Secrets

driverann. You have wisely brought up the ethical matter surrounding secrets. I said if someone asked me not to tell anyone something, even when I was a child I would not. But I do remember at around 10 years old saying to, of all people, my Primary School Headmaster, when something happened and he said jokingly "Let that be our little secret." that I would decide whether a secret was the sort I should keep or whether it was something I needed to tell my Dad! Now we teach our children about the wrong kinds of secrets. The evils of Savile will leave such a terrible stain on our history. You are so right - many people were keeping secrets for him, at a very high level and the evil that ensued ruined so many lives. It was truly loathsome. But I found him disgusting when he first appeared, with his cigar and awful hair and all that "jingle jangle" jewellery. I would not have wanted to go near him.

My guilty secret is that my mum bought me a gold chain for my 21st birthday and as I had alcohol issues I sold it for beer money. Even though I’m 61 and tea total since 2002, my dishonesty haunts me. Said I’d lost it

faye17. I wanted to say exactly what you said, if you want to keep a secret tell no-one. But your story is so salutary! You wonderful brave girl! I am so glad you are well now and your lovely son too! ?

janeayressister How terribly sad! I could cry for you. It is so lonely to have terrible secret. By deciding that it cannot ever become knowledge to others makes you both lonely but also strong. Hold on to your strength. Look at the good things in your life and say these are what is real about me, ok so I know something painful and can never tell anyone, but it's not what my life is about. You still get up each day and live your own life. Try and put what you know to bed and not let it come into your daily life. Bless you, love, I do know the pain of a terrible secret, but please do not let it hurt you. ??

I would have done the same thing, Nortsat.

Yes. All my life from childhood if someone said don't tell anyone else I didn't. I also worked in a field where confidentiality was part of my work. I have never divulged a confidence and fortunately have never been in the situation where it would be necessary to do so e.g. if I learned that the person themselves or any other person's life or welfare was in danger.

I see that people are talking about secrets and situations where they hear others discussing a person's secret. I have had that happen but I just stay out of the conversation, indeed out of the room if it is possible.

Nortsat46 I am sorry about the passing of your sister. I am sorry too that you are left with the lonely knowledge of a matter that is a burden and hard to carry, as many secrets are, and very possibly you would love to be able to share the burden. I hope you will feel that as time goes by the matters concerning the secret become further away and that you can feel it does not weigh on you any more. I would, if it were me, try to resist telling another about it, no matter how much time has passed. People can react so differently to what you might expect and might resent very much that you have known so long. you are strong. You can hold this safely in your heart, your sister trusted you and wherever she is now she still loves you. Stay loyal to her, my dear. Good luck.

I have kept secrets and I would never tell

I am very good at keeping secrets (my mum taught me that trait!), sometimes it can cause me discomfort and some I would rather not know but hey ho I wouldnt tell anyone else.

I have a secret regarding something in my youth. I have sometimes longed to tell but never will. The repercussions of this event, which might seem less than significant to some, have profoundly impacted my life decisions. However I am happy enough and sharing this secret would hurt others so it must go with me when I go.

As regards others, when I was young a friend confided in me that she was having an affair. I worked with her and I was 'her' friend rather than being a couples friend with her husband and mine. I liked her husband very much and thought she was making a big mistake. I told her this at the time but said I would never betray her secret, nor have I. After we stopped working together we used to meet up for a meal in the evening about once a month. She began quite often cancelling me at very short notice and it occurred to me that she might be using me as a cover for her meetups with her lover. When this penny dropped I did tell her in no uncertain terms that while I would never betray her secret she was not to use me in any way as cover. The secret was hers but I was not going to be an active part in her choices under any circumstances whatsoever. She took this on board and although this was more than 30 years ago we are friends to this day.

Oh wow! How interesting!

Hello again MissAdventure. I forgot to add that as I was a private investigator for 30 years or more, that some of the secrets I hold are in regards to my work.

Kissngate. Absolutely not. I was just responding to the original post.

Hello. I have secrets regarding myself, family and other people that have been with me for over 65 years. They could rip people's lives apart, rip families apart, send people over the edge and much more. I have always been someone that others have come to with their problems and secrets and I hold these, never to be revealed. They will go with me to the afterlife. Love to hear your remarks

I have kept someone's secret since 1976 I will never share it as not mine to tell.

Oh poop!
Wrong thread. Sorry.

For men..
Prince, Mick Jagger, and the late but absolutely mesmerising Michael Hutchens.

If I have secrets I would never tell, not interested in hearing others telling me secrets about others as I would feel they would do the same to you. Its like being in the company of someone talking about their friends or acquaintances in negative ways and immediately I’m left wondering what they say behind my back.

Daffydilly - I'm not sure if you are referring to me in your reply but when my work colleague told the three of us in the office she didnt say it was a secret she just wanted to share with us to relieve the stress. Her Mil had told her for the same reason and didnt want to take the secret to the grave.

I have discovered this week that my mother kept a secret from me all my life.I have discovered that I have a sister living in New Zealand.Imsgine my shock when I received the news via a friend of hers who had been helping her to look for me for over thirty years

I have a secret I will take to my grave. Just like GrandmaJan it was an incident that happened 40+ years ago, also when I was a student nurse. I worry about it to this day. Sometimes I wish there was someone I could tell, but I know I never will.

I don't think anyone should keep secrets regarding a paedophile, especially when he is working as a caretaker at a school! Those children would be in great danger ,once a paedophile always a paedophile.

DD has shared two very big secrets with me one her DF knows as well but the other is just between her and I. I would never break that trust and tell anyone and neither would my DH. I have a few secrets from my youth, nothing earth shattering or criminal , but I feel embarrassed by them now as an adult so I would not discuss or disclose them to anyone.

Not sure if I ever knew any secrets. My dear friend says she knows she can tell me anything because I either don't listen or can't remember!

My boss once told me something ‘for your ears only’ so I certainly don’t don’t mention it to my colleague. The secret was eventually out in the open and my colleague and I discovered that he’d told the secret to both of us. If it had been a test of our honesty then we both passed with flying colours!

No, I don't have any deep, dark secrets, and I'm not aware of anyone else's. However, if I were told something in confidence, I would not betray that, ever!
I have a big thing about honesty though, and hate lies. I would rather not have to keep a secret, whomever it belonged to!

A friend who was going back to Australia told me her father molested her when she was a child. She'd gone before I could really respond.