men on postnatal wards at night

There was never any peace at night in hospital anyway. I just had to have my own room - and get home asap.

I think not, if you want your partner staying the night then go private. Sorry if that sounds harsh but once the baby is born and everything is ok then the partner should leave. I would hate other peoples partners being on same ward as I tried to feed my baby.

Maybe we should be lobbying our MP's to say that the new hospitals we have been promised will have more privacy and dignity designed into the plans.

Often services are set up with the patients needs at the bottom of the pile- I'm thinking here of Willow running the gauntlet in her gown and clutching the back to ensure no one sees her knickers. Why are services set up that way?

I saw a documentary about Claridges some years ago where senior staff stay over night in a refurbished room to spot check the potential problems. Maybe the hospital managers should trial various services to see what it feels like walking through hospital corridors barely dressed while bored patients and their entourage watch you with great interest, or spend the night on a maternity ward with endless chit chat and noise from the man staying with his partner in the next bay.

First baby 1973 and husband in waiting room (watching Wimbledon). Then saw baby and went home. Second time 1975 a home birth, after 6 months fighting to get it. Husband practically delivered baby as midwives gave up when labour stopped (main one and 3 students as few home births then) and he'd seen the film so said is ok! Midwives arrived back as I was pushing. Husband went to check on 2 year old, throwing cornflakes around the kitchen. Gran came to collect her and we settled to a day at home, with new baby. If all is well, highly recommend home birth. And that second daughter had a home birth 40 years later, husband there in birth pool with her, 3 midwives taking photos, very happy baby.

No husband's should not be allowed to stay, however if they would like to pay for a private room in which they would not disturb other new mothers then that could be arranged, cash up front of course.

Pen 50 - totally agree with you. It's high time hospitals were dragged into the 21st century and did away with wards, mixed or otherwise and useless curtains which give no privacy whatsoever. They should all be replaced with private rooms. There's nothing worse than the huniliation of losing your privacy and dignity, especially when you are sick and/or vulnerable. The last time I had a scan I had to change into one of those awful gowns which tie at the back and be walked through several corridors lined with people sitting waiting for appointments! The very idea of men hanging around a maternity ward at night is horrendous. It's bad enough during the day for the other mothers - give the poor women some privacy for goodness sake.

I was a bit confused by that, thought I was missing something

Worrying. Any male could swan in claiming to be the partner of a new mother and cause irreparable havoc......

Can't men just realise they don't have a God-given right to be everywhere?

???I really did mean lonelier and not kinkier!
Women not omen!
Bloody spellcheck - bloody men!

I would certainly draw the line at smelly hot takeaways - bad enough on a bus, when you’re not feeling fragile. As for staying the whole night, unless it’s a private room with sufficient facilities, I can’t see how that would work, or not disturb other people.

My dd who recently gave birth must have been lucky. After the birth she was moved to her own room with a big double bed, where her also very tired dh fell asleep beside her in the evening. (It was an NHS hospital, in case anybody’s wondering.). He later came home to bed, though.

IIRC after she had her first in the same hospital, visitors had to be out by a certain time - 8 or 9 pm.

I would have HATED this with my four - I had c-sections and had to hobble to the loo, bits hanging out, in pain. The last thing I’d have wanted is a group of men sitting around watching me and the world go by.
I was always glad when visiting time was over because some women felt it necessary to have a least 4 families around the bed at all times, shouting over each other from 2 until 8 - and I just wanted to rest with my baby.
I think it’s a beautiful time for mother and child, there are long visiting hours for dads and some won’t be able to stay overnight due to work or other children which just makes it even kinkier for the women whose partners can’t be there. I’ve no time for this ‘we’ve just given birth’ NO - ‘She’ has just given birth. If they pay for a private room then fair egg cough but why should other r ET omen feel the need to hide behind a curtain for privacy after birth - let the new mothers support each other, along with nursing staff.

Maybe if all the beds were in small rooms...

