Gransnet forums

Chat

Is revenge sweet?

(170 Posts)
vampirequeen Mon 10-Feb-20 10:10:26

Have you ever taken revenge on someone? Do you know someone who had? Did it make you/them feel better?

My sister was comfortable in her life when she met her husband. She had a nice house with a mortgage that she could afford and a good job. During their time together they bought a much bigger house with a much bigger mortgage (he worked in banking) and she left work when they had a baby. She hadn't been sure about leaving work but he earned a lot of money and they could afford for her to be a stay at home mam. Sadly, what she didn't know was that he had a mistress. He wanted to have his cake and eat it. At first she was in a panic but then decided that enough was enough. OK so she had baby and a mortgage that she couldn't afford but houses could be sold and tbh she didn't like living in such a huge place. He made her life a total misery. How dare she kick him out etc. etc.? He withheld maintenance payments and generally messed about as much as he could. She struggled but he was still buying expensive clothes and accessories. He demanded his clothes etc. back but kept changing when he was going to collect them. So she carefully folded each item including Armani suits and packed them into black bin liners. Then in the middle of bag she put a pair of wet socks and stored them in the garage. Six months later he finally came for his stuff. The bags must have been so mouldy by then. Was revenge sweet for her? Well she admitted to feeling a sense of satisfaction because if he'd come when he first insisted that she pack his stuff ready for him it would have been OK but he'd kept making arrangements so that she would stay in then cancelling at the last minute. The socks were dry by the time he came so he assumed it was because the bags were in the garage.

Bluebird64 Tue 11-Feb-20 09:56:57

This is an interesting topic! In a previous job in retail, my boss came close to accusing me of theft (in the end I left the job). But before I left, I thought: If he thinks I'm stealing, then I might as well! So I put a packet of cigarettes in my pocket (I smoked back then). But then I thought: if I steal these fags, that makes ME a THIEF! Why should I let that so-and-so compromise my integrity? So I put the cigarettes back, and my integrity remained intact. I have come to realise that revenge is really a victim behaviour, and that you triumph best when you shrug your shoulders and walk away.

grannytotwins Tue 11-Feb-20 09:56:02

My ex cheated on me which made the national press. We had been a big news story the year before. I went on Kilroy and told my story. He was livid and revenge was so sweet. The lady who delivered her husband’s wine collection to the neighbours was on the programme too. I’ll never regret it and I was invited back on more episodes which was a lot of fun.

EthelJ Tue 11-Feb-20 09:54:48

* another thread where it is only men who ever cheat in any personal relationship.*
This is a strange comment grandad1943 people are just commenting on their own experiences that is what Gransnet is for. Noone is or has ever impllied that all women are always perfect or that all men are always at fault!
Anyone is at liberty to start a thread.

MadeInYorkshire Tue 11-Feb-20 09:54:30

Sorry Hetty58!

MadeInYorkshire Tue 11-Feb-20 09:51:46

Oooh Hetty56 - nice one! lol

Youcantchoosethem Tue 11-Feb-20 09:49:55

Love some of these stories! When I was getting divorced I realised my ex had taken about £27000 out of his pensions and it had “disappeared”. The court judge wasn’t interested and said that I should just be happy it was over and move on. Ex insisted on a clean break so I couldn’t get any recourse. Anyway, I did get half of the left over pension less his half of mine - so not a great deal. Because my work pension doesn’t accept any other payments into it I had to find a private pension to transfer this little bit into. The financial advisor who helped me said she would do a search in case I had any other old pensions - I said no I am sure I don’t. Then she found a pension I had taken out when I was 17 and had forgotten all about (when serps was all happening?) and it was now worth £42000! I then felt guilty I hadn’t disclosed it in the divorce and went back to the court office - they said it’s a clean break, nothing happening, it’s all yours! Couldn’t help but smile at the karma!

Callistemon Tue 11-Feb-20 09:49:05

I have had some revenge fantasies, which have been delightful, but never carried them out.

Causing someone pain and distress- yes, in my fantasy, if they truly deserved it. But he died anyway so I remembered the saying "Vengeance is mine saith The Lord".

However, one or two of the others mentioned above such as the damp socks in the bag of clothes, the grass seed, the pudding at the supermarket - well I may be perverse but I find them funny.

Others which are cruel I find not at all amusing.

