Do you worry what will happen to all your belongings when you die?

I’m in the process of sorting through my parents home. My dad died last year and my mum has moved into residential care. They both didn’t throw much of their belongings away over the years and consequently there’s a lot for me to do. My mum’s upset that I’m having to sort everything and organise what will happen to all their things I think she imagined she would have died before I had to clear things for her.
I’m sorting my dad’s belongings first and i am finding it quite enjoyable to be able to reflect on him and come across things that were familiar to me as a child. as M0nica said it’s part of the grieving process. I’m not looking forward so much to sorting my mum’s belongings out while she’s still alive though ( she’s not capable of helping). So I will try not to hoard too much of my own and have regular clear outs in case I end up in a similar situation as mum

Reading through these post has brought to mind my early 20, when my much loved Great aunt asked me to take anything I wanted from her house.There were a few things I really loved and wanted but I felt if I took them it would seem as if I was saying she was at the end of her life so said no.I didn't get them when she did die and still regret saying no when she was alive because now I'm much older I realise she would have been delighted if I'd said yes.
So I would say make sure your Gc,children, aren't just saying no for the same reason as I did.

There’s a website called FREEGLE. People use it to advertise items they no longer have use for. It’s a great idea. Nothing gets thrown away or taken to the tip. I think it’s nationwide but not 100% sure. It’s worth a look.

We have been consistently clearing out drawers and paperwork over the last two rainy weekends. Still a fair way to go. We've both made wills which were updated recently following some family dynamics which made us rethink some of our wills content.
When my father was moving to France from Cornwall we went one weekend to help clear his house. He wasnt sentimental over stuff so, because we only had a weekend to clear the house, a lot went into a skip. I remember he had a set of pastry forks with willow patterned handles which he wanted to keep. However he remembered the cake slice that went with the set. We searched high and low for the darn thing until my DH suddenly remembered putting a very blackened object in the skip earlier. He had to get in the skip and fish around for ages before he came up with said cake slice to be reunited (after a good clean) with the pastry fork. I'm pleased to say my sister still uses the set so my DH's dive into the skip wasn't in vain!

I got 'lumbered' with all the stuff my brother & wife considered to be of little or no value after our parents went. The few items I faithfully polished as a child & held great sentimental value to me had already been magiced away by them (hurtful as there were enough toshare) but to keep the peace I don't complain. They know how I feel because I'd to give them the history. My mum left her jewellery to me as her only daughter (nothing amazing) but sil has nagged me to have her pick of that too!! Even though mum gave her things when she was alive because she would ask for them! Again, things I was allowed to play dress up with when little. I have boxes of things that I've been told to keep but they don't want 'cluttering up' their home. I offered them to my AC sending descrptions & photos but not one bothered to reply. Its 10years since they died dare I now just dispose of these teasets, ugly pots, fish knives, pressed glass dishes etc and just keep schtum? Hubby is utterly fed up with the boxes. I did once toy with idea of candles in teacups and cakestands from plates.

My daughter ten years ago said “I will just get a man with a van” but now she’s in her 40s with a child I think she’s more environmentally conscious and I think she will make the effort to get as much as possible recycled.
I really am trying to get rid of stuff. I’m a tidy hoarder but as the OP said, if you have hobbies requiring bits and pieces, cupboards and drawers fill up and as long as I can imagine needing them it is really hard to lose them.
When she and GC move out and I can downsize, hopefully into a flat and not a coffin, and that will be crunch time.

Well, I have just decided what to do with my collection of dolls - they will go to a museum when I die, or when we move to something smaller. My professional books are to go to a university and the rest can go to a junk shop without my worrying about it.

I don't worry about it. I know it will all be cleared out. Jewellery may be given to GD and perhaps odds and ends saved if felt useful for family at the time. Otherwise all will go.

As my mum has recently died, we've been sorting and clearing her house - an awful job emotionally. A four bedroomed house full of fifty years of married life unsorted. She left little notes around the place we found 'No nonsense - keep anything that pleases you and get rid of the the rest...' which helped, but still.

This prompted us to think about ours. You can't get into our loft, barely standing room. So we have spent two weeks up there - awful job! and have now sorted it out and I am making it into a work space. The thought of anyone else having to deal with it (after doing mum's) was too much. I feel better now though, all that clutter sorted. I have also downsized everything else - all the cupboards and bookshelves with this in mind, keeping only what I really want. Sigh.

Thanks Witzend for reminding me of the Cinnamon Trust.

