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My Mam

(114 Posts)
Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 18:31:58

Hello,

I dont know if you 'knew' my mam, I know she posted here occasionally.

Her name was Ella Keat (i think).

She had cancer and was struggling a bit because someone on here knew who she was and spread private information to the whole village.

My mam died yesterday.

I cannot believe I am saying that. I am sitting in her house, her home and saying she has gone. So quickly.
I dont know how much she was on here. I know she read a lot, but I dont know if she was one of you, if you know what I mean,
My mam was amazing. I will never be the woman she was. She died before she ebven made her sixties. She fostered dozens of children, a multitude of donkeys, goats and llamas (!), and worked tirelessly with both a foodbank and homeless charity.

She is irreplaceable.

I really do not know if you knew her, but I do knownthat she 'knew' you, somthought I would report in.

I cannot tell you how much she will be missed.

Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 20:52:51

Thanks to everyone, I will leave it here and pop back in ten years time, or so?
I just wanted to let you know about mam, becuase although i dont think she posted very much, I know she was a voracious reader of both Gransnet and Mumsnet and got a lot from both.

Thank you for any advice and support you ever gave her, and best wishes for your futures.

Fennel Sat 01-Feb-20 20:49:43

Vicbar - I remember her too. She added a lot to this forum.
You and your family obviously loved, and still love her so much.
What more can you ask from a family?

Buffybee Sat 01-Feb-20 20:44:41

I'm sure she will Vicbar, she had a great sense of humour.
You and your Daughter will have to keep all of these wonderful memories of her alive.
What a brilliant woman!

Pudding123 Sat 01-Feb-20 20:43:00

I loved reading your mum's posts ,she was a remarkable woman.I feel sad and feel how unfair life seems sometimes but perhaps she has gone to a lovely place where all animals and children are cared for,may you find peace.

Bellanonna Sat 01-Feb-20 20:42:05

Oh, Vicbar, I’m so sad for you. I read your Mum’s last contributions very recently. Such a pity she had to deregister because of some local gossiping.
It was good of you to let us know the sad news of her death and I send you heartfelt condolences.

M0nica Sat 01-Feb-20 20:39:41

Vicbar, your lovely mam produced a lovely child. It is wonderful to read such a heartfelt tribute by a childto their mother.

It must be so difficult, in this time when it is still difficult to believe that the worst has happened, when each morning you are probably waking and hoping it is a dream, to make the time and effort to contact us all on GN to let us know what has happened. You are a chip off the old block. Your mam would be proud of you

My deepest sympathies flowers

Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 20:31:56

Jane10 - yes! That is her!

My daughter tells me that gran promised to come back as a ghost for that holiday! I am having to scrape my 4 year old off the floor at the moment. Her gran was her life.
She stayed with her from Friday to Sunday lunchtime every week. Always on the beach, mucking out rabbit hutches, or feeding the brood of animals, my daughter never had a brush put through her hair, was mucky from head to toe and ate far too many Jaffa Cakes.
My 4 year old can help make bread from scratch and can actually make, and butter, toast, cutting it into triangles, all because my mam trusted her to do it (I am still struggling with that)!
According to my daughter my mam will be wearing a purple dress, a red hat and saying 'woooo' when we go on holiday....

lavenderzen Sat 01-Feb-20 20:26:26

Dear Vicbar you have written a beautiful tribute to your Mam, thank you for letting us know.

My love and support to you as you come to terms with your loss xx flowers

Jane10 Sat 01-Feb-20 20:18:52

I'm so sorry to hear that EllaKeat has died. I hadn't realised that she'd deregistered but remember her posting about booking a large house for a family holiday. I hope you go ahead with the holiday and think of her, perhaps toasting a wonderful person.

Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 20:15:22

I cant find any posts with pictures, or telling of her cancer, maybe for the best, I suppose.

I must admit to having an itch I cannot scratch. I know something was not right in the couple of weeks before she died. Particularly when yhey came back off holidays. I suppose I wanted to know what was wrong, but perhaps I need to stop digging,

But something was wrong, even though she would not admit it!

God, I miss her.