Our a&e is all small rooms with doors rather than curtained cubicles, so maybe if the post natal ward was set up like that it might work better.

Here we are with the old “human rights” argument again. What an absolutely ridiculous idea. A ward isn’t a place for social gatherings. Nice way to hide the need for more nurses though! How did women manage in past decades/centuries? It’s this present attitude that people’s demands, however stupid, have to be met. No, they don’t! Then there’s the whole other issue of risk of infection. My mind is boggled.

Bring back the old fashioned Matrons, they’ll sort it

It is very difficult for staff to deal with people who behave badly in a hospital ward. When I was in hospital there was one woman whose entire family arrived with her. They were very loud and her husband was demanding that she be seen immediately and that she should not have to wait until Monday. The nurse informed them that only two people at a time were allowed and they became abusive and accused the nurses of racism even though the nurse who spoke to them was of the same ethnicity. They had to get security who had to threaten them with the police. They eventually left but not until making everyone on the ward feel worse. One of the group made an offensive comment to me as she left. I'm not sure why as I hadn't said anything but I think I made the mistake of looking at her (it was hard to avoid doing that).
To have a situation like that on a maternity ward would be very upsetting for everyone.
They should have a rule that someone may stay for a woman who has had a multiple birth or a procedure that might mean that they need additional care. Of course then people would argue that other people could have people there when they can't so there will always be rows.
It is all down to staff shortages and that does not seem the best way to resolve them but they are going to be with us for some time.

No,no no. But I can understand if it's exceptions cheer circumstances, and no food. No phone calls. And keeping voices down

Frankly I think it's abominable that in the 21st century we are still expected to stay in hospital in a room full of total strangers. Single rooms should be the norm, as they are in most civilised countries.

Dreadful idea completely in my opinion. The nursing staff should be giving support to new mums out of visiting hours. The fathers and family should be allowed in later, around 9 am.

Another case of the impossibility of pleasing all of the people all of the time! There need to be set visiting times that are adhered to but given attitudes of entitlement by some people, it would be hard to enforce without some bouncer type security guards.

I would have hated it.
All I wanted after the birth was to try and sleep for a few hours.

I would be horrified if I had just given birth after a long. exhausting labour to have some strangers husband or partner next to me, making loud phone calls (some people seem to think that we ll want to hear what they are talking about) or eating revolting smelling take aways, let alone climbing into bed with them . How the heck you fit 2 people in a hospital bed is beyond me!
You have just gone through what can be a traumatic experience, had complete strangers staring at parts of your body that only your nearest and dearest have seen and then that ?? no no no no!
Having said that, my ex husband was about as much use as a chocolate radiator during the birth and only turned up during visiting hours, leaving when the bell rung and was more bothered about going for a meal and a drink with one of his friends when I was suffering from the baby blues!

The NHS has "supposedly" phased out mixed-sex wards. I fail to see how having men lying and sitting around a maternity ward all day and night is any different.

Obviously if there is a problem with either baby or mother this should be taken into consideration, but otherwise there should be set hours when women know they will have privacy.

The staff have a difficult task without having to shift people around every time they want to reach a bed or equipment.

By boundaries, I just mean general ones. Lights out by 9/10 pm, no talking about sex with your mates after that time whilst your kid is ill and other parents are trying to sleep. Stop shouting at the staff all day. Stop disrupting other patients and then complaining if they want to watch TV themselves. I also agree no bloody takeaways too. Go and eat food in the food court or parents room out of the way. Stop making the rest of us even more miserable

New mothers have the right to privacy (from other men in particular) so strict rules should be applied to fathers visiting rights and other family members allowed during visiting hours only.
My goodness, back in the day Matron would have blown a fuse to see such behaviour. She would never have allowed it!

After staying on a children's ward with a sick child for a longish period of time, I'd go as far as to say there need to be stricter rules surrounding visiting and parents 'hours' too. I think it's fine for a parent to stay overnight but so many people lack boundaries as to what is and isn't acceptable. Open policies just don't seem to work