Robbie Williams and surrogacy

No it is not the most cruel thread ever. How ridiculous. It was almost immediately hijacked and turned into something personal. Grounded adults or Grans with adopted GC will see some strongly held views perhaps rather clumsily expressed and carry on with their lives.

Again I agree with you whole heartedly Iam64

Fortunately my parents gave me a good grounding for my life and whilst some of the comments have annoyed me I am most certainly not distressed by them. There are so many of us out there who have had good lives and experienced a happy family environment that otherwise may have been denied to us.

Not that I have any control over who says what, but I am sorry if the discussion has upset and offended. I've been reading up a bit on trauma and as I said it seems to be widening out to include behaviours which were previously seen as pretty standard eg smacking, death of a parent and so on. It's interesting the stuff about the formation of the brain and raised levels of cortisol and so on.

Those who are adopted have been told of the alleged suffering of their birth mother , this is the most cruel thread
we have had on this forum.

There are many posters here who have experience of adoption, some because they have much loved adopted family members, others because they worked with children and families where adoption is part of their daily lives.
I have professional and personal experience. I find the cold, analytical comments that adoption is always damaging both unhelpful and untrue.
Attachment theory does inform psychological, psychiatric, practice as well as work in adoption agencies. Those working in the field recognise that adoption has to be a last resort. Surely it isn't difficult to realise that taking up an oppositional stand to contributors to this thread who have themselves been adopted, or have adopted loved ones in insensitive and unnecessary.

Methinks Mr Williams should be as brave as Mr Schofield.

Not sure there has ever been a baby yet born who gave prior permission for their impending birth. But I’ll wager there are very few who wish they hadn’t been born.

I can't help but feel that this is the next phase in the "too posh to push" thing. A few years ago some women were going for elective cesareans so as to avoid the pain of childbirth and any associated damage to bladder control etc. Now it seems that if they have enough money, but are perfectly capable of having their own babies, they are going down the surrogacy route to avoid the pregnancy entirely. I think it's the latest fad.

I've read this thread with mounting disbelief. Like Lavenderzen further up-thread I can't believe the nastiness and am very tempted to give GN the elbow. So, Sooziewoozie, you may very well hear that door slamming!

I was going to comment especially as I have 5 adopted children plus 3 birth children. I also have DGD born by IVF. But this thread has turned so nasty its not worth bothering with.

?

When we were young he used to take loads of drugs and fetch girls to queue outside his room so he could shag them one by one

If an animal mother neglects her offspring notanan2 the offspring will be given to another animal or hand reared-adopted then!!!

Animal formula is available. Its not just because of that.. ask any vet or breeder

A newborn puppy suckles, can anyone buy a week old puppy
and let the puppy continue to suckle ?

So why arent we allowed to sell newborn puppies/foals then?

Science or not, the words being used are quite demeaning.

It’s not about choosing to be offended, but about my actual experiences.

In the zeal to protect Figurative babies, people are forgetting that there are Actual adopted people here. Who are reading about how you and science think we are traumatised and damaged.

Science might say it, but the words being used here, and the demeaning of people’s feelings is deeply unkind for people who are acting as advocates so others aren’t hurt

And I can relate from experience just how damaging contact with the birth family can be for adopted children. In the case of my grandchild, contact with the birth family caused huge behavioural problems, and huge upset with our grandchild who was asking for reassurance from the adoptive family, that he would always live with them. This caused my son and his partner to stop all visits to the birth family, simply due to the degree of distress that was being experienced by their child. The school reported similar behaviour to them aswell, so it certainly wasn’t their imagination. Our grandchild has no memory of his birth family and being expected to meet up with them caused huge and damaging distress, even though the adoptive parents did everything they could to prepare him. Do not assume that you know what is best for every adopted child, the parents are the best people to judge what is best for their child.

They are doing the same as Elton John and numerous other celebs the difference in this case is the baby is biologically theirs.

The definition of trauma is widening to include some behaviours and situations we previously regarded as bad luck.

No one knows how the children of surrogacy are going to feel when they are older and know how they were conceived. I know of two families that adopted two children each, in both families one if those children sought out their birth mother and reunited. So one of each family accepted and one didn't.

I’m not telling anyone how to feel. But you know. Don’t let science and facts get in the way of being offended.

The surprise suzie is you are able to control that urge

Just comeback to this thread and my goodness what a racket. GN telling others, who have the experience of being adopted how it they should be feeling. Why not just listen to those who have been adopted.

Back to the thread of RW may feelings are still the same, its a disgrace that people can just buy their way through childbirth and get someone else to do all the hard work, along with the risks for them.

When people say they are going to leave GN, I have an overwhelming urge to say ‘Don’t forget to close the door on your way out’.