How do I tell them/

It may not be you or DH who get it, it may be the parents! Tell then your concerns but surely they too will be anxious not to infect you. Childcare will be an issue all over if
schools start to close. Nurseries, childminders will all be affected too if staff have to go off sick. No one can predict so try not to worry, it may never happen.

Your children should know better than to ask, they need to sort childcare or stay at home.
Please don't put your life in danger, I told mine, no way.
Likelihood is that they've passed it to you anyway, as there's probably thousands incubating it in the next 10-14 days.
Then the kids will break up for easter and contaminate anyone they see.
Open your eyes and read up, we're too late, it will be in your town by the hundreds.

You haven't said how old they are.
If they are 10 and above, they may well have learnt from tv and school what is happening - most if not all schools are teaching children about hand washing etc.
Children younger, there is no reason that you can't teach them and insist, at least while they are in your house the hand washing , not touching your face, their faces etc and explain that there is a nasty illness going around and it could make you and grandpa really poorly if you caught it.
I think you yourself are getting the wrong idea - runny nose etc is not what you need to be worried about - it's the dry cough that can be a problem.

I would sit them down and have a chat with them. I have just done this with my grandchildren (16, 13 and 10) to explain that, although they hopefully won't be at risk, I am in the age group that is at risk and that they need to be more careful in washing their hands and not coughing/sneezing without covering their mouth/nose - I also had to point it out to my daughter as well as she forgets how old I actually am (and she admits it ) I am sure they will be as concerned for your health too and you will give them time to make alternative arrangements if the virus does reach your area, they may have to take time off work themselves in any case.

Make it explicit to them. If you get infected and it goes badly - they will be paying by the hour for all their child care (check locally what people pay!) as there will be no possibility of you helping from heaven! The government has just announced some measures to help people who cannot go to work cope financially for a short time. There must be other parents or informal arrangements they could look at for this one off situation. If they don't see reason I'd think very seriously about minding for them. The message would be 'my job is more important than your life'. I think the fact that the word 'flu' has been used in connection with this has done a lot of harm. This is not at all a 'flu' (and that's bad enough).

H. Ladies - one of my daughters has just got back from Phuket and Thailand - had checks re temperature everywhere they went . So got back to Heathrow they all thought they would be tested - especially as the plane from Phuket had so many Italians on - sorry Italians I do like you but not near me at the moment - well nobody was tested - !!!! So now they are all wondering around and could infect us - I know we could pick it up at the supermarket but the news has been saying they are testing them when they come back. So now one of my other daughters has said we shouldn’t see her for two weeks just in case as we are over 65. It really is beyond believe when we are all trying to protect ourselves that they weren’t tested. Anyway I am sad I won’t see her but think it’s for the best .

I find that they do work out in the end Marjgran, by saying that I do not mean that we all end up living on a rainbow eating chocolate cakes and counting our pots of gold; things will work out either the way we want them to or maybe the way we fear or in a third way a way we don’t expect. Having spent a lifetime worrying about everything, I have realised that whatever way it goes we are equipped to deal with it even if it’s not what we wanted or expected or have the confidence or belief that we can or have the inner strength. I have also found that in the worst of times people come out of the woodwork people who can be a stranger or someone known to you but who offers help or provides it without prompting out of the blue, so I have realised too that we are not alone in this world; good things can happen even when tradgedy strikes.

Sympathies, OP. I hope the situation will work out with the least possible worry for you. In your situation, esp. given your husband’s state of health, it would seem utterly inadvisable for you to be running unnecessary risks.

Must say I’m very thankful that dd is on maternity leave until November, so that even if the elder two’s reception/pre school were closed, it wouldn’t be a problem - except of course for keeping them sufficiently occupied.

Armoria

COVID 19 is NOT a new strain of flu. It is not simply a strain of flu

It is a corona virus. And a new one so no-one has immunity

I agree that those of us with underlying conditions should be taking safe precautions anyway.

I put this to my DD yesterday and had a very negative response from her. She doesn't understand, like many people that I am worn out by having a succession of viruses on top of 4 chronic conditions I don't want to catch any more what ever they are called.
I certainly do not want to die yet.

