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Caroline Flack Dead

(343 Posts)
tickingbird Sat 15-Feb-20 17:49:38

I have just read this online and I’m very shocked. I can’t say I know much about her but watched Love Island last year. I know she’s been charged with assaulting her boyfriend but he was standing by her.

I just think it’s very sad.

notanan2 Sat 22-Feb-20 14:31:16

Abusers arent just abusers when theyre drunk and lashing out. Theyre also being abusive when theyre sober and love-bombing and making their partner forgive them and come back for more because "that wasnt the real me"

ananimous Sat 22-Feb-20 14:31:07

Boyfriend could be narcissitic ...
He could have manipulated her to meltdown
It's called the devaluation stage - peppered with limited, love-bombing.

He may have been undermining her confidence for a long time - look how cold he looks in the photos.

And his post was all me me me typical narc.

There's a lot more to this.

notanan2 Sat 22-Feb-20 14:29:24

She wasnt always drunk when she was dating a teenager as a 30something and making comments about age not mattering on "family" shows.

Addiction is terrible. But it is PART of the person. Their actions are still theirs.

Nightsky2 Sat 22-Feb-20 14:27:01

Boyfriend called police because he thought she was going to kill him. She appeared to have cut her wrist, broken glass with blood everywhere. Police heard her threatening bf and footage of her being very aggressive at the police station. Of course she didn’t want the public to see this. The image we have of her is of a very attractive, vivacious successful woman. Alcohol destroys lives. She will be remembered for the very nice person she really was. It’s tragic.

ReadyMeals Sat 22-Feb-20 14:22:52

I guess it was kind of skimming just the right side of the law. If they were not mailing or messaging each other directly, but just publishing public entries that the other one could "happen to read" then it might be just scrape past the conditions. I still feel as if her death could and should have marked the end to her embarrassment, she wanted to avoid the shame of the court case, but somehow between her family, her friends, and the media, she's being dragged through it anyway.

notanan2 Sat 22-Feb-20 13:51:28

Public figures using their public forums to breach bail without consequence is not "bad" journalism..

notanan2 Sat 22-Feb-20 13:49:22

Reports of her breaching her bail and questions re why she was getting away with it where you or I wouldnt, was the public interest journalism which is now referred to as the "hounding" that #benice and CarolinesLaw want to ban...

suziewoozie Sat 22-Feb-20 12:47:57

I think the police would generally find out about breaches if the other party reported them.

suziewoozie Sat 22-Feb-20 12:46:54

Or an irregular basis actually

suziewoozie Sat 22-Feb-20 12:46:30

I doubt the police had the resources to check her online posts on a regular basis sadly

ReadyMeals Sat 22-Feb-20 12:20:32

Why didn't they enforce the conditions then? See they were already giving her favorable leeway, they probably couldn't go much further in trying to be considerate of her mental state without totally throwing out their own rulebook.

notanan2 Fri 21-Feb-20 22:52:23

ReadyMeals she was sending him messages on Instagram

ReadyMeals Fri 21-Feb-20 22:05:58

omg... rip Caroline, if they let you...

Anniebach Fri 21-Feb-20 15:45:31

Enough is enough , an ex boyfriend gave an interview, he is
going to release a private conversation they had

ananimous Fri 21-Feb-20 15:42:50

May her poor traumatized soul be finally at peace.

ReadyMeals Fri 21-Feb-20 15:34:14

Ok... I wasn't aware she was breaking the conditions. What did she do that she wasn't meant to? And why didn't they take her back to prison in that case like they're meant to

Ellianne Fri 21-Feb-20 15:33:36

I'm not sure if anyone else saw it, but Michael Portillo gave a very measured and well informed answer to the question about CF, the media and being kind on Question Time last night. He understood the complexities of being in the limelight as well as understanding the job of the CPS.

notanan2 Fri 21-Feb-20 15:03:15

She wasnt respecting the conditions of her bail ReadyMeals. She broke them almost immediately!

The bail conditions may not save from abusers who PLAN a murder but most spousal murder is more the "red mist" syle

ReadyMeals Fri 21-Feb-20 13:00:39

Actually, the really determined abuser/stalkers are so obsessed with anger that they ignore their bail conditions and come to kill their ex anyway. The very fact that Caroline was respecting the conditions of her bail was almost a sign that it would have been safe to lift them, with her victim/boyfriend acceptance. Not saying she shouldn't have had her day in court, but some contact with the boyfriend might have just helped to get her there. But the problem is until she actually got to court, the cps probably don't know who or what she is inside herself

notanan2 Thu 20-Feb-20 16:27:54

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/feb/20/over-half-of-uk-women-killed-by-men-die-hands-current-ex-partner

Why domestic violence cases SHOULD include no contact bail conditions

notanan2 Thu 20-Feb-20 15:57:31

There are a few mental health states where you lack insight and capacity and genuinely have no control over your actions.

The vast majority of mental healtg problems may give you the impulse to do bad things, but you still actively decide whether or not to act on them.

CF worked in a culture where you could act on your impulses and get away with it. Far more so than average joe blogs could. It cant help the ITV/BBC gang to have inpulse control when no one around them needs it!

I think the outrage from that camp is partially self serving. They are shocked that CF wasnt treated with the impunity that that gang have become acustomed to. #Bekind has a dark side.

Washerwoman Thu 20-Feb-20 13:26:06

The poor woman had her demons for sure.I also keep thinking of the friend that popped out to the shops and her poor family. But is it wrong it feel uneasy about the whole Love Island thing.That she fronted show that laid young people so bare,almost literally,to have their personalities and bodies scrutinised so much and at the mercy of social media.The poor families of the two contestants who committed suicide.I think ITV should have pulled the whole series.I believe the police and CPS were just doing their job. And as Greymar says look at Ant McPs hero's return.

Greymar Thu 20-Feb-20 13:14:52

I guess that should be 'was' notonan. The whole Ant and Dec thing is utter madness. In the whole of the UK, this is the best we can come up with for 'light entertainment'

notanan2 Thu 20-Feb-20 10:36:08

CF is part of the same gang that gave Ant McPartland a heros welcome after causing a 3 car crash when drink driving and turned him into the victim of the story.. because he was "troubled"..

notanan2 Thu 20-Feb-20 10:31:09

20 22:54:52
If prosecution of domestic violence changes due to this case, it is women who will suffer the most.

And "Carolines law" would silence whistleblowing of abuses too