Are you self aware?

Gillybob I can relate to the photo thing. I never take a good picture always seem to have several chins and midriff bulge. I know that really I am slim with lovely luxurious hair

I know many of my friends see me as ‘confrontational’ but I call it ‘standing up for myself’. However, if they have something to complain about I am often asked to draft letters for them!

But annodomini those of us who have met you would say that you're an easy person to make a friend of and that you've overcome your natural shyness very well.

I am quite fortunate. I spent my childhood being descibed as awkward and difficult - and suffering for it - but I always absolutely agreed with that description. I was always at odds with the adults in my life and even other children found me strange.

They are/were probably right, I always seem to look at things from an opposite view to most other people. I have never felt more than a passing desire to conform to what people thought I ought to be. I did try it once or twice but, I didn't enjoy it.

However it hasn't stopped me having a happy life. I am quite self-contained, I have a good friends, a happy marriage, marvellous children and I had a successful career and lots of outside interests. I have always been content to be myself, warts and all, and take the flak that ensued.

I do not really understand why other people spend so much time worrying about themselves and trying to be what other people want them to be. You are who you are. If there is something that you do not like about yourself that you can change, then change it. If you can't, just adjust to it.

As a child I was shy and ever since have found it quite difficult to make friends. I have, in the past, overcome the shyness and taken on a number of roles where I had to speak either in public or to large groups. But that was the public image.

My sibling bullied and bullied me for years about being " fat".

My mother constantly criticised my weight, constantly.

Anybody used Snag tights? Now there is a bunch of varied body shapes and they look happy and confident.

Never believe that anyone has it 'all sorted'

It was an eureka moment for me when someone commented offhand to me; 'but you are OK you are so self confident', but I wasn't. I just put a good face on it.

I suddenly realised that everyone who appeared confident and sorted wasn't really, they had their problems but always put on a 'good face' because they found it worked, which of course made me feel self confident as well as appear to be. It is a benevolent circle.

I'm surprised when people have told me that I come across as confident and sure of myself, when in fact I am the opposite.
I'm solitary, introverted and have huge mood swings and generally hate myself. So it must be that I am a good actress.

Monica that is what I meant. I never said I cared about what others think, I was saying that I think others see me differently than how I feel.

So interesting to hear all this. It appears that most of us have “hang-ups “ so maybe all the types we come across who seems to have it all sorted possibly don’t?

I thought being self aware, meant knowing yourself and being honest with yourself about who and what you are, good and bad. I never think of it as being anything to do with how other people perceive you.

What does it matter what other people think of you providing you are true to yourself?

I am also an only child and came from a very tense and divided household. This caused me to be very watchful of other people and stoical in the extreme. My DH had a similar background but coped by being gregarious and outgoing. So I think other people perceive me as quiet and aloof and himself as charming. Not sure if we would have been different if we had happier childhoods.

I think most people like me better than I like myself. I can't get through a whole day without saying something ridiculously stupid. I'm anxious, quite defensive and beat myself up for every little mistake but I love my friends and little family dearly and I know I am a trustworthy, caring and loyal person despite being very capable of being a bitch at times.

Interesting.
As an only child I was very shy and retiring and had to be persuaded to do anything. I thought everyone was watching me which of course wasn't the case! I went to boarding school and had to come out of my shell to survive. Very often I try to see myself as I imagine others do and I don't like it. Outspoken on occasions, bossy, loud, weird sense of humour, selfish......well that's what I see but would like to hear otherwise from my nearest & dearest!

I absolutely hate my photograph taken and will go to the ends of the earth to avoid a camera . I have the sort of face that spoils nice photos . I have very low self esteem which probably stems from childhood.

Bearing the above in mind I have always made sure to tell my children and grandchildren how fantastic and beautiful they are and how much they are loved.

Also I’m pretty sure my view of myself as fat comes from childhood when my mother allowed my brothers to call me fatty. I wasn’t skinny, sure, but certainly not fat.

Boheminan. You could be me talking.! I only used the words self aware as I couldn’t think how else to express it!
Oh but I hate photos of myself.....

Me too, Lucca People seem to see me as confident and outgoing, and I seem always to be drawn into organising things. In reality, I hate imposing my will on others or interrupting when someone else is laying down the law or doing something in a way that is obviously going to be disastrous. I wish I was either a sheep who can't work out where the best grass is, or a wolf who eats meat and doesn't care what the sheep thinks about that.

An interesting change of topic Lucca.

I've never been quite sure what 'self aware' means, all I know is that I'm nothing like the person I'm told I am! Who is this confident, unafraid woman imposter that walks, talks and lives in my skin? And photographs lie - that slim smiling woman cannot be this enormous, grouchy, wrinkled monster....

Ah well, people see things from their own viewpoint.

I was adopted into a family of small people, so always thought of myself as a big gallumphing person.
On the family photos I’m head and shoulders above everyone.

My gigantic OH however often pats me on the head in passing and calls me his “little thing”,