Gransnet forums

Chat

Sheltered housing

(10 Posts)
Karmakarma Tue 03-Mar-20 18:28:02

I've just moved into sheltered housing and not liking it. Help!

travelsafar Tue 03-Mar-20 18:28:30

why dont you like it??

Karmakarma Tue 03-Mar-20 18:29:02

Just moved into sheltered housing. Everyone is a lot older than me and I'm getting a bit depressed....

travelsafar Tue 03-Mar-20 18:43:38

Oh dear. Have you got younger friends to out and about with. Remember those people were not always old, maybe try having a chat with some of them, they may love the idea of a younger person taking an interest in them and listening to what they have to say. They may surprise you. |I knew a really old lady who lived to be over 100, she did use to get confused sometimes but what a life she had had. In her more lucid moments she told me she worked for MOD during the war and it was all hush hush. Thankfully she didnt go into details about the work she did, but it was interesting to hear about how they were picked and the security that was involved in her going to work and getting into the offices. I also knew a lady about 12 years ago who had been a nurse in the 1st world war she had plenty of tales to tell. I hope you settle down it is early days yet.

FlexibleFriend Wed 04-Mar-20 12:00:32

Is that so different from anywhere, I live in a house but most of my neighbours are elderly and most of them were here before me and I've lived here for twenty years. Most of us don't rely on our neighbours for friends.

Susan56 Wed 04-Mar-20 12:11:45

I have always found any house move difficult.Anything new takes a bit of getting used to.Hopefully once you get to know your neighbours and what’s going on in the area you will feel better💐

geekesse Wed 04-Mar-20 13:33:14

Try breaking it down to specific things. I don’t like Mrs Bloggs next door because she’s a gossip, I don’t like the view from the window because it’s dull, I don’t like the kitchen because it’s too small etc. Then for each one, write down one thing you can do to address that. For example, ask Mrs Bloggs to introduce me to Mrs X two doors along, put a row of flower bulbs in pots on the windowsill, take the kitchen stuff I don’t need any more to Oxfam. Try to do one positive thing each day to address something specific you don’t like, and then cross it off your list.

Old people are often much more interesting than younger people. They have had experiences, lived interesting lives, gained wisdom - get to know them and forget the age thing. It’s just as ageist to dismiss people as friends because of their age as it is to discriminate against them in the workplace!

pinkquartz Wed 04-Mar-20 13:42:30

I first moved into sheltered housing when i was 45.
I didn't like it either.

I did make friends and I moved out after 18 months.

Then 10 years later I moved back into a different sheltered housing. I didn't mind anymore. I have made friends with people older than me and I feel fine about it

I am thinking you need to give more details about what you don't like. Can you move out to a diiferent one? Is an age thing?

Sussexborn Wed 04-Mar-20 13:44:48

My Dad hated sheltered housing at first but after a few months said that it was like being on holiday every day! He was soon organising the gardeners group and started an afternoon darts team. He used to go round collecting the others if they needed assistance to get to the large living area.

One of his neighbours was partially sighted and needed a fair amount of help. The others used the apartment as a base and were off travelling 90% of the time. It will be what you make it and if, after a reasonable time you still hate it, you can always move out. It’s not a prison!

M0nica Thu 05-Mar-20 08:04:57

KarmaKarma Could you give more detail please? How long have you been there, what you do not like about it. Are you able to socialise outside the complex or are you disabled and limited in ability to move about.