senior accommodation

Beswitched
I doubt the op will read your reply. She last posted in August 2019.

This is an old thread, I thought I might have contributed to it but seems I haven't

My mother, after she became widowed really wanted to downsize and move into sheltered accommodation. I helped her sell her home and look for a suitable place. We did find a really nice block facing the sea, in the town my parents had retired to. She was very happy there, she had quite a good social life one way and another, not only through the activities on site but also from the circle she had built up around her church.

My God the charges though were steep, I can see where some of the money was spent everything was replaced promptly and the lift, which is essential for the elderly and often infirm was only ever out of order for a couple of hours maximum. When she died, as it is for all those left selling their relative's property, the greedy management company took a percentage of the sale price, can't remember how much that was now, certainly over a £1,000 but money for old rope as far as they were concerned, they did nothing for that, but it was written into the contract. I do remember my mum consulting me on that point of purchase saying that as a seller those charges would apply, but as far as I was concerned I just wanted her to have her desired lifestyle and home of her choice and anyway it was her money to spend as she wished so didn't take any of that on board. She was annoyed about that clause in the contract, but there wasn't anything that she could do about it.

I have heard, since she died, increasingly there are some feisty residents who have bought this type of property around the country and have subsequently got together and overthrown their management companies, taking over the running of the property themselves, thus saving the residents shed loads of money. Good for them!

I had a friend who lived in an old, large, steep staircased house. She was in her eighties. She had a pulley-type contraption fitted to her stairs. This helped her to take things upstairs. When I suggested she moves to a Bungalow, she told me, going up and down the stairs, twice a day, was the only exercise she had and so, had no intention of moving to a Bungalow ?

My mother had just decided to downsize (mid 80s) when she became ill. Left it too late. I'm going to try to avoid making that mistake.

goldengirl

I came in near the end of that programme but what I saw was very interesting. The upshot seemed to be that the UK doesn't have sufficient properties for older people who are still lively! Sheltered accommodation, it seems, is not as popular as it once was and doesn't suit the baby boomers as much as it used to. More imagination is needed for us 'oldies'. Ideally I'd like to live in a mixed community; the thought of being just with elderly people would drive me nuts!

I agree. I don't think segregating people by age is healthy for society. Younger and older people can learn a lot and benefit a lot from each other's company.

Not sure what the solution is though. The days when family usually lived close by are over. Also longer commutes and working hours mean neighbours are no longer as friendly with each other and regularly popping in and out of each others houses.

My aunt lives in what used to be a friendly village where everyone knew each other. But all of her children moved away to go to University and to work. Even small houses in and around the village became unaffordable for them as its a popular holiday area and they get snapped up at high prices by investors and second home owners. The few people who do buy in order to live in the area commute to the nearest town to work so are not around much.

My aunt has become increasingly lonely and is now moving to a completely different part of the country to live with her daughter.

Sorry OP, I know that's not much use to you.

At 84 I've been thinking about this for some time now.
I looked into various pros and cons last year and decided to stay where I am until my health gives way. Apart from a chronic back condition I am in good health. And I live on one level. I still drive and go out a lot (well, not recently as I've been depressed). Also, it's so beautiful where I live that I am reluctant to leave it.

When i worked as a carer, I went to a lot of people who lived in sheltered accommodation and they absolutely loved it. We were allowed to have the key code to enter the building. Everyone had their own front door everything on 1 level, a pull cord in case of emergency a communal room with Daily activities, a warden on call 24hrs a day the only drawback a few people had was that they had to get rid of a lot of their furniture.

There was also a bedroom/en-suite for family/visitors who lived away and wanted to come up to visit their loved ones. It really was ideal.

