Do you worry what will happen to all your belongings when you die?

Much the same in this house. Not railwayana, but loads of other collectibles, some valuable, some not. Tools, electronics, books, cds, paperwork.....
I do have some best china which I don’t use as it doesn’t go in the dishwasher.
There are also things that came from our parents..........
It is true, things we treasure make very little at auctions.

It took three skips, several car loads and a house clearance firm after my parents died and we vowed we would not do the same to our children, but I bet we will.

Evianners and Framilode - I'm in the same boat with the railway stuff. Huge layout, empty boxes kept for all the engines and the rolling stock, masses of books and god knows what else. All 'valuable', of course. I try not to think about it. DH hates throwing anything away so to compensate I have regular culls of my own stuff. Our poor children!

I decluttered very carefully when I recently moved house.

Now I try not to keep unnecessary "stuff".

My paperwork is in order and I've made it as easy as possible for anyone to clear my house.

Having spent the whole day decluttering I thought I had done really well. However I now feel the need to actually keep going as you have reminded me of the times that I have felt so sad having to quickly clear out some relations homes. Wish I was a natural minimalist.

I’m going to have to borrow you Hetty58 I think, I am getting bit better as the weeks go by

No I have never thought about it, but I am trying to de clutter the hardest thing for me is that I’ve been bought some really nice things by friends over the years and I can’t part with them, and I have kept lots of my children’s bits and bobs from when they were at school, other things are easier to let go of, oh I don’t know how I feel about a friend asking if she can have first dibs on my stuff when I die, lol

I don't really value things so I'm very minimalist these days. I regularly take a bag of assorted bits to the charity shop when I'm going shopping anyway or walking the dog. It feels so good to get rid of stuff. Once it's in that bag I forget all about it. It's no longer 'mine'.

I had a bonfire today to dispose of all the old/outdated paperwork - much nicer/quicker than shredding it. I'd say my belongings (apart from furniture) would easily fit in a small van.

I only have a few things that I'm concerned about Apart from a few pieces of personal jewellery all belonged to my parents and I've already discussed them with our children.
I do worry about which of them will have the job of clearing the house after we've both gone. I'm older than husband so l'll probably go first. And he's a hoarder +++
I know what a sad hard job it is as I cleared my parent's house and it took months.

welbeck lots of things were missing, we think she threw lots of stuff in the bin.
MIL collected owls, they were everywhere, when we came to sort the house we only found 3 .
SIL had started going through the rubbish bins after FIL died , but I don’t think she was quick enough.
We took her a huge bunch of flowers for her birthday, she said these are lovely I have a special place for these and walked towards the back door opened it and flung them into the garden! When we went back to retrieve them to take them home we found various bunches out there and pot plants, all just thrown out.
She would be mortified if she was aware of what is happening to her.

the person who said a younger friend had asked for first dibs, made me think, and above re auction items.
sometimes our friends or even acquaintances may be more likely to appreciate and value an item, than people who happen to have inherited. even close relatives.
perhaps it would be good to give things to people whom we believe would truly treasure them; give them now, while we can.
just because we are related to someone, even those we care for or feel close to, doesn't mean they will value or appreciate the items that we do.
i know it sounds silly, but i would like to think that if poss things could be in the care and use of appreciative people.

re OOPS, above, it's strange that it was jewellery that she threw away, how about hair brushes, milk jugs, odd shoes. did she have careworkers or cleaners coming into the house.
i heard of one woman who was restricted to downstairs, had careworkers. she eventually went into carehome. when her relatives came to clear her house, they found almost nothing upstairs, where all the plate, silver, best linen, clothes etc had been stored, to make more living space downstairs.
i have heard of this all too often.
first one we had told me of how her previous client gave her lots of presents, made me feel v uncomfortable.

Cfaz49. Last year while looking for drawers I visited an auction house for first time, it made me feel so sad. As you say everyone's 'best' china and glass ware, in cardboard boxes going for a song. Dil got a beautiful dinner service for £8 as well as a 'collectable' tea service for £5. I just found it all depressing, ok Dil will use them but someone somewhere had stored these items for years without using them because they were 'best' and relatives or who-ever had put them in a box to be sold as junk. It was an eye opener and I would urge anyone holding on to 'best' china etc to visit your local auction house and it might make you change your mind. Start giving it away now!

I’ve already pointed out to dds certain things that are not to go to either tip or charity shop but should be kept - that is if anyone wants them and has room! or else sold.
But I will make a list too.

As far as I’m concerned, everything else can be left to a house clearance firm - having done it myself, I wouldn’t want dds to have all that bother - so often very upsetting, too.

You do need to be vigilant with house clearance people, though. When my sister was clearing an aunt’s house after she’d had to go into a home, she saw the clearance people paying more than cursory attention to a picture that had been wrapped in brown paper and stashed behind a chest of drawers.

