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(7 Posts)
DaisySweetDream Sat 28-Dec-19 12:07:28

In America my son overused his credit cards. He took £40.000 of my money, not as I had hoped to pay the debts off. Instead he sends money to his girlfriend in America, who is very nice, but does not have a 'green card', being Mexican, with whom he says he cannot control. He gives £100 month to a friend for concession flights to L. A.
Has bought five vehicles, now being sold at a loss. He gives me nothing, and says he cannot afford to pay me back. If mention my concerns he becomes aggressive, will smash things around the house, abuse me, or hit me. To go to the police or doctors would be harmful for me. I have asked him to leave. but he will throw bricks through the windows when dark. He wants me to move into a care home, I am now 75, on medication but basically in good health. I am not allowed out of the house, garden, shopping, health appts. unless he approves, should he have to look after me should I tumble. Other son, gave £2.000 to pay their mortgage, worried about losing their house, went on holiday about two months later. Thoughts please.

Chewbacca Sat 28-Dec-19 12:14:52

Phone the police and tell them what you told us: he's used violence and intimidation against you and you need them to remove him from your home.

MadeInYorkshire Sat 28-Dec-19 12:25:36

OMG @DaisySweetDream, you MUST get some help before he does something worse ... have a look at this, you need your GP, the Police a solicitor and possibly Social Services behind you - it won't be fun sorting it but eventually it will be ok - you are not safe! He/they are after your money nothing else! Does he control your phone/computer too? Look at second link. Whereabouts in the country are you?

BlueBelle Sat 28-Dec-19 12:28:39

Daisysweetdreams you are in a very dangerous and abusive relationship I think I read it that you are in U.K. and the son goes backwards and forwards to US to his girlfriend on your money it sounds as if both sons are abusing your money status and will leave you with nothing so first of all I would get what money you have left put in a secure account and as you say you can’t go to the. Police which I would have thought was paramount personally but failing that get advice from your local women’s refuge as to your safety which sounds greatly compromised
Elder abuse is taken very seriously by the police I m sure you wouldn’t be in any more danger than you are now it can’t be much worse can it ?

notanan2 Sat 28-Dec-19 12:43:03

Are you in the states too?

You need professional help and support but I dont know what is available in your location.

You cannot manage or deal with this alone. It is beyond what you can negotiate or fix. You need professional help

phoenix Sat 28-Dec-19 12:57:11

What they ^^ have said!

MadeInYorkshire Sat 28-Dec-19 14:04:53


Can you please keep popping in so that we know you are ok, although only if it is safe for you? I for one am very worried about your situation ....

Are you UK based - if so, where are you, and does he keep going over to the US? If so that is the time for action - how does he keep tabs on you when he is away - does he have a home security camera he can keep checking up on you with perhaps?

This is very scary - how did he manage to take £40k of your money too? This is abuse on so many counts sadly ..... sad

Take good care and get some help, please ....