EthelJ Tue 11-Feb-20 09:46:19

I can't be bothered with revenge. Best to just ride it out and move on, in my opinion.
I agree, I think it's best to just ignore such people and rise above their level. My DH would always want to get revenge but I don't see the point it rarely makes things better and trying to get revenge cant just make you feel worse.

Grandad1943 Tue 11-Feb-20 09:03:21

BradfordLass73 Quote [Mind you, fantasising is another thing entirely......grin] End Quote.

Brafordlass73, yes I agree, fantasising in the very early hours of the morning does no harm to anyone. However, when you place such imaginations to print that can look rather silly in the cold sober light of day. ?

Anyway I am off to the sobriety of the world of work where sadly there can be only reality. ?

Nannylovesshopping Tue 11-Feb-20 08:29:31

Hetty58 impressive plumbing skills, respect ?

yggdrasil Tue 11-Feb-20 08:21:49

Grandad1943:
A (male) friend of mine has always said 'Revenge is a dish better served cold' .
By which time the perpetrator is thinking he/she has got away with it.

BradfordLass73 Tue 11-Feb-20 03:00:27

I tend to think that people who are so awful as to cause such unhappiness in others, will one day get their come-uppance without my help.

I agree with paddyanne and couldn't live with myself if I lost my moral compass to the extent I deliberately planned the downfall or pain of someone who had wronged me (and over my life, many people have and badly).

I think better of myself than to sink so low. I don't care if that sounds pompous, it's how I feel.

Mind you, fantasising is another thing entirely......grin

Hetty58 Tue 11-Feb-20 00:31:04

Well, it was a very long time ago. My (then) fiance was going on a 'work trip' but I was suspicious as he behaved somewhat strangely/secretively about it.

He went off by tube to the mainline station. I followed, by cab, well disguised. There I saw him and my 'friend' (or so I thought) board the train.

He returned to find his ceilings down, plaster blown, house flooded out, furniture ruined - such a shame!

Hetty58 Tue 11-Feb-20 00:13:49

I can't say too much - except that I know how to do (and undo) plumbing!

notanan2 Tue 11-Feb-20 00:10:38

Hetty please give us a little more than that ?

Hetty58 Tue 11-Feb-20 00:02:49

Is revenge sweet? It really can be, especially if the recipient has no idea that you were involved - and you can witness their reaction!

phoenix Mon 10-Feb-20 23:26:54

.

Grandad1943 Mon 10-Feb-20 22:49:20

Well Phoenix, if you cannot be bothered to reply to me, it begs the question of why you raised the non-issue of supposed misandry in my posts in this thread in the first instance.

Perhaps such things are all in the mind of some.

phoenix Mon 10-Feb-20 22:34:17

Grandad1943 apart from this post, I really can't be bothered to reply to you, you keep singing the same old tune, just occasionally do you slightly change the lyrics.

notanan2 Mon 10-Feb-20 22:32:29

Oh Grandad what WOULD we do without you here to tell us of the errors of our ways.....hmm

geekesse Mon 10-Feb-20 22:05:41

Revenge is really a mishandled desire for some kind of justice for a perceived wrong. I prefer to climb painfully up on to the moral high ground and wait it out.

Grandad1943 Mon 10-Feb-20 21:35:43

Apologies for the text errors in my above post, I did not realize that my Grammarly app was not online and checking for errors.

Grandad1943 Mon 10-Feb-20 21:24:31

Phoenix, please point out to me where I have spoken of misandry in this thread. I have however spoken on the stupid acts of revenge that numerous posts in this thread have given insight into that have been carried out by women against male partners or ex-partners. Those post gained the assumption that the women in carrying out such acts where always blameless of any responsibility for the problems or breakup of those relstionships.

Also in the above, none of the posts made describing such acts spoke on the harm such actions may cause to the children of those involved in such relationship breakups who may often love both parents.

Therefore Phoenix I cannot conceive of the misandry you speak of being in anyway contained within any of my posts in this thread.

phoenix Mon 10-Feb-20 20:48:01

Grandad1943 you really seem to look for every opportunity to play the sexist/misandry card.

One could switch the genders on any of these posts and they would still be shocking, amusing, whatever.

MissAdventure Mon 10-Feb-20 20:35:39

I know of a man who took a chain saw and cut everything in the home in half, because he was angry that his soon to be ex had been awarded half of everything.