My friend lives in 1 now and every time i visit her, the heating is pumping out, i once said to her that her heating bill must be astronomical, she replied that the heating is included with the rent, water and something else, but i forgot. She goes to the communal room for bingo, coffee morning blah, blah, blah. They have a singer on at certain occasions, spring fayre, summer fayre Christmas fayre, and she gets her rent paid by pension something, im not fully aware of all that so i am not giving correct information, all i know is because she is pension age ( she is 74 ) she is entitled to blah blah blah ( no wonder her heating is pumping out hahaha )

The accommodation i am talking about is not 1 of these newly built retirement villages with an entrance hall that resembles The Ritz or swimming pool or fabulous ohh la la balconies, those look absolutely wonderful and very chic, but i can't help thinking that there is absolute nil care whatsoever, it's ££££££££££, and if you need care you're told to go !!!!! whats THAT all about? and lets face it tomorrow's is not our own, so in my view, moving into 1 of the new plush, all singing and dancing, ohh la la retirement apartments is all well and good BUT uncertainty keeps tapping ones shoulder ...

Just my take on the matter.

If I felt the need to downsize to a flat, I’d pick an ‘ordinary’ one, not a purpose-built retirement one, with all the attendant charges and difficulties of selling.

I’ve read more than one horror story of trying to sell when needed, inc. one of someone needing to move to a care home, when the daughter was unable to sell the flat for ages - but hefty charges still had to be paid - and in the end selling it for a lot less than the parent paid.

I gather that many of them can be rented instead, which may be a better option, but the details would need to be very carefully looked into.

My mother did look at a few retirement flats but didn’t like any of them. Among other things, too poky, windows too small and high up to be able to see anything but sky when you were sitting down - and no dishwasher! not even a smaller one, and no space for one. She was particularly incensed when the (20-something) salesgirl said, ‘Oh, they didn’t think old people would want them.’
This was quite a while ago now, though.
She ended up staying in the small, easily managed house which she had already downsized to some years previously.

This thread is from 2019!!

I actually don't think I could afford to move as house prices near me are crazy. All new builds seem to be 4,5, bedrooms and I wouldn't want a bigger place.

The decision is up to you. In my situation, I decided to move into a retirement house instead of living alone. I also didn't want to be a burden to my children. Honestly, it was one of the best decisions I made. A retirement home is not as bad as some people make it out to be. I get to enjoy my remaining retirement days without having to worry about anything. If you're interested, here's where you can learn more. I suggest you be open to different options.

One aspect that's rarely mentioned re bungalows....

My folks downsized to one in their early-mid 60s when they were still fit and reasonably active. They hadn't particularly wanted a bungalow, but it was all they could find in their chosen area.

After 3 years they decided they didn't like the area after all, and moved again - to a house. And they said they really felt the difference - the lack of stairs during those 3 years had affected their fitness - though it returned fairly quickly.

After my father died in his early 70s my mother downsized again, to a smaller house close by with a very small garden. I know she was very lucky, but she was still well able to manage the stairs when she finally moved into a care home at 89 - only because of worsening dementia.

As for not bothering with spare bedrooms, I was certainly glad she had one for me or siblings, especially as dementia took hold - none of us lived nearby and it made the increasingly needed 'sleepovers' much easier.

I too am in my 70s, widowed last year and live in a 4 bedroom house with a large garden. Fit and healthy at the moment and still capable of managing most things on my own. Have thought about down-sizing in the future, but family live fairly near, and I have the most lovely neighbours (most of us have been here for 20 years and more). So staying put for a while, and trying not to think what if.....

Re hard floors - we had fitted carpets and extra thick underlay fitted when we moved to our flat from our suburban house. They are very easy to keep - we have a hoover and use it!
However, joking apart, we went for thick floor covering in case of falls so we can avoid breaking our hips if at all possible.

Thanks everyone. For the moment I am staying put. Have just taken on a cleaner and a gardener though AGE UK. Will see how this works out.

