How do I tell them/

Each individual who is able, taking care of their own health is probably a tiny step in the right direction to controlling the spread.

Just be forthright and refuse. I'm in the same boat. Take responsibility for your own health even if they don't like it.

GrandmaClampet please don't feel bad, they will understand eventually. The amount of information and it's transparency is shocking from our government and media, it's either all panic or nothing.

My parents keep wanting to come and see us, or look after the kids, particularly on mother's day, but my Dad has so many risk factors and the kids are most likely to pass it on without anyone knowing that I am encouraging them to stay away. Mother's Day is an arbitrary date, I can work extra hours from home so I can cover childcare. I would far rather this and both of them be around for next mother's and father's day

I’m so sorry they didn’t take it well OP.

As far as the other grandmother taking them, that’s a choice she has to make herself.

Gramdmaclampit ... you say the 'talk' about childcare didn't go down too well.
Where does that leave you? If you dont mind me asking g.
Also did anything in the budget help your son and dil find a solution?

True stillnotginger ... that will protect them against future illness.
But as I'm sure you meant, as they are carriers, the rest of us are at risk from the virus they have the capacity to spread!

".this virus doesnt seem to affect children" it does affect children, it just doesn't make (most of them) them ill. They are still carriers.

Very,very frightening,especially now ,senior doctors in Italy have said priority of care to go to younger people, who may survive.
My son 38,recognised a man he went to school with.The man has been teaching in China and came home two days ago.

get them to wash their hands before food and after .and esp after toilet time.plenty of tissues around the home for sneezes and runny noses.this virus doesnt seem to affect children. so maybe you should follow the same rules.my grandchildren have always had to wash/wipe hands and faces.so now is the time to teach them.

You shouldn’t feel bad at all, you’ve done exactly the right thing, and behaved responsibly. If we go into lockdown, no one will be going anywhere, so you may not have been needed anyway. Don’t feel bad, look after yourselves.

My son is a Dr who is an intensive care specialist. He has just stopped me looking after his little one or indeed seeing him or his family because the risks for us are too great. Family have a responsibility to each other. Keep yourself well for a few weeks now will give you perhaps years if babysitting in the future. Tell your son you cannot look after the children until the virus scare is over xx

What an utter nightmare all of this is. Who would have thought a few weeks ago that all this would kick off? Its like some science fiction film but unfortunately its all too real. Look after yourselves. X

Sorry to hear that Grandmaclampet. The outbreak is now officially a pandemic. The Brits will be moving to the 'delay' phase soon, says the News. Was told yesterday that the thing about high blood pressure being an issue is because ACE inhibitors, by the way they work on the body, provide an easy route for the virus to take hold on the individual. Check it out for yourselves GNs. Best wishes to all, wherever you are.

Already told them and met with not a very nice response.

They will already be making plans I’m sure.
You are all adults and it is a conversation.
Ask them in an inquisitive way rather than telling them “I’m aware we are much more vulnerable than most to this virus, we obviously need to have a plan to protect all of us”
I’ve just had that conversation myself.
Good luck ?

Don't feel terrible. You did right Your son and daughter in law should not be putting her mother at risk. But its absolutely nothing to do with you.

Isn’t this hard!
We hate letting them down, but in this case it is the sensible way.
I remember once when Paw’s illness meant we had to cancel a childcare occasion at short notice and I was so relieved to hear DD say “our children, our responsibility”.
Of course we will always do our best to rise to the occasion, especially in an emergency but there are lots of young families where GPs may be hundreds of miles away, or even no longer be alive - they have to make their own Plan B.
But the guilt is still there isn’t it?

Grandmaclampet do not feel terrible about this. You did not make that decision, your DIL did. Each one of us is responsible for making decisions about our own health and her mum will have to do the same.

Well, I have been made to feel like a proper cow! I explained that at our age and with our health my husband and I can not take the risk and so can not have the GC until this is all over. Once it has cleared we will happily take them again.
"Ok" I was told. "My mum will have them" She is older than me!
I feel terrible now and all this risk is now on DLs mum!

I agree with tanith they will understand.

I think Montymops son is right. Those who can especially older folk should be minimising contact now. I would not be caring for the gc at this point in time. Its a bit late to start taking precautions once the virus is in your area. Because by then there may have been contact. I think your children need to make other arrangements now. I think you all need to discuss this. Perhaps you could help temporarily with cost of childminding.

Really? Are sons/daughters saying your will have to look after grandchildren? How selfish. Don’t they think about the consequences to those that brought them up.

So many of us with this concern. Let’s hope we all stay safe and calm. It really is a worry. Say it as it is.

On Italy. Somewhere there is a balance between fear and common sense.

Within a few days, and certainly within 2 weeks, the only way to stop the spread is for all of us to presume everyone is an invisible carrier of the virus. Probably schools etc will have been shut down. It's going to be a very interesting social experiment, as people have to break many of their routines.

There is probably a five-day incubation period, when the person is less infectious but we don't know. So there is no safe hugging, or careless sneezing etc. For anybody.

ie You have to presume you have the virus and can pass it on. You have to presume everyone else has it. If we all do this, it will be stopped as soon as everyone has come out of health care or quarantine.

The world will not come to an end if the kids miss school or (most) jobs are not done. Hopefully there will be contingencies for essential service jobs.

I've just read what's happening in Italy. They are having to triage those with symptoms. There are not enough hospital beds to hold everyone. Our NHS is already overloaded. If I take care not to infect you, will you take care not to infect me?