My Mam

Vicbar, I remember your Mam posting and saying how well she felt, despite being so ill. Her love and caring for the animals was very therapeutic for her.

She always seemed positive and cheerful. We will all miss her. Sending love and hugs to family.

I've only just come across this thread and I'm so sorry to learn of EllaKeat's death. She was clever and funny and courageous and many of us were saddened when she felt forced to de-register.

However, her spirit clearly will live on in her children and grandchildren. ((Hugs)) and much sympathy to you, VicBar.

RIP Ellakeat xx

vicbar your daughter is young and may one day forget her grandma. Do your best to remind her how much love went in to those precious times together. Your anger is I think understandable. As others have said it’s a form of grief. I have always spent a lot of time with my grandchildren. I love them to bits. Your mum obviously was a very loving and caring person and I think you have inherited that from her. Don’t rush things. You are in shock at the moment.
Please, if you wish, keep posting on here. There are many lovely people who know a bit about grief and loss and they will help you. Take care of yourself and your family and don’t be hard on yourself

VicBar and MaryDoll, my granny died when I was 11. I'm 54 now. I have lovely memories of her, even from when I was younger. Your children/grandchildren will remember.

Hello Vicbar it is only natural to feel anger, it is part of the grieving process, but it will fade. Your dear Mam tried to put everything in order for you knowing she would not always be with you.

Much love to you all xx

Vicbar, as Curlywhirly says, anger is part of the grieving process, you may not think so just now, but things will get better.
You would be even angrier if your mam hadn't spent that precious time with your wee daughter, what an amazing legacy she has left her.

I know exactly where your mam was coming from. I too have a four year old granddaughter, whom I know I probably will not see grow up.
With that in mind, I try my hardest to show her how much I love and cherish her and give her precious memories, she will remember for the rest of her life. Your mam has done that too and your wee daughter will always have those memories.

All I remember of my Irish granny, is a scary, severe woman, who terrified the life out of me!

Vicbar, you have every right to be angry, your lovely Mam has been taken from you and she was so young, it's just not blummin' fair. Anger is a completely normal part of the grieving process. Grieving has many stages, and anger is just one of them; you won't always feel this way. Take care and many thanks for taking the time to post on GN. I also have bought a bunch of daffs in memory and celebration of your lovely Mam's life. xxx

Or dads.
Actually, will always be mams.
Anyway, landed here half an hour ago to sort stuff out.

My daughter and hustband with me, but mam had very specific instructions and arrangements i am struggling with... blooming woman!

Dad is broken. Just sits there, saying and doing nothing.

My daughter is having the rest of the week off nursery, I am off till next Monday, my husband needs to be back on Wednesday, so hopefully everything will be sorted by the end of the week.

Sorry, that post was done severql hours apart...... I got to mams at 5:30ish!

I am home.

My daughter is distraught. My mam had her every weekend and took her to a theatre group every Saturday. They then 'baked'. Mams stuff was great, my daughters stuff, not so much, but we all felt obliged to eat it?
They then went and took care of the animals.

What the hell do I do or say?

I am almost angry at her for setting us up to fail.
I know she did not do that, but it just feels that way.

Back at... well, I suppose, dads for a couple of days to sort out the funeral etc., my daughter has come with me. My brother and his children arriving tomorrow.

I am a bit angry right now, but dont habe the words to verbalise, so back latet to whinge?

I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother sounded like a wonderful woman ?

Let me add my condolences to the heartfelt love from your mam’s many, many GN friends. She will be remembered long and fondly here.

You are clearly your mother’s daughter, it is so kind of you to think of updating us, in the midst of your grief.

Your mam is at peace now. I will place some daffodils in my window today and think of her, as I do so, (this is becoming a GN tradition and I am sure others will do so too).

With sincere regards ?

My heartfelt condolences vicbar you seem SO like you mum - I can ‘feel’ your loving personality.

As the saying goes ‘the Apple does not fall far from the Tree’.
Very true in your case.

Take care.
?

I have only just found this thread.
My condolences Vicbar I always enjoyed reading your mam's posts. I am very moved by your lovely post, you are clearly your mother's daughter.
My Mam died when I was 29, our son was two and a half, she doted on him. Sadly she didn't get to meet her dgd who resembles her so much.
You have so many joyous memories, revel in them and may they sustain you in your loss. ?

Big hugs Vicbar, I am sorry to read your sad news. I remember your Mum's posts and thought she seemed a lovely person. Remember to be kind to yourself xx

Your mam was a lovely lady Vicbar and as Marydoll says she is at peace now. God bless all of you . Safe journey.

Have a safe journey Vicbar, your mam is at peace now and I hope you too can find peace.

Just wanted to thank you all for being here!
I am off home today, so real life will be taking over again - thank you all for your kind words, they have helped me enormously over the past few days.
Take care everyone.

Mam is such a lovely 'comfy' sort of word. It conjures up a warm smiley woman beloved by her children. We now know that she extended that caring to many children who needed a 'Mam'. What a very special lady she was.

My Mam died before I finished Uni but I can assure you that in time you will remember her smiles most of all. They are the memories which will stay with you for ever.

I remember your Mam saying she was off to see her donkeys. She got great pleasure from caring for them and she loved them so. Her work with children and young people is an astonishing achievement and you are justifiably proud of her - your Mam. xx

Vicbar, loved the story about the bbq, and all those children that your Mam had fostered turning up, she must have been so chuffed! What a lady.

I'm so pleased that some of the other GN ladies have been able to give you some information regarding your Mam's posts and messages and hopefully, have helped to answer some of your questions. Take care

Vicbar I have just read your lovely post on the thread about Luckygirls sad loss. To be able to think of others whilst going through your own grief I think is a clear sign that you are your mother’s daughter and her caring nature has been passed onto you.
I do remember your mum saying in one of her posts that she had had a really lovely Christmas. Take heart from that and remember her in happier times. None of us know exactly how we will react at the end but I’m sure she would want you not to worry but concentrate on happier times. When I lost my brother, for a while I could only picture his last few days when he wasn’t himself at all. Now I remember him as he was and his humour and fun and wonderful storytelling. Take care

Apologies for my typos!

My brother and husband assured me a stiff brandy would be in order........'?

Callistemon - thank you so much

Sod off the lot of you, would have been her mantra

I can hear her now - but so pleased she had nothing unpleasant to contemplate!

I am still sure that something upset her on her much needed and deserved holiday, but I giess I will never know.
Perhaps she was just nearing the end of her life and knew it.

But something changed and she did not die the happy, carefree mam I alwways knew.
And that will stay with me.

Perhaps no one dies the way they intend, I dont know. I just always envisaged a different end for her.

Dear Vicbar I just wanted to add my thoughts to the above. Your Mam was very special and I used to love reading her posts about the animals, I had horses all my life and I could identify with her love for her animals and how she enjoyed her time with them. She was a very brave lady, who was determined to live her life to the full. You have told us some wonderful things about what your Mam has done, she was very special.

You are a "chip off the old block" and she would be so proud of you and your lovely daughter, she used to talk about you both and was proud of you.

She was poorly at the end, but determined to carry on regardless, without worrying anyone.

You had a wonderful Mam who will always be with you.

My love xxx