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Was I a hard mother?

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Callistemon Tue 07-Jan-20 13:50:23

I must have been a soft mother, despite the fact that I worked too!

They did learn life skills from me though, must have been by osmosis, although the DD hate ironing and DS loves cooking.

I had no idea how to iron a shirt when I got married, although my DM saved all the 'flat' things for me to iron.

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annodomini Tue 07-Jan-20 13:44:24

I think I must have ironed their school shirts though I don't have any clear memory of it! Both DSs are now very good at ironing for which I take no credit. Domesticity has house-trained them!

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Yennifer Tue 07-Jan-20 13:41:21

No, it's not just about teaching life skills, it also normalises it. Imagine moving out and suddenly needing to do everything for yourself, even when you have taught yourself to do it, it feels like a chore. If ironing your own clothes, tidying up and cooking something healthy is normal for you, you don't then look for ways to cut corners and live lazily lol x

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yggdrasil Tue 07-Jan-20 13:36:48

Absolutely not. You gave your children the education they need to be independent. I suppose it is possible the mother you talked to really enjoys ironing, I believe there are people like that grin
Same with your husband. His shirts, his decision!

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GrannyLaine Tue 07-Jan-20 13:34:31

Not at all Farmor15 Your remit as a mother is to equip your children with the skills they need to become independent. It sounds as though you did a good job. As far as your OH is concerned, I think that's fine too.

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Farmor15 Tue 07-Jan-20 13:25:51

Talking to a mother of 3 sons in 20s, she mentioned how she was kept busy ironing their shirts. I wondered was I a hard mother as I made my 5 children iron their own clothes (if they needed ironing) from about the age of 10. They also had to make own sandwiches for school almost as soon as they could hold a knife and butter bread!
I was working but their dad was at home when children were young and I'm not sure whether lack of time or laziness on our part was the reason our children learnt independence from an early age.
It doesn't seem to have done them any harm (I think?) and they don't apparently hold it against us now they're adults.
Once OH retired, I refused to iron his shirts either. There's a big basket of them now - he irons one when he needs it.
Was I a hard mother and now a bad wife?

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