Namsnanny and Grosvenor, about 10 posts down from the original OP farview wrote: "One serious post...one funny post...hmmm" and several posts later the OP replied to that comment.

The 'funny' post was a quiz type question and another poster, I think it was oopsadaisy (although apologies if I am wrong) got the answer almost straight away , so you may not have seen it as it has probably dropped off the bottom of the Active list.

Bussy - “things always work out in the long run”. Hmmmmmmmmmm

I am in a similar position, I am 53 my immune system is compromised due to a medical condition and I will be very vulnerable if Coronavirus comes to our town. I take all three of my grandchildren at different times during the week two babies and a 7 yr old ( not all at the same time ) I think the reality is communities will have to pull together and maybe neighbours or other available persons could take turns watching children who have to be looked after because if schools close the nursery’s will close also. Your son / daughter in laws? should already have put plans in place given that they know your health situation and should be monitoring the school and work situation; If this virus really does become a living reality on the scale they are predicting we would have to return to wartime strategies to look after the children, the sick and the vulnerable, unfortunately I am not convinced that there are many people out there who would actually care enough to help a fellow human being but then there are many good people who will help. Off topic but I think the people we need to be acknowledging are all of the first responders and the doctors, carers and nurses who are exposing themselves multiple times every day to the virus. It will work out don’t worry things always do in the long run.

I wrote to my MP about the "plans" for the elderly.. whether or not they are living alone... I just got a Government splurge.

I’ve told my daughter that we will look after the children if their school closes. We are in 60s and I have asthma, but my daughter and SiL are doctors and will be needed themselves. We all have to do our bit.

Haven't read anything remotely funny yet. What's the joke?

I’m in a similar situation, as we’re due to have the GC at Easter for a week. Luckily our son is already aware of our underlying health problems and has said they will make other arrangements, if the virus has really drastically spread by then. It’s await and see situation.
I had the pneumonia jab (three years ago) and have had pneumonia twice. It doesn’t work for viral pneumonia only the bacterial one. So don’t just rely on it.

Hopefully the gesture/consideration will come from your children rather than being instigated by you. I've no doubt they will be aware of the consequences both emotional and practical of not having you long term rather than short should the latter prove necessary. Try not to worry but stay alert to what's going on in your area. Good luck (to all of us)

Arrange other care of course but please don't tell them it could kill you! I know we older people are more vulnerable, but I would do anything rather than frighten my grandchildren into thinking that I might die soon. Time enough for that unhappiness when the day does come.

Granmaclampit ... what did you mean about having a sense of humour?
Is the op a wind up?

Our daughter, son-in-law and baby grandson have booked to fly over here from New York on Good Friday and stay for a week. We are desperate to see them, as we haven’t seen the baby in the flesh since he was 3 weeks old and he is 9months now.
However, I was quite ill for 3months from mid-December with a nasty chest infection, which I think may have been pneumonia and am still feeling quite frail. I have had 3 lots of antibiotics and one course of steroids, so my immune system is very low. As I am also asthmatic and have atrial fibrillation, if I caught the virus it could finish me off! My husband was ill first and passed it on to me, but he doesn’t have any underlying health problems and has recovered completely.
We would love to see them, but I think the risk could be too great. They could easily pick up something on the plane, or already be incubating the illness when they arrive, without having any symptoms and pass it on to us. As my son-in-law said, the airlines are reducing their prices as people are afraid to fly, so if they booked their flight for later in the year they could save money.
I think our only option is to postpone their visit for the moment, even though we would love to see our grandson in the flesh before he gets much older.
What do other Gransnetters think we should do?