She recognised it as having belonged to our granny , who used to like going to sales and picking up things she liked for very little.

My sister had the picture valued. It turned out to be by quite a well known Victorian artist, and sold at auction for over
£10k, which all went into the coffers for care home fees.

Nothing else in the house was worth anything, but thank goodness my sister was keeping her eyes open.
My granny clearly had a good eye!

We have recently cleared MILs house, I found it very sad that we were all picking over her things, whilst she was in a home thinking all of her possessions were still at her house.
However, when we went to find certain items, especially jewellery, we found it had all gone, lots of other items as well had all disappeared, we assume that she threw it all out in the rubbish when she was in the early stages of Dementia.
SIL is very upset about the jewellery some of which was her Grandmothers.

So, if your kids want your stuff and you don’t use it very often, let them take it and enjoy it.

Evianners I'm with you on the railway stuff. We have a loft full of railway magazines and books going back to the 1950's, plus boxes of railway slides. We also have a huge shed at the bottom of the garden for the railway. He keeps telling me they are worth thousands!

A friend quite a lot younger than me asked if she could have,"first dibs",on my stuff when I die. I was actually quite flattered although other friends thought it was wrong that she asked.
Thinking about keeping things for best my Mum really amused me on the day of Dad's funeral when my sister got out Mums best china only to be told that it had to be kept for special occasions. We used it of course after saying it really was a special occasion!
I don't care about what happens to my things once I've gone but am worried about my cat who is a rescue cat and frightened of nearly everybody but me.

Cfaz49, I took your advice a while ago and started to use the dinner service my dear late Mum gave hubby and I as a wedding gift. Its so nice to use it everyday. We also began to use the 'good wine glasses'. Yes, our memories are not our children's memories. Im not worried what happens to my things. Even if they end up in a charity shop, they will at least be doing some good for someone.

The one thing I do know, not many of our belongings will end up on the tip. They will go on freegle, to charity shops, ebay, auctions, both general and specialist, and specialist book shops.

We downsized and made frequent trips to the Charity Shops, on the move again and once more another massive sort out, we are doing this to spare our children the task when we are no longer around.

Cfaz
I thought of that last night when I took two Wilko's wine glasses out of the kitchen cupboard when we have a cabinet of very nice wine and other glasses which only come out when people come!

BlueBelle I'm pinning my hopes on my DGD for the photos, but she's not old enough yet. I'll just have to keep going until she is!

My first post!
I love going to auctions but they are filled with belongings that have meant something to someone and nothing to the people clearing the house, whether children or a house clearance company. Seems very sad to see the dismantled parts of someone’s life in a banana box. So, I suggest that you enjoy your belongings now. Don’t keep things for “best “, use that cut glass and good china. Take pleasure in them. The odds are that the children will think them old fashioned and prefer Ikea!

trisher I m in the same situation as you two children overseas and one who has always told me she is not sentimental about “stuff” even family stuff and that it will all have to go I ve asked all my now older grandkids if anyone is interested in anything but no takers
I have asked that photos (a lot I m afraid) my boxes of family history and some of my poems and paintings can be kept otherwise they ll all probably go to the charity shop
I still have a lot of my mum and dads stuff and some of my Nan and grandads I m always trying to reduce

I don’t really worry about my own stuff although dh is a bit of a hoarder of paperwork. I’ve got some very nice new Sheffield-made scissors that I’d like to think someone in the family will take. Also my rings.

I do fret about it all going to the dump, though. I want my stuff to be properly recycled, where possible, and not contribute to landfill. Is that a weird thought, I wonder?

I’m not overly concerned though as I’m only mid-60’s and my mum is still kicking around at 92yo. There won’t be much to clear from her house, she’s always thrown out anything she doesn’t use or need. Almost everything of my dad’s had been removed from their house by the day after his funeral.

I don't worry about it, but do try to chuck out as much as possible now. I have the outfit I wore for my daughter's wedding that cost a silly amount, hanging in the spare room but I don't know what to do with it. I didn't even like it either. Thought I looked like the aged parent from an Oscar Wilde play........

I find that I worry daily about all the stuff that'll have to be shifted, every cupboard/drawer is jam-packed with " things ".
I do try now and again to thin it out a bit but then pause for ages thinking how I came about having certain items and before I know it, the day's gone.
My cats worry me, the youngest in particular ( a stray ) who's so attached to me I'm sure she'd really fret.

This sorting should be done blindfolded and in a totally mercenary manner. Sentiments are a thing of the past.

I've watched families of the deceased with cars/vans loading stuff to remove who've taken a whole weekend and even a week moving articles from flats and that's when it hits home about the time and expense of hiring vans as well as being bereaved, at what a terrible time for them and then to be faced with things in every corner of every room doesn't really bear thinking.

On the other hand I wouldn't like to think of the family leaving the place with one black bag of my belongings either. How sad that must be, a person's life.