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Mother that keeps on giving

(79 Posts)
Dec46 Tue 28-Jan-20 16:35:02

When my mum was alive she always gave me lovely presents on my Birthday and Christmas time so since she died,nearly 10 years ago, I have bought myself a special present on those days and pretend it's from her.
This Christmas she gave me a lovely heated fur throw and today I'm snuggled up on the sofa with it wrapped around me and it reminds me of her.
Do you have any special things you do to remind you of past loved ones?

Chipharris Fri 31-Jan-20 08:35:15

Annodomino I too have my late moms wooden spoon. I’ve used it for over 30 years. It’s bent to one side but strangely it fits into my hand perfectly?

Chipharris Fri 31-Jan-20 08:29:05

Dec46 I think you idea of buying something special for yourself on your birthdays/Christmas and imagining it’s from your mom is a lovely idea. Especially a heated throw. What lovelier way of remembering someone so dear to you than to feel her giving you a virtual hug each time you use it. Brought a tear to my eye ?

Magrithea Thu 30-Jan-20 17:36:03

I have my grandma's engagement ring - a gold band with 3 small sapphires set in as the centre of flowers with the central one having seed pearl 'petals'. It's hallmarked for Birmingham 1912 so it was someone else's before it came to her. I wear it every day!

AllotmentLil Wed 29-Jan-20 23:25:41

I’ve loved this thread so thankyou Dec46. I’ve remembered more things that I just take for granted now like “the black scissors” - how often the cry would go up, “who’s got the black scissors?”, they were never where they should have been!
I also love the idea of buying flowers from my mother (she gave me many things but never flowers) and will do that now in memory of her. She would have been 100 this year.
Thanks to all who have posted and flowers for Stansgran.

Jangran99 Wed 29-Jan-20 22:40:59

Thank you GrannyLaine, and your lovely saying echoes the sentiments of all our posts.?

GrannyLaine Wed 29-Jan-20 22:23:49

Jangran99 what a lovely idea. Your granddaughters are very lucky. flowers

GrannyLaine Wed 29-Jan-20 22:21:20

What a lovely poignant thread. Whenever we went out together, Mum often wanted to buy me something to remember the day and now I realise why. It is such a comfort and brings back those happy memories.

'You are gone but thank you for all these soft sweet things you have left behind, in my head, in my heart, in my home'

I miss her so very much.

Jangran99 Wed 29-Jan-20 22:17:12

My own wedding ring was hurting my finger and could not be removed. It was the year of our Golden wedding. I had the ring cut off(agony!) then melted down with my Mum’s ,my husband’s Mum’s and my Gran’s wedding rings. The gold made 2 rings in the profile of my mother’s. Now both my grand-daughters will inherit a ring each containing the gold from 1 Gran, 2 Great Grans and a Great Great Gran. I hope they love them as much as I do.

PauliLenney Wed 29-Jan-20 21:27:37

Maybe this is a time when we should reflect upon what we are going to leave behind to our loved ones. In a time where everything seems to be disposable, it is possible that we might not leave these lovely small but wonderful things behind ...

dragonfly46 Wed 29-Jan-20 20:03:34

I have all my mum’ handwritten recipe books. She is still alive but has dementia!

Harris27 Wed 29-Jan-20 19:59:26

I have my mams Be- ro book and some of her own recipes she wrote in the back. Just seeing her handwriting reminds me of her. I have my mil,s trolley coin as I had used this ever since I took her shopping on my Saturday morning off. It has her name on it she was formidable but I do miss her.

Hetty58 Wed 29-Jan-20 19:43:19

No, I've never wanted things to remind me of people. I remember them very well anyway. I wouldn't want stuff they once owned so made an effort to pass it on to others via charity shops. I do have a heated 'fur' throw, though. It was a present and I really love it in this weather!

Shizam Wed 29-Jan-20 19:35:39

That’s a lovely idea to buy yourself a gift as if from your mum. My mother died when I was a child, I still feel the pain of the loss. I’m in a group who also lost their mums as children. I will suggest this idea to them. I also have almost nothing of hers, including photographs, thanks to a weird sibling. So love this idea. Thank you!

V3ra Wed 29-Jan-20 18:08:30

I have my Mum's workbox table. I have happy memories of rummaging through the buttons and threads in it when I was a child. There's a needle book and pincushion as well which I don't recognise, but can only be my Grandma's.
I also have my Mum's last bottle of perfume and use it on special occasions, but not if Dad will be there as I think that might be a bit tactless.

seacliff Wed 29-Jan-20 17:33:19

What a lovely post, it's made me a bit tearful too, in a good way.

