Seven years of therapy?

I don't know if this helps you, OP,, but I can top Harry in the therapy stakes. Sexual, emotional, physical abuse and neglect and attempt not to transfer to the next generation, means pretty much a life time of support, which I pay for. Don't regret a penny.

No, you are not going over the same things. A registered counsellor, is a person with integrity who supports you to grow.

I went to counselling to help me move on from the shock and fear of very serious life threatening illness. After @ 9 months I felt ready to move on and brought it to an end. However we are all different with different experiences and responses. 7 years seems a long time though; maybe a different type is needed or something

It depends whether the 7 years is helping or not (a previous post suggested it was about a specific situation that wasn’t in which case yes a change of therapeutic approach may help).

A lot of jobs require you to have regular supervision where you reflect on responses to things and how they made you feel & discuss issues. Some counselling can be of that sort of thing just at a personal level and tbh there’s not necessarily ever going to be a reason to stop doing that if it’s helpful.

When Freud first started the idea of psychoanalysis it provided a longterm support system.
Maybe because it was thought that some problems lead to permanent damage, not susceptible to 'cure'.
Perhaps like Greymar's example.
Other types of psychological problems are less destructive, and can be helped by more short-term types of therapy.
We take an american weekly magazine and I've noticed they're much more into therapies for all ages and all sorts of problems than here in the UK
It's a thriving business there.

If I have a problem I prefer to talk to my counsellor rather than burden friends or family. Also some problems you don't want to share with someone close.
She is happy to have one off sessions or a few, and will suggest stopping if she thinks I am ready. I love having a counsellor to turn to, especially since my mum died.
I consider myself lucky that I can afford it.
It was invaluable to my AC too when the marriage ended. Unfortunately very costly (full year ) on top of divorce. Pity the NHS couldn't help.

Thanks Greymar, it's good to hear you have the wherewithal to continue to get the support that helps you grow. Good therapy does exactly that.

The 'counsellor' who wept and told her client her story was the worst she ever hear sounds like someone who should never be allowed to practice. I question her qualifications and supervision. Makes me so angry when someone gets up the courage to engage in therapy, only to find themselves with someone who isn't competent.

I agree Iam - weeping and saying that sounds completely unprofessional & inappropriate.

I so agree Iam ,

I have had counselling and tried therapy over a period of 5years to overcome the effects of a long period of distress/trauma in the past. I tried different ways of getting help and support.
It seemed it was just me repeating my story and I couldn't move on whilst my private life was in a mess. I wanted support and to be heard, guidance and encouragement.

I did move on in time, though mostly due to my own efforts, lots of reading and research, leaving behind certain family members who were critical, judgmental and cruelly ignorant and realising even in the mental health services no one really cares [I failed to find guidance, advice and encouragement I craved so I gave up]. I am cynical about mental health care professionals I'm afraid due to what I saw and heard. Long story.

I ceased taking anti depressants, circumstances changed, I reframed events of the past, people came into my life and helped me heal.

7 years in therapy to me would indicate being stuck for whatever reason. I have seen people who want to be stuck though. It suits them.

greymar Well said!

Bluebird, that sounds familiar. I used to live next door to a MH professional who explained that, for some people, a problem is needed. Therefore, if they overcome one, they'll often soon develop another!

Hetty58/Bluebird - your comments reminded me of Woody Allen. I confess to never having been a fan and being even less enamoured after he began a relationship with a 17 year old he'd been step father to during her developmental years.
He's evidently been in therapy throughout his adult life. Not improved him has it? I suspect he loves having someone sit and listen to him going on......

Never had it or felt the need. However I know it can be a great help. It certainly helped a friend when she was devastated after revelations about someone very close who’d not long died.

She felt quite unable to tell the vast majority of people she knew, especially since the person had been so generally well liked, so offloading to an unconnected, neutral counsellor helped her a great deal.

7 years, though? Does seem extreme, but maybe some people need it, or else become addicted to it, and the therapist isn’t in any hurry to stop the fees coming in.

Hetty58 and Iam64
I know of those who choose to stay victims, enjoy the attention, create crises and do not wish to function in society ie. go to work, due to their mental health problems. They are adept at using the system. I suppose that is enough to say that is mental illness in itself.

