Gransnet forums


In your opinion what makes a good friend

(13 Posts)
Chewbacca Mon 24-Feb-20 23:07:44

Honesty, loyalty and discretion are most important but also the ability to not see each other for a few weeks, and neither takes the huff, and then when you next meet up, you just pick up where you last left off. I don't have a huge number of friends but I'm lucky enough to have 4 of the above variety, all long standing and much loved.

Callistemon Mon 24-Feb-20 22:13:33

She's still a friend, sodapop but I am wary now.

sodapop Mon 24-Feb-20 21:18:41

Sounds like you had a bad experience Callistemon

I like a friend who shares some of my interests and will tell me the truth e,g.. yes, you do look fat in those trousers. I don't think its necessary to live in each others pockets but to know we are there if needed. Definitely need to share a similar sense of humour.

EllanVannin Mon 24-Feb-20 21:03:01

I had the best friend that anyone would have wished to have had. We had holidays galore together as well as laughs.

Met in 1960, had lots in common and shared most interests. The most loyal and kind person of who I'd never meet the like again. Sadly she died in December 2017 and my world fell in.

57 years of solid friendship is something you can't get over easily and I still miss her. I was also a friend to her family the same as she was with mine so it was like losing a family member.

I know in myself that I've never been the same since ,as we'd meet up for a coffee somewhere or a meal and I haven't bothered with anyone since, really nor made any effort simply because I don't want to.

BradfordLass73 Mon 24-Feb-20 20:28:35

Going by the virtues listed above, I've never had a good friend....but don't feel I've missed out in any way. I am very much a loner. A loner who can be sociable but nevertheless....

I once thought I had a good friend, a lady I knew well, we'd meet for coffee and hilarious chats. She was very wealthy and collected, amongst other things, rare, old books and I researched them on the Internet for her.

When she eventually bought her own computer I gave her lessons until she was confident, then repaired it, all free of charge, on numerous occasions after her adult son kept downloading things which compromised it.

We were both retired and she was kind enough to take me, quite willingly and without complaint, across the city every 2 months, to a hospital where my eyes were treated.

Then later, for reasons I still haven't discovered, and immediately after a home-made lunch at my place, she refused my calls (by this time I was no longer going to that hospital) and when I invited her, as usual, to my birthday party one year, she didn't even reply, nor send a card.

We had a mutual friend and I asked if she knew what I'd done wrong but apparently nothing had been said.
And that was that. A ten year friendship of mutual affection (or so I believed) just cut off without explanation.

I have to say she was not well-liked in our circle because she flaunted her wealth a bit and was regarded as very domineering, the sort of person who talks over you in a loud voice smile.

However, she and her meek little husband had worked very hard when younger, got into property when it was cheap and were now multi-millionaires so I felt they deserved their lesiurely retirement and many holidays and cruises.

I envied her a little but not much smile. All her 4 children were were conflicted, with severely dysfunctional families which no amount of money seemed able to solve - and that can't have been easy.

Harris27 Mon 24-Feb-20 10:54:46

I have lots of acquaintances but only about four true friends. They have been with me through my ups and downs and recently celebrated my 6o th birthday with love and hugs and a very nice meal. We don’t see each other as often as we should sue to work and family commitments but they are there through phone calls and texts and I know they always will be.

libra10 Mon 24-Feb-20 10:53:46

Loyalty, trustworthy, respects your secrets. shared sense of the ridiculous.

Similar outlook on life, shared confidences, on your side but will let you know is she disagrees with something.

I have several good friends and relations, but probably two who are the closest.

BlueBelle Mon 24-Feb-20 10:49:35

Loyalty, similar ideas, someone who cares and who I care about and who I can laugh with
I have three such friends in real life and one online very lucky

Callistemon Mon 24-Feb-20 10:48:28

Someone who doesn't gossip if you tell them a confidence.
Or, if you tell them something innocuous, then twists it into something else and tells the world.

Grandmafrench Mon 24-Feb-20 10:40:59

OK, looking for a friend, Missfoodlove?!?!?!?!?! At least you're honest, eh? Not a holiday home, this is where I live. Sorry - 16 years in Normandy and 4 now in Herault. Never let go of that (British?) sense of humour, I think that can make you a good friend to almost anyone!

Missfoodlove Mon 24-Feb-20 10:36:17

Humour, empathy, discretion and a holiday home in the South of France😉

Grandmafrench Mon 24-Feb-20 10:27:13

I totally agree, loyalty is really important. So is a sense of humour, empathy and DISCRETION.

TrendyNannie6 Mon 24-Feb-20 10:21:53

A good friend to me is someone that is loyal. Through good times and bad, someone who agrees to disagree, that has a good sense of humour, that doesn’t take herself seriously, or himself, and someone that you can relax with and totally be yourself, I’m very lucky I have two of these friends, one is a lifelong friend from childhood, and another spans over 20 years