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Cathartic clear-out!

(17 Posts)
Lazigirl Thu 15-Aug-19 10:23:08

It was very affecting to read your post Day6, that you felt able to share this, and that you found a therapeutic way of coping during an awful period of your life. I am sure it will give others hope in a similar situation, things can improve. You survived, and seem settled, content and able to deal with the past by composting it! If anyone has stuff they don't want their kids to have to sort out its a good idea to sort it soon because you never know...........

lovebeigecardigans1955 Thu 15-Aug-19 10:17:03

I know how you feel Shazam as I hate throwing things away. I try to keep on top of things but I don't want to throw away old cards - some are from those who are no longer with us. I'm toying with making a collage or art work with these so that they can still go on display.

I love my books and vinyl albums and don't want to get rid of those either. I could do with a slightly bigger house. I've been saying that for years.

Teetime Thu 15-Aug-19 10:11:33

We sorted the CDs yesterday and sent 50% of them to the charity shop - downloading and music systems like Sonos make all this music on tap. We downloaded as much as we wanted on to an I Pod. Couldn't persuade DH to part with Jethro Tull!

GillT57 Thu 15-Aug-19 10:07:55

It does feel good when it is done, I have destroyed teenage diaries as I would have hated my children to read them. I had visions of my last words....."what do you want to say mum, that you love us? The key to the safe is in the yellow teapot? Oh, burn my teenage diaries"

JackyB Thu 15-Aug-19 09:47:19

Since retiring I have hoped to get everything sorted. I am making slower progress than I should, but I made sure. I organised my paperwork first, throwing out old invoices and most of the stuff that was over 10 years old.

I know from my own experience with my parents and parents-in-law that they will never be needed again and my kids will not want to waste their time reading through it all.

Personal letters will be next. I'm not really sure about those. I think I may file them in all those files that are now empty after the first purge!

callgirl1 Wed 14-Aug-19 21:44:14

Daughter 2 pushed me into it shortly after my husband died, partly through necessity, certain paperwork was needed, but now, nearly 3 years later, the paperwork seems to have accumulated again! She`s going to have a whale of a time after I pop me clogs, getting rid of all my "rubbish"!

MiniMoon Wed 14-Aug-19 20:26:25

I really need a clear out too. You've given me the push I need to start. Firstly I'm going through the drawers in the hall table. Then it's on to the bedroom side tables.
I'm going to start first th ing tomorrow.

Tangerine Wed 14-Aug-19 20:24:31

I love having a clear-out. I think it is good for people mentally and there is nothing like moving house to make you do it, I find.

Shizam Wed 14-Aug-19 20:18:39

Day6 It does feel freeing to lose all of those ghosts from the past.
My sock drawer Fennel. another issue I need to deal with. As for clothes cupboard, most I can’t wear anymore due to weird post-60 fat tum, but now skinny legs combo.

Think the admin first though. Trying to imagine family failing to cope with my disastrous filing system. You do build up a lot of rubbish in a lifetime. And knowing my sons, they’ll probably just bin everything and lose important documents!

Nico97 Wed 14-Aug-19 20:10:24

What a truly touching post Day6. I can only begin to imagine the heartache that you have endured. Well done on coming through it all, a great credit to you. Take care flowers

GabriellaG54 Wed 14-Aug-19 20:04:21

I'm sure that, now the albatross is lifted, you feel freer and happier.
Many good wishes to you. A brighter lighter future beckons. flowerssmile

Day6 Wed 14-Aug-19 19:39:08

The only way I could cope with a very unhappy marriage was to pour out my heart on paper to try and make sense of what was going on. They were invariably tear-soaked. Most of those pieces of paper - written over ten years of unhappiness I put in a file and hid away, not wanting the children to see them or read about their father and his 'ways' (That is a euphemism for heck of a lot more!)

Last week, doing a little bit of unpacking of boxes that haven't been touched since we moved in to this house (me and my OH - who is so very different to my ex husband) I came across my innocent looking plastic folder. I read through those out-pourings and felt quite sick, It brought back all those lonely and scared nights to me. It was horrible reading about those events.

I divorced my husband, eventually, and carried on alone, and even ensured the children stayed in touch with their father. What happened is water under the bridge now and we have all moved on. I decided I did not want to be reminded of those awful times because my words brought back all the old fear and sadness/misery. More than anything I didn't want the children to find them and feel any guilt, or indeed change their feeling for their father. It would make for shocking reading.

So, I tore up every single bit of paper into small pieces and threw them into a big bowl of water in the sink. After half an hour I fished out the soggy scraps of paper and wrung them out into tiny little balls. They became impossible to read and those actions were so cathartic. I was grinning as a squeezed out the water from them. smile The little paper pellets went into the compost bin.

I felt a weight lifting from me as I discarded that part of my past. It was amazing. Now for all the other things I have been holding on to, including diaries from teenager years (really embarrassing) and thoughts and musings from other years committed to paper.

I am moving forward, not looking back, and it feels good.

SisterAct Wed 14-Aug-19 18:19:08

I was made redundant in July and have spent time tidying and sorting. Love it and thinking should I set up in business filing and clearing.

Fennel Wed 14-Aug-19 18:17:20

I sorted out my sock drawer this morning. and threw about 80% in the bin.
But yet to tackle the paperwork.

silverlining48 Wed 14-Aug-19 18:11:30

Well done, it’s something I intend to do too though It may be a while.....
I have to say I recently burned all my teenage diaries, innocent times but goodness I was daft, total embarrassment. Then there are the piles of other papers waiting attention. Might just save them fir the chilly autumn nights, although now might be as good a time as any. Put my electric blanket on last night!

leyla Wed 14-Aug-19 17:37:21

Will you come and do mine next, please...!

Shizam Wed 14-Aug-19 17:33:45

Have just spent afternoon going through huge box filled to the brim with old cards, letters, diaries etc. Found love letters from boyfriends from 40 years ago. I’m such a sentimental fool to have kept them all these years.

Anyway, they’ve all gone in the bin. Just kept handmade cards from kids when young and a few cards from my Dad.
Occurred to me while reading through it all how my sons would not have appreciated reading some of those letters or diaries when I’m gone!

Next Herculean task is my disastrous admin filing system. It’s all in heaps here, there and everywhere. Not looking forward to it, but trying to get organised while the mood has struck me. Normally always put off these jobs.