Sadness for sons

You didn't let your sons down, those men did. You have nothing to feel guilty for.

Pap67, I believe that one good parent is quite adequate, quite good enough. Many poor souls don't even have that.

A somewhat disadvantaged background can provide just the impetus to make a success of life, to value what's important and to be happy.

I worked with students from all backgrounds. There were two groups I truly worried about. First, those who were very disadvantaged with everything against their chances, second, (surprisingly) those who had every advantage - and seemed to have no drive at all!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I have those kind of guilts and my daughter says why did you pick such dreadful men...and of course its only one way of looking at it. Its a gamble, desire is not sensible and bad things happen to good people. So stop licking your wounds. You've done well..you are a good person and your influence for good and order will be felt for ever in ways you will not understand. So dont give up on yourself. You are not a failure. You have got this life a short span to do as much good as you can. And I think you have. And will carry on doing so. Dont judge yourself so harshly...talk to yourself as a good friend. This is bootstrap time - every day. Believe me you have a lot you're just having a wobble in self confidence.

Read "A Good Enough Mother" by Bev Thomas. I am listening to it being read on Audible.com. Really helpful for those of us in challenging family situations.

I have a feeling your sons are probably doing fine because they have a good and caring Mum. Look after you.

Your sons always had you, even if fathers were absent. I'm from a dreadful background and if I had one person there for me, it would have made such a difference.

I have sent you a private message.

Pap67, you sound depressed and I can understand why. Go and see your GP and see if you can get counselling or other help.

Lots of children, boys and girls, have difficult childhoods for reasons out of their - and their parents - control, yet they grow up balanced and stable and loving their mother because of how well she managed during such difficult years.

Have you actually talked to your sons about how you see their childhood and yourself? I suspect they do not see it as negatively as you did and just see a loving and brave mother, who like a Lifeboat breasted the highest wave and loved them and protected them.

Now take as much care of yourself as you took of them and go and see your doctor and get some counselling.

I was thinking the same, Sodapop! I’ll contact HQ and see if they can move it for them.

I think you may have posted in the wrong forum Pap67 you will get more responses elsewhere on GN.