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Are we getting a bit low?

(108 Posts)
Craftycat Mon 27-Apr-20 12:39:33

I have noticed on these boards the last few days that more of us are sounding fed up & worried & generally low.
I know this business has gone on for long enough now & we all want to get back to normal. I am lucky that I am able to drive to supermarket when needed ( & I am shopping for more elderly neighbours too) so I am getting out more than just daily walk.
We're getting there- they are looking at when we will be able to get back to normal.
The weather has been lovely ( well in South anyway)
We are probably getting to know our neighbours better than ever before- even if it is from 6' apart.
There are some cracking series on TV for a change.
The gardens are looking great & we have time to do the gardening.
Only problem I have personally is having DH around all the time- I know he wants to get back to work too & I will be very glad to see him off on that wonderful day. I will then tidy the house & it will stay that way for the day & I will have coffee when I want it & hopefully get to see my friends & DGC again.
Think positive!!! We're nearly there.

Sheilasue Tue 28-Apr-20 11:23:28

Trying to keep positive but weather has changed to day.
I know w e need the rain for the gardens but I won’t be able to do my half hourly walk if it keeps hammering down like it is.
Supposed to be better by Friday, fingers crossed.

Jomarie Tue 28-Apr-20 11:26:25

Reading that other Grans are feeling the same (or very similar) as me is comforting - I've never found the phrase "there's plenty of people far worse off than you" any help at all throughout my life - that is a fact and we know it's true but not particularly helpful when one is feeling particularly down. I think that's why these posts are helpful/comforting because no-one (so far - I might be wrong) has been patronising and saying "pull yourself together" type things. I'm having down days and ok days - I can't say I've had any particularly uplifting days since the lockdown but have had found my inner actress when it comes to facetime with 7 year old grandson, which happens most days, so those moments are definitely uplifting come to think of it. I'm rambling so will stop now. grin

kwest Tue 28-Apr-20 11:28:46

I think this post may be in itself depressing to some people.
To be alone and not know when that person will see family again is very challenging regardless of how resourceful they may be.
To be together with a much loved partner can seem like an unexpected bonus ( the reason for it is very frightening of course) but hiding in the self-made bubble can be very comforting.
To be stuck indoors with a disagreeable and unpleasant partner with no let-up, is probably the worst scenario.
But at the end of the day we must do what we must do to pay homage to the brave people risking their lives for us on a daily basis. Staying in is not the worst option on offer.
We've all had a chance to have a moan, and that can be very therapeutic, but now it is time to 'grow a backbone' and make the best of things.

Coconut Tue 28-Apr-20 11:31:07

This is my mantra ....

annehinckley Tue 28-Apr-20 11:34:25

What are these 'cracking series' on TV? I've not found any - and I'd like to!

felice Tue 28-Apr-20 11:35:18

Yes I know Hetty, which is why I do not understand why I am feeling like this.
I have been trying to keep busy, getting Quizzes done and stored, planning new menus and trying out new recipes with DGS, he makes mini Sausage Rolls to sell for Christian Aid every year and we have been trying variations on a theme.
Son-in-Law is off this week, he is burned out, so taken a week off. he is a grumpy bugger at the best of times and can moan for Belgium so that is not helping !!!!!!!
Ach,,,,,,, thanks for letting me have a moan, it will all come right in the end I am sure, stay safe.

Callistemon Tue 28-Apr-20 11:55:40

If you're trying out new recipes, we can always do taste testing on GN felice.

Mini sausage rolls, mmmm, I have a yen for some right now.

Callistemon Tue 28-Apr-20 11:57:46

felice I had a real downer on Sunday and missed the family so much. I see other granny enjoying time with them, I'm glad they are but sometimes I get a bit [green] and I shouldn't, its destructive.

Callistemon Tue 28-Apr-20 11:58:56

And other granny with the ones overseas too. Goodness knows when I'll see them again.

LinDe Tue 28-Apr-20 12:00:41

The world as we know it will change, things will not be the same in the "new" normal, when it happens. There are too many people who will have lost loved ones, and a lot more people suffering mental health issues from having been in lock down. I am trying to volunteer to help isolated people through phone calls as I really need someone to talk to on a daily basis, but it is so difficult to get accepted into these schemes.

