Struggling with what I heard termed as “ my new phase” or “new chapter”.
Well stuff all that - I hate it
This year my eldest son moved in with his girlfriend and so I officially became an empty nester - which was fine been praying he would move out for a while (although I suspect he thinks I was bereft)
My youngest moved out a few years before and is with someone who says she hates me and stopped me seeing my granddaughter for a year .... I was so ill and in the end had a heart attack in September last year .. we reconciled after I apologised for the sins of “buying her a Christmas present” and “saying I love you” (i do not recall) ... anyway resent apologising - but aren’t I supposed to be wiser and not sweat the small stuff? Well I do and actually feel like screaming and shouting at her but I can’t it is so frustrating having to smile !!
last week was my 25th wedding anniversary .. this week I found out my husband is on a dating website ?? I mean can you believe it ! I am still in shock and not sure what to feel.
But I do feel I have lost everything my dignity, my health, my children, my husband.. I always thought being a grand parent would be amazing and how wonderful to be married forever and know everything about someone and still be in love .. I thought I would be wiser and somehow life would flow (not for me) - getting older has turned out to be absolutely pants (to use my sons term) Whi knew !
Hope I am not alone in thinking being older would be rosier
