Driving anxiety

Driving conditions in the UK have changed so much in the last 20-30 years. More people have a car, some have 2 or 3. Cars are bigger and faster.
There are many more and bigger transport vehicles on the roads. Road systems in towns are constantly changing, and motorway driving is becoming more congested. Especially in our small country.
Driving was a pleasure when we were in rural France, but it's no pleasure here. And I had been driving for about 60 years.
It's been a relief to decide to stop.

Yes - you don’t say how old you aren’t ineedamon. If you are still quite young you could have some therapy perhaps, but if elderly perhaps as Jura says

Not sure how to say this, but this thread makes me very uneasy. Again, this is sensitive- but is it time to stop driving if anxiety makes you 'unsure'. Sorry.

I tried learning to drive many years ago and decided it was not for me. Just my own opinion but I felt Id rather use public transport than risking an accident due to my anxiety. I understand this may not be practical for others, especially if you live rurally. I have heard that an automatic car may be the answer, many folks I know think they are helpful. The person who suggested the test drive is a good idea,you could try the automatic without commitment and see what you think.In my opinion, I feel the standard of driving these days has deteriorated greatly(Im not meaning anyone on here). I am happy to use public transport, though have been involved in various campaigns to save our bus service in the last few years. Certainly you would need to drive if there is no public transport near you.

After 42 years of driving, I'm still confident, but fully endorse the suggestion of an automatic. I love mine! Wanted one for years, but DH always said they're expensive if they go wrong. I got my way eventually and would never go back to a manual, but that's mainly because of the ease of use when in traffic jams!

I’m another nervous driver and an even worse passenger. Luckily there is a good bus service in town but sometimes you just want to go further. The routes I do regularly I’m OK with and even enjoy - but I don’t like town traffic and I know I wait too long at junctions and roundabouts because I want a good gap, where others would just go even if it causes another driver to brake. I would love an automatic but there’s no money for a better car - mine would be worth £300 at most if I sell it! It does not help my confidence knowing that as an old model it does not have the safety features that a newer car has - if hit it would just crumble to nothing .....

I gave up driving a few months ago. We have an automatic car, there's a short upstep from the accelerator to the brake and my foot got stuck. Pressed the accelerator instead of the brake in an emergency situation .
TG I reacted by swerving at the last second. That was it, keep death off the road.
I'm over 80 btw,. Like Diane we have a good bus service here.

Automatic is the answer. I failed my test 4 times on a manual and almost gave up until everyone suggested I try an automatic - so, had a few lessons on auto, passed and haven't looked back.. I must say though, I don't drive too far, but it serves my purpose, shopping, visiting friends etc.

Perhaps go for some test drives in a few automatic cars. You won't be forced to buy one but you'll find out if it helps you with your problem.

I suspect it will help you. At first, if you buy one, drive at the weekends on easy routes.

I wish you the best of luck with it all.

Ayse "creasing age" made me ... I'm definitely creasing with age!

Increasing age

I’m so glad I’m not alone in getting anxious. My biggest worry is driving on fast roads and joining the carriageway. I’m ok if I know the road and where I’m going but I’m aware that my reaction times are slower than they used to be. I prefer my manual car to an automatic but it’s comforting to be in the good company of nervous drivers.
I’m also a nervous passenger so I can’t win.
Never mind, just one of the little irritations of creasing age.

It could help by showing there are worse cases Phoenix!

Alima not sure your post is actually going to help ineedamum!

I have an automatic Hyundai, it’s great, I used to get anxious but had to get myself over it when DH had cataracts which prevented him from driving.

We’d booked a holiday in Cornwall in June, we would have lost quite a lot of money if we’d cancelled, so it meant I had to drive there and back, a total of 816 miles.

We stopped every 50 miles or so for coffee or just to stretch our legs. I quite enjoyed it really now I think about it!

I'm not the best motorway driver (I'm happy to potter along locally, also in an automatic). But there have been occasions when I need to or want to drive some distance and I put my mind to it and I do it. I plot the route on Google maps, print it out in text, listen to the instructions beforehand, I take the printout with me plus I use the GPS in the car (being aware that it sometimes doesn't quite get it right, hence the printed instructions as back-up!)

I find that if I prepare thoroughly as described, I'm okay and I do not get anxious.

and good luck.

I have had an automatic VW Polo for many years - this is Mark 2. I was so glad I had an automatic as I fractured my left foot several years ago and I would otherwise have been housebound.

I do not think that driving anxiety is as pathological as some people believe - anyone with half a brain should be anxious about driving - you have a lethal weapon in your hands, and, worse still, so do the people around you driving - and some of them leave a bit to be desired in terms of patience and intelligence.

I wish you luck ineedamum but I am certainly not the person to advise! I finally got shot of my car three months ago, for the last 11 months I had hardly driven it at all, felt so panicky. Even now, though I would love to be able to drive I cannot do it. DH doesn’t drive and we live in the middle of nowhere so it is a pain. I was reading an article the other day about driving phobia. Think that is what I have. The advice was to drive short distances and gradually build up. That didn’t help me by the way! Really not sure an automatic would help, it wasn’t the actual driving that frightened me more like the thought of driving. Need to change my username to staticgran!

I too have to drive, and in truth, I still want to, I couldn’t bear to lose my independence, but I’m finding myself more and more often avoiding certain places,

ineedamum any car is as expensive as you choose it to be, automatics might be more expensive than the same model/year/mileage, but it's a bit like "how long is a piece of string"!

I would urge you to do whatever you can to get driving again, feel free to pm me if you would like to.

Diane227 you are lucky to have a husband who will drive you, and good bus services!

My husband leaves for work at 6am, I work fairly close by, but there is no bus, I have to drive. There is no way that Mr P could drive me to work!

Another fan of small automatics here! I have a Honda Jazz. You will never stall or find yourself in the wrong gear, and hill starts are a doddle.
Of course there could be the option of a new electric car, I think they are even easier to drive, but of course they will be expensive and you need a convenient charging station.
Good luck, I hope you will persevere.

Thanks Diane227

I wish there wasn't a stigma in driving anxiety. There are people who are too confident - causing crashes, driving when drunk etc

I gave up driving when I retired at 60.
I started to feel panicked drivng over 50mph.
It began after an attack of vertigo and I just lost confidence.
DH now drives everywhere. It is a bit restricting but luckily I live on a good bus route so can also get around independently.
I didnt think this would ever happen to me and it has been difficult explaining to other people but rather that than have/ cause an accident.

Initially I will drive a regular route, but today I was struggling with the handbrake when I haven't before. It looks like I use it correctly, even the instructor was confused!!

Meant to add, once you have your small automatic, start with short trips where you really know the route (obviously) no need to push yourself. Even if you just drive around the block, to the end of the street and back, it doesn't matter, just keep doing it until you feel ready to venture further afield.

My ex husband was mainly responsible for my lack of confidence, I used to drive from Middlesex to Cornwall in a manual car with not a care, but that's another story.........