LinDe Tue 28-Apr-20 12:12:18

I did read something which was really helpful and I am going to try! What the lady said was that what you think about really matters. What you let into your brain really matters. Flooding your brain 24/7 with the news is not helpful, but 5 mins a day is. Flooding your brain with thoughts that don't feel good is not helpful, but thoughts that do feel good, is. Your thoughts matter because what you think ultimately generates how you feel. If you want to feel calm, you need to think calming thoughts. If you want to feel peaceful you need to think peaceful thoughts. So if you have thoughts that are not working for you, that are creating fear or anxiety, write them down, then take a look at them and ask yourself if you would say those things to a friend, likely the response is a no. Then ask yourself "how can I think about this differently?" Challenge yourself to do that and see how, when your thoughts change, you feel better.

Not easy, but worth a try!

GrannyLaine Tue 28-Apr-20 12:19:52

Agree with most of posters above that we're nowhere near an end yet. As a family, we are coping pretty well with the situation though all of my AC are facing really difficult, but different, challenges.
What really worries me the the constant carping by the public, fuelled by the media, for details of an exit strategy. Over the weekend we hear reports of people travelling to beauty spots because they somehow believe that the lockdown is being eased and they interpret that to fit their own perceived needs.
I remember very clearly that the Government were cautious about introducing lockdown too soon for the very reason that its such a big thing to ask the public to do, and that people can only tolerate it for so long. They were absolutely right about that.
I think we still have a very long way to go

BoBo53 Tue 28-Apr-20 12:25:54

Bless you Artdecogran you are obviously really suffering. Please try to be gentle on yourself and take each day as it comes. Try to plan something new to do or try out every day and keep in regular touch with your family who I'm sure are not thinking of the financial benefit of your demise! Stay safe and well, things will get better! ???

Niobe Tue 28-Apr-20 12:33:01

We used to look after our GS two ,or sometimes more , days a week with his other grandparents doing the other days but now we can only see him on FaceTime. He turns 2 next week and instead of a family get together it will be a Zoom party!

He attends nursery now as my son is a key worker and I realised that by the time everything is back to normal he will be attending nursery at least 3 days a week and us GPS will be lucky to get him 1 day each. I console myself that he is happy and he really needs the company of children his own age.

Apart from that I am not at all bothered by lockdown as we get out for at least an hour every day to walk and the garden is getting in shape too. I have had the virus but as far as we know my husband has not and without an Antigen test I can’t know for certain that I have sufficient antibodies to be immune. My roses from David Austin are en route and will come in the next day or solo I can look forward to that at least.
Like others I think we are in for a long haul until a vaccine is available.

BlueSky Tue 28-Apr-20 12:38:23

Some days you read something and become quite optimistic then you hear something else which is the opposite and you are back to square one. I don't think there is any other solution than follow official advice and take a day at the time. Easier for those of us who don't have to work or worry about the mortgage but of course we worry about our DC and DGC being in that predicament.

Greeneyedgirl Tue 28-Apr-20 12:40:28

Persistent thoughts do affect your mood LinDe, and it can be quite difficult to control your thoughts in a positive way, especially for those who have a very busy mind and an anxious personality.
I have always been anxious, inherited from an anxious mother, and early life experiences I suspect.
Thankfully, and especially helpful at this time, I have been able personally to remain content and calm, whilst not ignoring the seriousness of the situation. I am concerned about family, and those working on the front line of course.
Hoever I have found that learning to practice mindfulness/meditation over the last four years, has really helped me manage my emotions, so it is possible to change, but it does take practice. I can't recommend it enough. There are a few on line courses. I find Future Learn good for free ones.
Thanks for highlighting this.

EllanVannin Tue 28-Apr-20 12:45:46

Interestingly it was on the news before that Australia are trialling BCG vaccinations ( I wonder if they read my post last week about BCG vaccinations grin ) which I'm all for.
I've always been keen to follow Australian ways of certain treatments etc and applaud them since looking after my daughter when she broke her hip badly on New Years Eve.

She was operated on next day, new hip fitted and within 2 days was home ! A month later crutches to one side and just a stick, then a couple of months on, no stick and more or less back to normal. She's 59 so not young in the sense of the word.

Ironically an English/British surgeon.