The complacent posts make me despair. Listen to the chief medical officer and the doctors. This is not comparable to flu because the context is different - it may be comparable to flu in future years but not now. It is entirely new to humans there is no immunity. When it reaches large numbers it becomes a major public health issue. The estimate is that 10% of those infected will be sick enough to need hospital treatment. Of those, if treated, few die and mainly elderly with other conditions, but not solely - medical staff are especially at risk because they are likely to get a bigger dose of virus. If those hospitalised are a large group, emergency services are paralysed and other routine critical illnesses (heart attacks, strokes) won’t get treatment. Each new unexpected case (ie those that don’t come through 111) lead to several medical staff self isolating, reducing the personnel in the hospitals. We owe it to the community to slow the infection rates down so that we can cope. Grrrrr

I'm 79, I suffer from asthma, diabetes and hypertension. I am fit and all my conditions are under control. Life is going to kill me at some point. I can't be expected to worry about a virus. I'm not stupid and won't take risks but my life will carry on as normal for as long as it is.

My son is a consultant surgeon and is very worried about us getting this virus - we are in the vulnerable age group with some other health problems. He has said we should restrict all meetings and visits. If possible to get food delivered. His hospital has ramped up the preparations for an influx of patients but as in Italy, it will be only those who have a good chance of recovery that will get an itu bed. Those under 65. Others will be left to their own devices. So all in all - could be pretty grim for oldies.

Let me first say that I understand both your concern and guilt but there has been so much hype and hysteria about this virus it has got people into a real tizz that perspective is being a little lost.

Let's put things into context. Covid-19 is not the bubonic plague, ebola or anthrax. It is a new strain of flu. Each year the W.H.O. literally makes a best guess at which flu strains will be prevalent and advises the vaccine manufacturers to make up the vaccines accordingly. So contrary to popular belief the yearly flu vaccine does not protect against every strain of flu therefore even in the normal course of events you could become infected by a strain not included in the vaccine and become seriously ill or worse. This is exactly the same as covid-19, it is simply a strain of flu, like the others not included in the vaccine you had in 2019. All strains of flu have the potential to kill and sadly thousands fall victim to it every year, remember the shocking scenes on TV and reports in the media last year of ambulances queuing to get into hospitals and beds in corridors and the NHS falling apart because of a unexpected sharp rise in winter flu cases?

Children are little germ factories and could theoretically pass on to you any number of other viruses that could make you gravely ill with you and your husband's underlying health conditions and not just covid-19. We don't have natural immunity to every single virus.

So moving forward I would firstly recommend ensuring that your pneumonia vaccine is up to date because this is the real danger of covid-19 for people with underlying conditions, The vast majority of fatalities have been caused by respiratory distress eg pneumonia.

Secondly I would make sure the children wash their hands upon arrival. Make it the very first thing they do and sing one of the 20 second songs to make sure the hand washing is done properly and fun. You could also pop some antibac spray on their hands too. Teach them to cough or sneeze into a tissue or arm and to throw tissue away and wash hands immediately. If they are too young to wipe their own noses then don a pair of latex gloves when you wipe it for them, bin the gloves and wash hands.

To be honest if you are looking after small children and have compromised health then you should be doing this anyway regardless of the existence of covid-19 because as you quite rightly said, children carry all sorts of germs.

If you are looking after the children so the parents don't have to be burdened with the full cost of childcare and you really don't feel comfortable having them if covid-19 crops up in your area then to ease your guilt would it be possible to help pay towards a childminder for the duration? I think it is a conversation that you need to have with the parents sooner rather than later and a plan B worked out for the children's care not least because what happens if you become ill or hospitalised at some point due to one of your existing conditions? Knowing there is a plan B already worked out would relieve a lot of stress and guilt on both sides at a time when you could do without it.

Good wishes to you and your family in whatever you decide to do.

Dear Grandmaclampet you should not have to tell them, they should do it out of respect for you. Both my children have to work along side their partners and one thing you have to remember your grandchildren are not your responsibility they are THEIRS. I too have children and help in an emergency only or arranged one off babysitting. Children today expect their parents to take on their responsibilities to their children and it is wrong, grandparents are more and more made to feel guilty so do it. I have wonderful relationships with all 4 grandsons, ages range from 2 to 6 years, I feel because I spend quality time with them, not time because i have too. My children have used trusted childminders and nursery with absolute no problems. The grandsons have enjoyed playing with other children. If you are in poor health and find it too much your children should look for alternate child care.