Exam stress!

There is nothing you can do about it, the exam is done and gone.

Yes .. I nearly posted about this on several occasions but held back as I thought I was alone. I struggle to find the right words of encouragement and often wonder why my AC keeps putting herself through this. I can only assume that the sense of achievement outweighs the agony and angst. My AC continues to be evaluated professionally and sit exams - this week has been another tough one. We are not alone. ? for us ?

Thank you " Feelingmyage " . I am glad I am not alone.
Once I could pass my own worry on to my own Mum . She didn't really understand exams , never having sat any major ones . That meant she could listen to my worries without taking them on . She was always supremely confident of success !
She died 18 months ago . I am now where the buck stops ?
If your AC has been having exams this week I suspect they might be the same as mine.
I wish your child ( for that's what they forever are , aren't they ?) and mine , all the luck in the world. Here's to success.... and , hopefully , the end of a very long road xxxx

We have just survived DD's seven years of study for an OU degree. She is always rational and reasonable when she really knows she hasn't done well in an exam, but otherwise she works herself up into a real stew. My reaction is just to make soothing noises for a while and then change the subject. Worrying with her will only make the situation worse.

But all that study was worthwhile. Even before she had finished her degree she was snapped up for the first job she applied for using her new qualifications. She went from job application to job offer in a week.

Well, as someone who still has exam nightmares nearly 60 years later, I can’t really offer any comfort except to say it just how some of us are.

We learn to live with it ?

I’ve had children at university since 1993 and the youngest is currently doing medicine so there are a lot of exams. I’ve a,ways had the attitude that they try their best and once the exam is over, what will be, will be. It’s rare that an failed exam will mean the end of anyone’s dreams, although in medicine you only get three shots at finals.

What always puzzles me, is that more people do not have a better feel for how well they have done in an exam. In a long career of exam taking, I always know pretty accurately how well I have done, whether for good or ill. Yes, occasionally I get it wrong. But usually I come out of an exam cautiously optimistic or starting to think about resits and when the results come out,get the results I expect. So while obviously being a little bit tense between exam and results, I do not do as DD does and work herself up into a state where she is convinced she has done so badly, all her previous exams will be rescinded and then when the results come out, gets either a 2:1 or !st.

I agree , M0nica , that I am surprised she always thinks she's done when, in fact , the opposite is true . She has achieved top results most of the time.
I'm afraid I was much the same though. Never any accurate perception of how well I'd done ....which is why I get so upset and irrational about DD , I guess . Like 2 peas in a pod !! Like Eglantine I STILL have stress dreams about my own A levels and degree exams and I'm 60 !
These are medical exams , Suedonim , though I'm glad to say we are well past university final stage and these are the final post grad exams . They get harder to pass with each stage and applicants do fail at this stage, even very competent ones & often for unexpected reasons .
They can be resat , a number of times , but it costs a lot of money ( £1300) each time and I don't look forward to the emotional strain all over again !
Wishing all of you going through this thr best of luck . Fingers crossed xxx

I felt the same from A levels onwards for my daughter. She was always very anxious and I always expected the worst. She did well in all her exams and subsequently in her professional career. I now wish I had had more confidence in her and not worried so much.

I think their anxiety is so genuine that it convinces us , Framilode , especially if you have similar anxiety tendencies .
The odd thing is , I know, DD can do it . She has been very successful this far . I just wish we could stop ourselves getting in such a state !

The medical professional exams are indeed expensive, Mirren. Dd has all that coming up.

I do think nowadays that some exams are deliberately set to make it harder to know how you’ve done.

In general terms, I’ve said to my DC that schools and universities don’t want them to fail exams - it doesn’t look good on their results to have failing pupils/students.

That's exactly what we tell them , SueDonim .
Unfortunately, DH , who is himself a " survivor " of Post grad medical exams is of the belief that , before graduation they're trying to pass you ; after graduation, they're trying to fail you !
Guess that is partially true because doctors must be safe and competent but I sometimes wish he wouldn't keep saying it ???

Ever helpful, Mirren!

This is a normal condition for many students. I used to write my essays that way myself. Because of my heavy study load, I used to sit up late into the night doing homework. Now when my sister goes to university I have shared with her personal statement writers www.personalstatementwriter.com/ where she can get help with her personal statement writing. I hope it will save her time.

Reported

Wow, interesting decision

Do you mean the decision to report? It was spam so quite right to report.

Eglantine21

Well, as someone who still has exam nightmares nearly 60 years later, I can’t really offer any comfort except to say it just how some of us are.

We learn to live with it ?

Me too, although at the time I was never over-anxious about them. I still have my A level German Lit nightmare every now and then - not only have I not read any of the books, I don’t even know what they are!
Why only ever German I don’t know - I was taking 2 other languages and got the same result for all 3.

Thank you GSM. I thought it was an obvious scam but clearly GN and Paula disagree ?

Neither of my sons was more than normally stressed about exams. I was terrible, though. When I was doing my degree finals I was really ill with stress. This was largely because I desperately wanted to equal my brother’s results. I was used to being ‘the clever one’, so when my brother did so well I felt distinctly put out! Pure sibling rivalry. I did equal him, so that was all right.

Although nobody in my family is doing important exams at the moment, I still feel nervous on A-level results day.

I was always anxious about exams and I still have the occasional exam nightmare where I haven’t done any studying at all for the subject. It is something you learn to live with as Eglantine says. I think it’s inevitable if you’re a conscientious but not terribly confident person; there’s such a thing as having too much confidence in your own ability!

I wonder (and I mean this kindly, but it’s tricky to express that in writing) if you aren’t reinforcing her anxiety by, apparently, being so anxious yourself that you need support. I’m not, of course, suggesting that you don’t support her, but that if you responded differently, she would relax a little too?