7 year old grandson, recently lost mother, refuses to learn to read and write

I think time is what's needed here. The poor child has lost his mother. A traumatic event for us at any age but at 7 it's his whole world.

I don't think that you should be worrying too much about school and speaking Spanish at present. I'm sure it's going in, children tend to pick up languages a lot faster than adults.

Letters from you and maybe a gift box now and then to help him and give him something to look forward to?

Grief has many faces and this little man needs to work his way through the maze his own way.

My advice is simple Let him be love him, but let him sort it out in his own way and time lots of time, lots of patience needed the poor little chap has had a huge shock
My grandson lost his Dad when he was 6 and was in shock for a good time, while on the outside he seemed normal, almost naughty, a lot of the time he apparently sat under the table at school He’s 18 now and we sorting and threw away some school books the other week in a tidy up I found one that said ‘goals for the week’ I must try not to fight with blank and I must try not to sit under the table so much
He did have a little bit of counselling but mostly was his mums huge patience His sister was 4 and almost stopped eating she only ate noodles for about a year she’s a healthy intelligent 16 now
Give him time do NOT push him to read write talk or anything let him find his own time he may come to a halt for a while

I think he could benefit from some bereavement counselling. He probably will not learn to read if he is grieving. Poor boy must be very confused.

Don't they have English education in parts of South Africa? Does he need to be educated in Spanish? I may have got the wrong end of the stick.

The school should be a little more understanding and not load this 'problem' onto him with all the other burdens he has to carry.

He's traumatised is the poor wee boy (as must be his brother and Daddy) and needs comfort and love - forget the dratted learning for a while - he'll pick it up eventually.

Some countries don't even attempt to teach children to read or write until they are 7 or older.

When I read things like this, I just want to gather the little ones up and cuddle them - I'm sure you feel the same way.

So I'd advise you and his Dad, who has enough on his plate at the moment, to put the emphasis on making those little fellows feel safe, loved and secure.

Education can wait.

My advice would be to stop pushing him, and then he might stiop resisting. Give up on the reading and writing for a while, and concentrate instead on making him happier and less anxious. Poor little mite, his whole life has crashed around him, he is miserable and worried sick, he barely speaks or nderstands the language, but the grown-ups are just going on and on at him about words on a page for pity's sake!

Does his father have any letters from his mother, in the language he does understand, which he couid read out to him and let him keep in his own room? They would be a link with her to comfort him, and an incentive soon (not under duress!) to learn to read them himself.