We downsized 10 years ago. DH has multiple health issues and we were unable to do the garden (found it difficult to get anyone reliable to help) and general stuff. Whilst we could afford a decorator there was all the hassle of getting jobs done. We decided to move to a flat. Having always lived in detached properties we were not without concerns regarding neighbours etc.
If the block you buy into is too small then there is not enough money coming in for maintenance. If it’s too big you get lost among all the other owners. Buying a flat in a house conversion means there is usually not good soundproofing and plumbing etc is a bit hit and miss.
We bought a flat in a block which was purpose built about 20 years ago. We had a good look round and checked how well it was maintained all the rules and regulations costs of maintenance etc.
We are very happy with the move we made. This flat is one of the nicest places we have lived. All the exterior gardening, painting cleaning etc is done for us. We have a lift and good sized accommodation. We had the bathroom adapted with a big shower and all the doorways are wide enough for wheelchairs. We have had the odd noisy neighbour but anything like that is usually sorted out very quickly by the management team. We have some great neighbours, a lovely outlook, 2 parking spaces and are close to the local town.

I’m in the process of downsizing aged 60. My husband died just before Christmas and since then I have been emptying out our 4 bed house. My sons pushed me into downsizing to a bungalow because I have mobility problems and have fallen on the stairs a couple of times. I have a loo downstairs but no room for a shower, I could sleep downstairs okay but I would stink! I do feel at 60 I am too young for this but my current house is at the peak of its appeal, everything has been replaced, repainted and improved. The longer I live in it the worse it will become and the less I would get for it. I never considered a flat, as the lease often causes problems, and you are at risk of noisy neighbours above, below and next to you. You are always at the whim of the leaseholder. There is also fire and flood risk coming at you from all sides. If there was a fire could you get out easily? In my bungalow there are 3 doors to get out of and windows that I can get out of in a pinch. Yes I am responsible for all maintenance of the bungalow but it is certainly easier than a house. The move has also freed up capital which I can share around my sons and ease their life a little.

A lot of retirement properties have fallen significantly in value in recent years, often not realising the purchase price and being difficult to sell. Look at what you need to change/upgrade/adapt in your own home to see if that can be done before considering a move. My own Mum, at 95, is still in the house we moved to when I was 11 and manages very well with a cleaner.

I like Alexa's way.

Kirsty from the TV put it even more clearly! She said ‘it is not our responsibility to house our adult child visitors’.

But it is so gorgeous when they are all here. I can't give that up yet.

I'm 78 in a few weeks and I can't imagine giving up my 4 bedroom house we have lived in for fifty-odd years.

While there is the two of us were unlikely to downsize further.
We are in a nice townhouse , a two up two down type.
We can install a chair lift and the laundry can/will be converted to a safe shower , there is already a loo in there.
Within in a few hundred feet we have our gp, chemist , local little supermarket , etc etc. Also public transport.
The place isn't perfect but we can overcome the issues with expenditure

PS hard floors are easier to keep clean

I am 88 and live in a three bed semi with large garden, and I have a dog.

My bed and clothes storage is in the downstairs living room also my TV and computer.

The kitchen has room for a dining table. There is a downstairs wet room.

When I planned the garden 20 years ago I made it for privacy and easy maintenance. There are a lot of trees and long grass with paths. No flower beds.

My sons do nearly all the garden work such as it is there is not much. The upstairs is useful if they want to stay for any reason, as they have it all to themselves with own bathroom.

I like my rather untidy arrangements because I decided on my priorities twenty years ago. Optimist, it really is important to make arrangements for disabled living before it happens to you. it may be that you can do this without moving but if not you should move.

Very very interesting responses thank you all. My husband and I did downsize (30 years ago!) and I have a small house and garden now. Downstairs loo, upstairs bathroom, , lovely neighbours, Tesco and cashpoint on the corner, buses at the end of the road taking me into and out of London. Perfect really. But still I worry about the future.

Jane10. England's lease laws do seem to lend themselves to people being ripped off. They don't seem to be the same elsewhere.