Among other things I have a Christmas ornament I get out every Christmas. It's a little wooden rustic house with snow on the roof and a robin, which I bought my Mum when I was a teenager. She loved it so much she had it on show all year round, for all those years.

I also have my Dads check tweed flat cap, and his hooked walking stick he used for blackberrying.

I have a little notebook where Dad wrote about all the books he'd read that year, with acronym along side, eg VG, NBG. I am working my way through them. He'd be happy about that.

willa45 Wed 29-Jan-20 17:00:15

A close friend died recently and her Memorial service was held in our old church; the same one where my grandparents and parents were married, where my mother and two uncles were baptized and where I was also baptized and received First Holy Communion. I hadn't been to the place where I grew up or visited our old Church in over fifty years.

It seemed a lot smaller than I recalled but for the most part, unchanged.....then I noticed the row of pews where my mother and I usually sat for Sunday mass and it brought me to tears.

Dec46 Wed 29-Jan-20 16:38:01

Dear Stansgran sorry you are feeling upset. I really meant this to be an uplifting post so we can remember the good times we've had in life and how we've loved and been loved in return.
I think our departed loved ones would be delighted to know how much their memories have lived on.
I always tell friends what my Mum "buys" me on special occasions and also say it's amazing how she always knows just what I want.It amuses them and would have amused Mum too.

Stansgran Wed 29-Jan-20 16:02:00

Feeling rather low today and this thread made me cry. I gave my DM's 'best'jewellery to my daughters but I don't think they wear it- heavy gold chain bracelets and the rest I sold when my brother was ill and needed stem cells . I had to pay for travel etc and really didn't feel I could use family funds at the time. I do still have her mother's wedding ring which I'm wondering whether to offer her only grandson who she never met for using when he gets married. I do have mum's dressmaking shears which I use all the time and black and white Japanese bowl which she loved and which I keep full of lavender.
Goodness aren't we a sentimental lot.

Nanny41 Wed 29-Jan-20 15:05:05

I have a lovely cut glass vase which was a Wedding present to my parents,I fill it with daffodils each spring as Mum always had it filled with flowers from spring onwards.I love to think of them especially when I have my vase with daffodils,Mums and my favourite flowers.

T0mlin Wed 29-Jan-20 14:57:06

I have a christmas cactus that was my Mum's. She died 15 years ago so frankly just having it is a miracle as I am not at all green fingered, but the truly wonderful spectacle of pink blossom it makes each year actually on her birthday in November brings her close.

Diggingdoris Wed 29-Jan-20 14:29:16

I have lots mum's jewellery that I wear almost every day, so she's always with me. I also keep a posy of flowers next to my parents wedding photo especially this time of year with her favourite daffodils and some catkins that I picked from a hedgerow this morning. I have an RAF wings broach that I wear on special occasions and on dad's birthday.
My godmother who helped bring me up was green fingered like me and I have numerous garden plants that she grew from cuttings. If ever we move I would have to take those with me or get a cutting growing from one to keep her close to me.

Hattiehelga Wed 29-Jan-20 14:18:56

I have various kitchen items that I use regularly that were Mum's and various glassware. I had her engagement ring made into a pendant and had my birthstone added. I always wear it for family occasions and think she is joining us. She died in 1989 and is buried back in her homeland in Snowdonia. Ever since, my DH has tidied her grave at least twice a year on our visits from Brum. I am forever grateful to him.

HettyMaud Wed 29-Jan-20 13:37:43

Only a couple of years ago I found out where my wonderful grandparents were married. It is a beautiful country church. Since then my DH and I have been to some services there. It touches me deeply to think of Gran and Granddad walking up the aisle on a December day just before Christmas 1924 and being happy together.

LuckyFour Wed 29-Jan-20 13:34:59

I have a few things of mum's, but my most precious is her rolling pin. It's well used and a bit battered but she made the best cakes and Eccles cakes in the world using that very rolling pin. My DH always says mum could go into the kitchen to put the kettle on and come out with tea and
a plate of hot Eccles cakes. Magic.

Calendargirl Wed 29-Jan-20 13:27:56

Reading through all these has made me cry! You realise it’s not big, expensive things that matter, but little long ago memories.
One thing that always reminds me of my mum is when I use nutmeg. The smell so reminds me of when I was little. She would make an egg custard with grated nutmeg on top, I didn’t like pastry, so she did me a special one in an old cup, just custard and nutmeg. My sister said I was spoilt!