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Robbie Williams and surrogacy

(412 Posts)
Greymar Fri 14-Feb-20 19:57:25

Money talks. Or hopefully not.

suziewoozie Sun 16-Feb-20 14:29:17

‘I have not read all the posts’ ......

In which case, why not refrain from posting rose until you have?

notanan2 Sun 16-Feb-20 14:24:47

There is some twaddle written on here about adoption

Specificially?

Galaxy Sun 16-Feb-20 14:16:24

I am discussing surrogacy, not particularly Robbie Williams, or anyone else, all sorts of things could be seen as nothing to do with anyone else, divorce, parenting, etc. Its partly how we as a society establish laws.

rosenoir Sun 16-Feb-20 14:05:57

I have not read all the posts but am sure there is negativity and condemnation against people that nobody on here knows.

What has this got to do with anyone but those involved
.
It seems that social media has contributed to another suicide,who knows how many there are that are not news worthy.

There are kinder ways of saying you dont agree with something.

omega1 Sun 16-Feb-20 13:48:26

why didn't she have the children herself. Was she unable to. Introducing a third person into the birth of a child is wrong. Who is really the mother. The egg donor or the woman who carried the child

sodapop Sun 16-Feb-20 13:43:48

There is some twaddle written on here about adoption.

Theoddbird Sun 16-Feb-20 13:05:58

The way I understand it is that these two children are biologically Robbie and Ayda's. The surrogate was implanted with the fertilized eggs.

CarlyD7 Sun 16-Feb-20 12:56:26

I do remember reading about surrogacy in The Bible - Rachel couldn't have her own child with Jacob, so she did so through her handmaiden Bilhah. Sarah couldn't have her own child with Abraham, so she had a child through her handmaiden Hagar. The two handmaidens were slaves so, presumably, had little say in it. At least surrogates these days do.

suziewoozie Sun 16-Feb-20 12:43:33

But it’s been a very wide ranging mostly interesting thread

Tillybelle Sun 16-Feb-20 12:42:45

I can't believe this has gone on for 10 pages!

suziewoozie Sun 16-Feb-20 12:37:20

Supportive of whom Gill ? Commodified women or rich entitled celebs with two children of their own renting a womb?

Gill11 Sun 16-Feb-20 12:31:25

And I thought Gransnet would be a supportive forum! How naive of me.

Grannyhall29 Sun 16-Feb-20 12:21:53

None of us know what difficulties they've had having children, apparently it is her egg and his
sperm so technically it is there own child, there last child was also carried by the same surrogate, I havent got a problem with it as long as the child is loved, that's all that matters

EthelJ Sun 16-Feb-20 11:54:35

maddyone I don't think Bibity is saying adoption is wrong she is saying that it causes trauma and all the research shows that this is the case. Babies who are adopted often have attachment issues and adopted parents are advised how to deal with it. That doesn't mean that the adoption is not the best scenario for the children that are adopted.
I don't know what I think about surrogacy I agree buying a baby is always wrong, and I could never carry a baby and then give it away. But I also have great sympathy for people who are not able to carry a child. That sympathy doesn't extend to Robbie Williams and his wife who already have children.

SueDonim Sun 16-Feb-20 11:49:15

I don’t know what to think about surrogacy and am fortunate to have never had to consider it for myself. I was very struck by one surrogacy birth I know of, though.

A married mother-of-two offered to have a baby for her sister who couldn’t conceive, using the sister’s husband’s sperm. I’m assuming it was done under medical circumstances, although I don’t know that for sure. When the baby arrived, it was handed over to the sister, who of course was delighted and thrilled with her baby.

However, for about three months after the baby was born, whenever the birth mother was visiting the sister (they lived nearby) the baby would turn towards the birth mother whenever she spoke, seemingly drawn to listening to her voice. It only happened with the birth mother, the baby didn’t do with anyone else. I found that quite disturbing.

Also, during the pregnancy, the husband of the birth mother found it increasingly difficult to see his wife growing big with another man’s baby. He’d had his doubts about the whole idea in the first place but it was sold to him as making someone else happy so he had acquiesced. About six months after the baby was born the marriage broke down completely. Maybe there were issues anyway, and this was the straw that broke the camels back, but it resulted in a fractured relationship and two other children losing their father, as well as having a half-sibling they couldn’t grow up with. That’s a heavy price to pay, I think.

Anniebach Sun 16-Feb-20 11:32:43

Abortion supported regardless of the reason , a woman’s choice. Same for surrogate women, their choice .

Galaxy Sun 16-Feb-20 11:32:20

Minerva nobody is saying that adoption is cruel, they are saying that separation from the mother may have life long effects on the child. In the cases of adoption it is in the best interest of the child. I dont know if creating a situation like that is in the best interests.of the child.

Galaxy Sun 16-Feb-20 11:28:00

Women as incubators. Oh the progress we have made.

Minerva Sun 16-Feb-20 11:27:15

How can it be as traumatising as adoption? Not many babies are handed over to adopting parents at birth. The trauma comes from being cared for by the grieving birth mother for weeks then often spending time in nurseries or years in care. Such unkind comments.
I wonder if people speculated that we adopted because I was too lazy to carry another baby of my own, or thought it was unnatural or was the baby bought from the Adoption Agency or was it cruel to adopt a baby whose mother was too sick with drug dependency to look after it but as is natural would have liked to hold on to it!
If I could have rather had a surrogate hand over a newborn baby I would have jumped at the chance.
I absolutely do not believe that surrogacy and adoption result in the same trauma for the child or the new parents.

missdeke Sun 16-Feb-20 11:26:23

I have never been a fan of Robbie Williams, I find him thoroughly objectionable and self centred. However I understood that their decision to go through with surrogacy was based on the fact that Ayda was having trouble keeping a pregnancy going. The baby is supposedly their biological child and the surrogate was just an incubator. If she was happy to do this whether for financial gain or not is nobody's business but theirs. As long as they weren't breaking any laws good luck to them.

trisher Sun 16-Feb-20 11:26:15

Greymar I don't think surrogacy is morally wrong. You may do but you have no right to inflict those beliefs on other people. I also don't think drug taking is morally wrong. Do you drink coffee or alcohol? If so you are drug taking, just in a socialy acceptable way.

Galaxy Sun 16-Feb-20 11:24:52

We are not creating that situation though are we soda pop, and when we know about it we take action, in the best interest of the child. This is putting the needs/wishes of adults ahead of that.

Mimidl Sun 16-Feb-20 11:22:05

This are some unbelievably judgemental posts here.

They had problems conceiving together and carrying children, so if you would agree with IVF, why would you disapprove of surrogacy?
The child is biologically theirs and this woman has happily carried these children for them.
Many surrogates get immense joy from enabling a family to have a child - she’s hardly been tied down and forced to do this, not once, but twice. ?

Greymar Sun 16-Feb-20 11:21:00

How can surrogacy be the same as adoption? Unless I'm mistaken the child in adoption is already here. The surrogate situation is renting a womb and paying for it. If its so wonderful, why is it banned elsewhere? The 'it will drive it underground' argument could apply to badger baiting, drug taking, abortion, kidney selling and any number of hideous things which are morally wrong. I don't think we can say 'oh well it's going to happen, let's condone it'.

sodapop Sun 16-Feb-20 11:20:00

Agree Annie Is it not a service like any other ?

Galaxy a child does not consent to being born into a family where it is abused and treated cruelly, not really a valid point in my opinion.