Taichinan Tue 28-Apr-20 12:55:55

An interesting thread, and like most people I believe an 'end' is nowhere in sight. I remember one of the government advisers saying "This virus isn't going to go away". In other words, we're going to have to find a way to live with it, and the only way we can do that is by developing both a vaccine and a cure. The best estimate I've heard is that that could be 12-18 months away. I'm sure there will be some 'relaxations' and I'd love to see them find a way for children, particularly the teens, to get back to school, but the best thing we seniors can do for our beloved children and grandchildren is to keep out of the way. It's unbearably sad that we can't hug them all, but the most important thing, for the future of mankind no less, is to do what we have to do to protect them. They are the future, not us.

BlueSky Tue 28-Apr-20 12:59:22

Greeneyedgirl same here I'm usually the world's worst worrier but this time I'm as calm as can be under the circumstances.

Annecan Tue 28-Apr-20 13:15:24

Unfortunately, although many people are not finding lockdown bad, and some are actually enjoying it, there are very serious consequences, and the longer this lasts the worse it will be.
The NHS is managing, to the detriment of many people who are failing to seek the help they need.
Public sector workers and those on protected pensions have no economic fears.
But, many many people will lose their jobs, get ill, suffer loneliness, isolation and deteriorating mental health.
We are facing a massive economic downturn...and who always suffers the most in those circumstances.?..
The poor.
I for one hope lockdown ends soon.
I do not want to kill anyone and I am not a heartless b.. (before anyone starts screaming at me)
But we are going to be in the biggest mess this country has seen in decades if this goes on much longer

GlamGran59 Tue 28-Apr-20 13:15:52

Artdecogran My message was a general comment that some folk are optimists while others are pessimists. I too have many 'problems' but I try and have an optimistic outlook. It doesn't make me right and someone else's view wrong. Craftycat feels optimistic about the future and she is entitled to that view.

Lucy127 Tue 28-Apr-20 13:22:34

Was enjoying all the posts and then commercial advert popped up for Funeral Directors funeral plan. Oh please not on here. I’ve just lost my rock, my best and oldest friend to cv. Last thing I wanted to see. I love this site but not ads if that nature please. Sorry if I sound super sensitive at mo, but that’s because I am.

Sussexborn Tue 28-Apr-20 13:30:47

I now avoid the people who put negative slants on every topic. I feel sorry for them as their lives must be so much harder than need be but don’t intend to get dragged into their murky world.

Most of the time I am fine. I’m an avid reader so bury myself in stories. Currently reading The New Achilles (Christian Cameron) and all the names of Greek Islands started me thinking we must go there, only to realise that is unlikely to happen probably until next year. Still no point in dwelling on the negatives as it won’t change anything.

Worth going on YouTube as there are lots of free relaxation, anxiety reducing and sleep recordings to choose from. I try to find sleep ones that last about 30-45 minutes . Check some out to see if the voice is right for you as this makes a big difference.

A work psychologist told me you need to be open minded, have some imagination and be reasonably intelligent for these therapies to work. Even if you don’t consider yourself any of those things give it a try. There’s nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain. A colleague of mine was totally scathing until she tried one and much to her dismay it worked!

melp1 Tue 28-Apr-20 13:36:14

Agree with Jane 1956 - China has to be held account for the outbreak. I'm going to try my hardest not to purchase anything from China but its extremely difficult. Went to get some mealworms for the birds the other day and it said made in China on the packet?
I think Britain has to do more manufacturing and stop relying on products from abroad.

ALANaV Tue 28-Apr-20 13:37:05

The biggest threat to our sanity is constant 'up dates; from the government which are REALLY not necessary ...we are all adults and hopefully sensible enough to know what we need to do so as not to be a danger to ourselves or others......so PLEASE stop treating everyone like children. It IS time for there to be some semblance of normality again before the country becomes a dictatorship. There were warnings, as doctors and health professionals have told people, about this 'illness' and the need to prepare just in case ….the government poo pooed the idea thinking they (well, Boris in particular) were above listening to medical and scientific advice, and so did nothing ...well, except refuse offers of PPE manufactured in the UK and as the government said no, was then sold to Europe …...they have now created mass hysteria which is damaging to everybody. For the sake of the health and economics of the nation yes, it IS time to ease the lockdown. The predicted need for the huge Nightingale Hospitals has not yet materialised. The government would be best advised to ease lockdown but to make sure preparations are in place in case there is a second wave later in the year ….which no one can predict with any certainty. Oh, and let us have someone ADULT and sensible in power not someone who refers to COVID 19 as 'just like being mugged'.....I despair