Let's see if we can make each other laugh

Just heard that one of our neighbours was taken away in an ambulance last night and has been put on one of the new Dyson ventilators. He's now picking up nicely ...

Had a dream last night that I was visited by the Grim Reaper. I fought him off with the vacuum cleaner. It was really scary, I had been Dyson with death.

A suspected Covid-19 patient is lying in his hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. A young female student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse," he wheezes from behind the mask "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed the young nurse replies "I don't know sir I'm just here to wash your upper body and feet".
He struggles again "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Poor young nurse doesn't want him raising his blood pressure so she lifts his gown and holds his testicles gently in her hand and assures him they look fine.
The man slowly pulls the mask from his face. "Thank you nurse, that was lovely but please listen closely "Are - my - test- results - back?"

Keep 'em coming peardrop; they're brilliant!

Chewbacca, family on our WhatsApp group trying to amuse us isolated oldies. Lots of hilarious videos but I don't know how to upload them here.

Where are you getting these from Peardrop!

Laughing a lot ladies. Some good uns here.

Breaking news.. ISIS suicide bomber kills himself and 78 other family members after deciding to work from home.

^Jones the farmer and his son Berwyn sign up for a sight-seeing tour in a small aircraft. As always, Jones angles for the best deal possible.
“Very well, Mr Jones,” says the pilot. “If you can go through the entire flight without making a sound, you and Berwyn can have your tickets for free.”
So the plane takes off and the pilot makes sure it’s a rough one, launching almost straight up, flying under the Severn Bridge, using every single bit of acrobatics in his repertoire and doing a loop at the end.
Jones says nothing. After they land, the pilot turns to Jones in disbelief.
“Mr Jones, I’ve been doing this for 20 years and no-one’s ever been able to hold back from screaming. Tell me, was there ever a point in the flight where you wanted to say something?”
“Aye,” Jones replies. “When Berwyn fell out.”

A tourist sauntered into a pub in Llandrindod Wells and said: “what's the quickest way to get to Brecon from here?
Rhodri the landlord answered: “Are you walking or going by car?”
The tourist answered: “By car, of course.”
Rhodri said: “Well, that's the quickest way.”

My husband couldn’t find me for a whole day, until he looked in the loft. I’d been self insulating! ??

If you see my kids locked outside today, mind your
business. We are having a fire drill. #HomeSchool

Annaram laughing so much at that!

How to confuse a labourer? Offer him a spade and a fork and ask him to take his pick.

An 80-year-old man is being examined by his doctor.

“Do you still have sex?” the doctor asks.

“Almost every day,” the old man answers.

“Can you be specific?” the doctor says.

“Yes,” says the old man. “Almost on Monday. Almost on Tuesday. Almost on Wednesday…”

For the same reason were still making jokes about the Scots, Welsh, Americans, death, sex, men, women, animals.... any subject on earth. Now please Suziewoozie, take your outrage elsewhere.

Donald Trump, Angela Merkel, Boris Johnson, Pope Francis, and a 10 year old school boy were all on a plane which was about to crash. There were only 4 parachutes. Trump says "I'm the smartest man in the world and I'm needed to make America great again," He takes one and jumps out. Boris says "I'm needed to sort out Britain," and he takes one and jumps out. The Pope says "I'm needed because the Catholic church needs me," and he takes one and jumps. Angela Merkel says to the boy "You can have the last parachute. I have lived my life and you are just starting yours." The boy replies "Don't worry, there are 2 parachutes left. The smartest man in the world took my schoolbag."

This is racist ... I am Irish please explain why, in the 21st Century you are still making 'Irish' jokes!?

Luv the comment, now know why there’s no toilet roll anywhere. Thanks so much for the laugh, these days all humour is appreciated.

Chatting one day with family about best way to get perfect boiled egg. My son announced

I boiled mine for 20 mins but it was still hard,

Oh, thank you so much all of you. Several laugh out loud moments, and giggle each time I remember it!

Alexa will tell you a joke on any subject.
Search YouTube for Fascinating Aida singing ‘Dogging’ - rude but funny, should cheer you up.

Took me a minute there Peardrop!

Burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night, must remember to use aloha temperature in future.

I saw Paul from the Chucklebrothers yesterday, he was a bit close to me so I said "Oi two metre you"

One for today