However I desperately wanted to deal with my problems, recover, improve my situation and function well. In reporting my abuse however it was me who ended up labelled! Incorrectly labelled as I later proved... which caused me distress and more problems! That delayed my recovery.

It probably wouldn't happen today but with services stretched as far as they are nowadays I fear many, many people will not get the help they need or in time. I doubt if the NHS can offer anyone 7 years of therapy, otherwise it is going to be very lucrative for private therapists to prolong treatments of course.

There are so many styles/types of counselling and the personality of the Counsellor is important to the process too. Don’t think your first experience of counselling is like all counsellors. A person centred Counsellor eventually worked for me.

Ethics wouldn’t allow a counsellor to continue with a client if it were just about the money blubirdwsm. The counsellors supervisor would call them out on it.

Sorry you had such a bad response bluebird. I think it’s one step forward three back often, in investigations and treatments sadly. The austerity era left specialist teams devastated along with nhs support Services vanishingly rare.

Responsible private therapists don’t prolong therapy to make money. Seven years in therapy isn’t likelt to mean weekly sessions of fifty mins, more likely that for the initial period, the longer gaps, or breaks till the client feels either a crisis coming, or strong enough to revisit or start work on an issue that was just too hard first time round.

Some diagnosis, BPD is one example, warrant longer term involvement to manage the highs and lows.

There are a lot of occupations where Councelling comes as part of the requirements of employment,to help workers whos lives and mental health can be seriously be damaged by what they have to deal with on a day to day basis. For them, the councelling continues for many years whilever they are following that occupation,and is attendance is not optional.
This includes our emergency service workers, armed forces, prison services, and various NHS staff to name but a few. In my last job, monthly counclling sessions were included in our proffesional supervision and development plan, to help staff deal with stress within the workplace which was a mental health rehabilitation project owned and lead by a large London based charity and suported by Social services and the local County council comunity health teams. All staff were either nurse trained or qualified social workers, we were also registered with the home office for rehabilitation of offenders back into the community after a long prison term. We also provided a basic level of councelling ourselves as keyworkers to our clients, and did inservice courses to help us develop our skills and move on to use more advanced forms of councelling for our clients. It could be quite challenging at times, even dangerous work with staff recieving injuries, and some staff left and moved on to other jobs a lot sooner than 7years, but it could equilly be rewarding, seeing people recover and move on in their lives, and we sometimes had romances blossoming between clients, and even a wedding and a new baby further down the line for one couple who met and married whilst they were both clients there, so it obviously did work for some, and we were quite proud of that fact.
Councelling is still available on the NHS, and is free, the best person to help with aranging this is your GP,they will know what is available locally, and how best for you to get an appointment for initial assesment and forward planning of your care.

Not for me I’m afraid. Everyone deals with life in different ways so I accept this is just my personal view. My philosophy is leave the bits on the floor and move on.

I entirely agree * Kamiso* (Sat 08-Feb-20 18:33:32)
Talking to friends is totally different to talking to a skilled therapist. Friends may well want to empathise by telling your their problems, offer their own opinions and suggest what actions to take rather than giving you the opportunity to work things out for yourself
It seems to me this is so often what happens here on GN.
With apparently the best intentions there is often some bonkers advice, (LTB, go NC), over- inflation of the problem (NPD, toxic personality) and time after time, their own problems and or solutions which may or may not bear any relation to OP.
So, no, friends are not an alternative to counselling or to therapy.
Good friends are a joy to have but not trained counsellors.

A decent counsellor is bound by a strict code and must behave at all times in an ethical manner. I have never seen one who strings me along, trying to get money or allows me to 'wallow' or repeat too often.

I would have absolutely no interest in talking to a therapist-a stranger- who really would have no real idea about any problems I may have. Solving your own problems by coming up with your own solutions is what makes you more resilient to overcoming the next one, in my opinion. We are not a nation of shopkeepers any more, as Napoleon once said, we are a nation of snowflakes.

Don’t be ridiculous quizqueen

Registered counsellors complete a long training, are bound by a strict code of conduct and are expected to be supervised by a senior counsellor. They help people see past their blind spots, we all have them, it's hard to see them on our own and I would guess the estrangement threads are full of people who think they know all there is to know about themselves and others. I think sound academic research can prove them wrong.

Thank you all for your differing opinions, it’s been most interesting to read them. I found the point about catholic confession most thought provoking.