A lady that I knew, widowed with no children (daughter pre deceased her) went round her house and labelled items that she particularly wanted to be given to certain people and then added them to her will, much to the dismay of her brother in law who had an eye on one of her antique clocks. Everytime he visited , he made a comment about how nice it was , or picking it up and studying it. The lady knew that the clock, that had belonged to her grandparents would not stay in his possession for long as he fancied himself as an antiques dealer !

We have recently had to have some essential work on our home and in the process have unearthed so much stuff that I had forgotten I had or just not used or worn !
There are several bags ready to go to a charity shop both of clothing and bits and pieces that I either have bought, meaning to give as presents or been given and haven't used!
I had to empty what had been our airing cupboard so that a new stop cock could be fitted and the amount of linen in there amazed me - the number of towels that are past their best (will be going to an animal sanctuary) to bed linen , quilts and duvet covers - do I really need 6 duvet covers?
A lot was "inherited " from my parents- I seem to have got left with most of it!
Greetings cards? I won't need to buy one for the next 50 years ! Or Christmas cards! I was often asked by my mother to buy a few cards so she had some ready for birthdays etc that were never sent!
There are some items that will be sold but the rest will be donated to the Sally Army who will hopefully be able to sell them to raise much needed funds.

Mrs Greenfingers and anyone else. I agree with most of what has been said about belongings. But please ask your grandchildren what they would like, they willhave memories from you house and you'll be surprised.
I am a book fanatic and have several hundred books. I have left everything to my daughter in my will. However, my grandchildren then in their teens, said"Nana, you've left everything to mum haven't you?" Yes I said. Well no, they said! You must change your will and leave all your books to us. You know mum will just send them all to the charity shop. We will decide what we want to keep because we love your books. Will was changed the next day and they are now 23 and 26 and still feel the same. I was delighted.

@Alexa, have you heard of The Cinnamon Trust? Of course I hope it will never be needed! - but they will take pets of people who have died or are too infirm to care for them. They do their best to re-home, but keep the older ones - IIRC dogs over 10.
We once visited a Cinnamon Trust home in the SW UK - it was such a lovely, homely environment for them. We thought that any dog or cat that nobody else could take and which ended its days there, would be very lucky.

I do think about it. When my sister and I cleared our family house we struggled to make decisions about family stuff with the result we both have things we dont really want, which have no value or interest to others, but we feel we have to keep. Its a dilemma as my sister is childfree and I have one child who has special needs/disabilities and who is probably likely to end up in some sort of supported living where he will have no room to have much stuff (even if it was wanted).

Some of my stuff the kids have said they would like when I die, the rest I guess they will dump which isn’t a problem to me

Very interesting ladies, thank you all for your posts. Have a good day all, sun is actually out this morning so enjoy!

I've moved house 5 times in last 15 years + I'm a tidy person .

Never want to or had the opportunity to hoard.

So not worried. Hate to think my DH and daughter had so much to sort out of mine. My only worry is Mya, my rescue dog.

Framilode. Sell the railway things !!! Enjoy the money !!

I have regular clear outs and I do like a minimalistic home with just a few nice bits. When I pop my clogs I don’t want my 3 to have to pile thro mountains of “stuff”. My own Mum is 90 next month and when we do lose her, it will take us a year and a day to clear her house out as she just cannot throw a thing away.

Yes I do worry about my dog.

Yes, a little.

i have planted quite few trees in my gardens where I have lived. I have an oak tree that I watched from a tiny seedling and which is now big and straight enought to make a mast for a fair sized sailing boat. Oak tree is in a suitable position vis a vis the house.

My previous house from early 1960s :I looked at google maps and discovered my cherry tree, my pink hawthorn ,and my crab apple were still there when the map was photographed and this gives me quite a lot of pleasure and solace.

I love these posts

my response

NO!

A Sil of mine and her family were shocked when a nephew’s wife, no blood relation, having heard that family could choose what they liked from the deceased grandmother’s house - immediately dived in and helped herself to all the jewellery!

I’m pleased to say they made her give it all back.

Long before she died, my mother often used to tell us to ‘put our names on’ anything we’d like after she was gone, because, ‘I don’t want any squabbling!’ (She and her own siblings had never got on very well.).

We always assured her that there would never be any squabbling, and there never was.

I’m not in the least bit worried about what will happen to possessions. I’m more concerned that it won’t create a burden for those who have to dispose of it.
I do know that if husband goes first, more than half the wardrobe space will be freed up and I’m dreading clearing the garage.

“Things” don’t matter, people do.