Let's see if we can make each other laugh

Guy goes for job at zoo. Told to feed the fish, next day all the fish are dead. He is moved over to feed the chimps, next day all the chimps are dead. As a last resort, they move him over to look after the bees, next day all the bees are dead. A new lion moves in and says to his mate, hello, what’s it like in here then. The other lion says, it’s mostly ok apart from the food. What wrong with the food says new lion. Well, all we get is fins, chimps and mushy bees.

They are great and keep them coming. Sorry I cannot think of one right now, so I will return later after consulting the grand kids on the phone. X

Thanks Chewbacca, great idea

CardiffJaguar I spluttered coffee everywhere after reading your Trump joke!

Thinking cap on.
I could be some time

(spoiler alert, this is an old one) A man owns a parrot that can't stop swearing.

So he says to him, 'If you don't stop swearing, I'll put you in the fridge.'

The parrot keeps on swearing. So he puts it in the fridge.

Five minutes later, he takes the parrot out of the fridge, and says to it, 'Are you going to stop swearing?
''Yes,' says the parrot. 'But what did that chicken do?'

There's an old man walking along the street at two in the morning.

He's stumbling a bit and holding a glass. So the police stop him and ask him where he's going.

'To a lecture.'

'At two in the morning?' asks the policeman. 'What's the lecture on?'

'Smoking and drinking,' the old man says.

'Who's giving it?'

'My wife.'

Queueing for the Seniors’ shopping hour, at 7.45 yesterday, a young man crossed the car park and tried to go to the front of the queue. An old lady hit him with her stick, and chased him away.
A few minutes later he came back, and again tried to push in. An elderly gentleman punched him in the stomach, kicked him, and pushed him away.
Undeterred, he came back again. This time he said, “If you don’t let me unlock the doors no-one will get their shopping done today!

Donald Trump was in Japan.

Someone mentioned Pearl Harbour. He denied ever meeting her...

BettyBoop49. I love it and so will your granddaughter. I have been 'forced' on occasion to participate in TikToks with my 10 year old granddaughter too, they are so fast.

I've been wondering why toilet rolls are disappearing from the shops, until someone explained to me - If one person coughs, a hundred people shit themselves!!

That cracked me up Patticake!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3851080-Funny-memes?msgid=94776688

this is more "gallows humour"

Love it Patticake123 ??

love it, made we chuckle.

Im 70, short and round and not massively fit but nevertheless I'm learning a TikTok dance so that i can make a video and send it to my grandaughter on her 8th birthday. I cant be there but i can be certain to make her laugh!
If you don't know what TikTok is- Google it?

Whoever said one person cannot change the world, never ate an undercooked bat!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6wMWdxXXvo
Morcombe and Wise dancing Swan Lake

Love this idea and the jokes so far. Am now racking my brains for one that has no unacceptable words in it.

try this sister page very funny

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3592712-the-mega-meme-thread

Three hard of hearing old men sat on a park bench.

The first one said “It’s windy today, isn’t it?”

The second one said “Wednesday? I thought it was Thursday”

The third one said “Thirsty? Well, let’s go to the pub”

???

Here's a timely one; "I must have had too much to drink last night, I can't remember coming home from the kitchen!"

Ha ha
Love it
Thanks
Junie