Robbie Williams and surrogacy

lavenderzen please don’t leave

Summer. Stop taking science so personally.
You can’t argue with what’s been proven.

Take it up with the facts.

I agree summerlove Let's hear it for all those of us who had happy non traumatised lives as adopted children.

Don't leave lavenderzen we need posters who care .

As said upthread, we accept that it reduces health and wellbeing outcomes for other mammals to be separated from their birth mother soon after birth. Humans are mammals too.

Babies do have a phsiological response to separation from their birth mother. Regardless of whether they are a good mother or not. Regardless of how happy their adoptive life is. Its a biological response that affects and changes the body.

I'm out off this thread.

So many experts here, telling adopted people how they felt as
children, how they feel now

Nobody has done that
And attatchment trauma isnt a "feeling" its a physiological response. Its biology.

The evidence based best practice in adoption services is there so that people arent defined by early attatchment trauma.

In order to do that and put in the appropriate support, it first has to be acknowledged that it exists. Which it widely is in countries that have more ethical "best practice" adoption services

So many experts here, telling adopted people how they felt as
children, how they feel now.

Good heavens! What a dreadful thread this has turned into regarding adoption.

I will leave it and leave Gransnet altogether. What an uncaring place this is.

Bibbity, I am not burying my head in the sand.

I’m telling you that this attitude is quite “othering”. Most people don’t like to be defined by the trauma they’ve experienced.

As an adopted person, I’m finding this all pretty demeaning.

There are physiological & genetic changes that occur in infant trauma.

Understanding this is key in adoption services, and forms part of the process.

The same should apply in surrogacy

It cant be undone but can be sonewhat mitigated and a good outcome can be had with work (and an understanding of attachment). Best practice for reducing adoptive trauma includes acknowledgement of and contact with the birth mother. We do not often see this happening in these celeb surrogacy cases. The opposite in fact. People were shut down as homophobes for referring to the Daly surrogate as the childs mother

Actually agood adoption experience can repair damage done by early trauma
All of this information might leave you feeling like the outlook for a child with an early trauma history is bleak. Fortunately, that doesn’t have to be the case. There is evidence that providing a child with felt safety and the opportunity for healthy attachment can help rewire the brain. Two helpful, practical resources for parents are The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Seigel and Tina Payne Bryson and this website. Also, there are many support groups (physical and virtual) for adoptive parents where you can get helpful information and resources. If you are struggling to parent a child who experienced early trauma, you are not alone. Reach out. There is help and hope for you and your family
adoption.com/trauma-and-brain-development-what-adoptive-parents-should-know.

FWIW a prospective adoptive parent in the UK who admitted to not believing in attatchment trauma would be rejected by adoption services!

No I didn’t Summer.
I said they’d been traumatised. They have.
They have experienced trauma. And this can have long lasting and permanent damage.

Tell your relatives what you want. Honestly don’t care. But stop trying to argue against what Adoption UK say themselves! What the NHS say and adoption charities. Why do you want to bury your head in the sand instead of wanting adopted children supported and given the absolute best second chance possible?

It affects their endocrinr system and their brain.

It doesnt mean theyre written off for life, but they are changed for life. Early infant attatchment has lifelong effects.

Its so widely evidenced and accepted that I cant believe people are actually denying it. Most of modern phychotherapy and psychiatry is based on an understanding of attachment theory

You need to have a word with the NHS then summer, they are very clear about the issue of trauma and adoption. Nobody is saying people are less because they are adopted, they are acknowledging what has happened to them. It is an issue which is discussed at length with adoptive parents in order that they can provide the child with support.

Its very basic science. Early attatchment trauma changes the childs DNA.

Its basic, extensively researched, universally accepted in mefical and child services fields fact.

Its doesnt mean that no adoptd person has a fulfilling life.

The trauma is physical. Its biological and very real.

Theyre still affected. Even the surrogacy industry itself acknowledges that as you can claim expenses for "rebonding" activities with your existing children after the surrogacy has ended.

I didn’t deny that.

I said they were not siblings.

Adoption is a trauma, its a scientific fact

But you are inferring that adopted children are damaged and broken.

That’s a pretty insulting attitude. There may be past trauma, but most people have past trauma they move past.

To insinuate that being adopted has made a person damaged, infers that they are less than their peers who were not adopted.

It’s a pretty arrogant view.

Not all adopted people have the same experience.

Blimey, perhaps I should tell ALL my adopted relatives that they are TRAUMATISED!!!!

notanan2 please give links to your "facts"

A baby born to a surrogate who had previous children, is not a sibling to those children in cases where the embryo was used from the biological parents.

Theyre still affected. Even the surrogacy industry itself acknowledges that as you can claim expenses for "rebonding" activities with your existing children after the surrogacy has ended.

I think it’s sad that a woman cannot feel fulfilled unless she has a child.

Yet, constantly women are asking their children when they will make them grandmothers. Where are the snide comments for that?

Re: going to work, what’s the other option in today’s world where most families need two salaries to not live in poverty?

Some attitudes here towards adoption are shocking. To infer that most adopted children have trauma and damage?

Adoption is a trauma, its a scientific fact