Doodle Sat 01-Feb-20 20:12:00

Vicbar I can tell from your posts that you loved your mother very much. She sounded a wonderful person. Very special and caring to all. People like her are few and far between. I am sure she felt proud to be your mum too and she must have been aware of your great love for her. Thank you for letting us know about your sad loss. My sincere condolences to you flowers

Callistemon Sat 01-Feb-20 20:07:54

Hello Vicbar
I am so sorry to hear about your mum; her posts were so inspiring and I loved the pictures of her donkeys.
She was far too young to go but packed more into her life than so many people. You will always remember her with such love and she will always be with you.

Thank you for letting us know.

Condolences to you and your family
flowers

Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 20:06:39

Oh Lord, did she really put pictures of the donkeys on here ? Typical mam.
Her 'girls' are full of personality! One of them nipped me today because I was ignoring her, talking to someone else about mam. She kept nudging me, and getting no response gave me a nip, just to let me know she was there?

annsixty Sat 01-Feb-20 20:01:38

What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful person.
You are privileged to have had her for your mum.

Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 19:58:01

Please forgive me for copying a post I also made on Mumsnet, but it encompasses everything.
Do you know, she was incredible.
When I was fifteen I had a friend who was in a very bad place. My mam fostered her. She then fostered a sixteen year old, getting him a home and job, then went 'official', and went on to foster over thirty teenagers. Every single one of them ended up in a home, or place of their own, and with a job to go to. She used to go from 6am until 10pm every day, sorting things out. We never wanted for anything. But she did, because every spare penny she ever had went to kids or animals. My mam spent bugger all on herself.
I can't do what she did. I just do not have that drive. She was incredible.

Whenever we turned up at her house, within an hour, a full meal appeared.
Just like that.
There was always a bed, always food, always love. Never questions, never judgement.
She was only in her late fifties. How bloody unfair is that?

She had just been on a foreign holiday. The first she had had for years, because she spent her money on others, and it was a disaster. She was only home for a few days before died.

Sorry. I am rambling. Just cannot believe she has gone.

jacq10 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:48:12

It is at times like this we think life is not fair when someone like your Mam is taken so young. Thank you so much for taking time to let us know of her passing. You and your family are in my thoughts at this sad time.

BlueBelle Sat 01-Feb-20 19:45:19

Oh that’s made me cry I was talking to her just before she deregistered very very recently about two weeks ago She was funny and kind and loved her donkeys and was it ...llamas ?
Her last post was very very difficult to read, I was trying to private message her but she had withdrawn from GN
She knew she was in the last period of her life but was planning a family get together and I don’t think she thought it was so close
My deepest love to you vicbar
Wrap your memories in cotton wool and keep them all deep within in your heart
Thank you so much for posting and God bless Ella

QuaintIrene Sat 01-Feb-20 19:38:48

My sincere condolences.
I enjoyed hearing about the animals your mum cared for.
I didn’t know she felt unable to post. I can see why, now. How thoughtless.
Thank you for telling us.
Once again, I am so sorry for your loss ?

brook2704 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:34:04

So sorry for you loss - I didn’t know your mam but she sounds like a lovely lady. I’m sure she’ll be missed by many
Sending hugs and ?

kittylester Sat 01-Feb-20 19:34:03

I read some of her post and really enjoyed them. I was sorry she was outed! She sounds wonderful. flowers

Buffybee Sat 01-Feb-20 19:32:53

I read your Mam's threads and posted on them a couple of times.
I was upset and angry when someone on here, recognised her and gossiped around her village.
She posted photos of her Donkeys and Llama and I understood what a lovely person she was. Even more so now you have told us about her fostering and care of animals.
She was a special Lady and will be sadly missed.

Sar53 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:32:25

I'm so sorry for your loss flowersx

Grandmashe43 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:27:04

Your beloved mam will never leave you, she’s only ever a thought away, so very sad fo you.

annsixty Sat 01-Feb-20 19:21:28

Sincere condolences to you and your family.
Your mam (a name I grew up with) was an amazing woman and I know she posted about her illness.
You have much to be proud of and you will always have her in your heart.

Smileless2012 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:15:55

I don't think I knew your mam Vicbar and having read you very moving post, I wish I had.

My sincere condolences for your lossflowers.