. Keep in touch with us.

It's been said before but writing down your feelings is good. At my time of high stress, I saw a counsellor and she recommended it. She said just let the words flow. Even if you're repeating yourself. It helped so much. You can pick the notebook up at any time.

I used to have a fantasy on a shelf in my head for those times when I would take it down and enter into it, refining and developing it, introducing new elements, updating it etc. It was probably a kind of dissociation but it worked for me!

I too have been ultra stressed but I have found that writing lists has helped me. I write everything down that’s stressing me and then tackle the issues - if possible - one by one. Some things can be tackled easily - and quickly - so they can be ‘ticked off’. Others take longer / may need outside help / intervention. Even if you have managed to tick a couple of items off your list you will probably feel better and more in control of things. Then look after yourself. You are no good to others if you are not well. Gentle hugs.

Sorry to hear you are going through this it happens to a lot of people.
Even the tallest trees loose all their leaves so they can stand tall to blossom again.
Just bear in mind this too will pass.

Sorry you feel this way. Yes I do and sought help just for someone to chat to. It helps if we just have someone to even have a laugh with. I’ve felt like it when I honestly wanted to go to the hospital mental health team but it did pass. I try to wait for it to pass which it usually does. I hope you have some hobby that can help

Yes!
Prioritise your sleep. Then try to cut out anything that is not essential and don’t be afraid to say no, I can’t, I’m overloaded.
Some things you think you can’t change but when you really stop to think - you actually can.
Try not to worry about stuff that in the bigger picture, really doesn’t matter.

Write down each stress in one sentence. Categories each of them into ‘I can change this’ ‘I can’t change this’. Then work on three ideas of what you can change about the changeable. It is important to remind yourself you can’t change other people. Just the way you look at taking responsibility for a situation...even sometimes when it is not our situation. Does that make sense OP

There is a forum on the internet called " elefriends ". It is run by Mind , for people who need support with their mental health.
Its very like Gransnet with people sharing and offering support.
I think it might help you .
We all suffer from stress and need each other to prevent it getting out of control. Dont feel alone.
Good luck. X

Oh yes I have - to the point where I spent a lot of time in tears at home and also at my workplace. The worst thing was that I had (and still don't) no idea what I had done to start off the problem in the first place !
It was causing me a lot of health problems and the fact I had already had one stomach ulcer added to it, with the fear that I could have another.
I coped day to day by just sitting in my garden or at least getting outside for at least part of the day and when offered, taking redundancy from a job that I had really loved and was good at, just to get away from the cause of the problem.
Unfortunately the cause of the problem is continuing to go on through her life leaving a trail of destruction behind her!

Yes there have been times when I have just wanted to disappear or for my Mum to hug me and tell me everything will be alright (she has been dead many years). Sometimes things can just be overwhelming and too big to deal with. But you will get through it. I know some people don't like this saying but things won't stay like this forever. Even if things seem impossible now.
I hope things get better for you soon x

I think we all do, if that helps.

Not wishing to be too simplistic, but can you try to worry only about this present moment. Too late to sort out things that have passed, and things to come may never happen.

Right now, is the time to be dealing with, and hopefully, right now isn't too awful??

After years of stress, some has been resolved and some will always be with me.
I find, for short term relief, playing cards on line can get me through the tension, and relax me. It may sound crass or trite, but it really does work for me.

Yes farview, on several occasions over the years.

It’s hard but hopefully it will pass ???

Good advice from previous posters.

Try and treat yourself as you would a friend who was going through a similar situation I.e. with kindness.

All the suggestions on this thread can help and perhaps try not to look to far into the future but just deal with what you can on a daily basis. Sometimes you have to recognise that you can’t fix everything and have to wait and see how things pan out, hopefully for the better.

Have something each day to anticipate and look forward to.

Good advice from annsixty.

Even small things like making a hair appointment of trying a new recipe for dinner can help lift your mood. It may not last for long but it's a small ray of hope.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Have sent you a pm farview.

I agree with those who say, try and take something good from each day, be kind to yourself, and take some time just for you

Thank you kitty I know that and I really appreciate it too.

I should’ve said “I have no real life friends”

Yes, yes and yes again.
I have been through so many times like that in my long life.
It does pass but when you are really down it seems you are waiting for the next down time, the next calamity.
You will feel better, truly.
Take the advice on here, look for kindness from friends and family
Have something each day to anticipate and look forward to.
Confide in trusted friends to help you if they can .
Above all have faith and keep posting on here, we will give you love and support.

Yes, many times. I am so sorry you feel swamped. Good advice here. Please share with a trusted friend x