Soop's kitchen refuge for the sharing of...

We havvirtually attended the funeral of my late husband. My eldest son's tribute was spot on. We were able to see our granddaughter (with large tummy) and Mila and other members of the family. It was a great comfort. MacSporran and I are sharing a wee dram and having a gentle hug.

Annaliese, I've just read your posts and can understand what you and your husband are going through. I'd sad for you and him that his deterioration has been so fast. It sounds as if you are not getting the support you need. The local Social Services seem to have insufficient understanding of the impact MND has , not only on the patient but also on his family. There should be a support network. Maybe it varies from one area to another.I'm sure you have been on to the MND Association. I would expect that help would be available from their Area Support Coordinators and, from the Association Visitors who are able to give advice and support. I don't think that being told to choose a care agency from a list is very supportive and you both need and deserve more. It may be that the Covid situation is making it difficult for local networks to keep in contact, but even telephone or arms-length help would be better.
Thinking of you at this trying time, and hoping that you will find better support. I do know, from my own family's experience, the toll that MND can take on you both and your daughter.

corner my condolences on the death of your friend ???

corner,I am so sorry to hear your sad news.Even though it was expected,it is still a shock when it actually happens.Sending you much love?

Grandmafrench,like you the news is reducing me to tears.I just feel so sad for so many people.

Like soop,I endorse your last paragraph.

Thinking of you all often and sending my admiration to the way so many of you are dealing with struggles at the moment.

Cherry,hope you are ok?

Grandmafrench Please may I close today's post (which has been pathetic on my part) with your last paragraph. It is perfect. I cannot better those words. Thank you.

Until tomorrow.

So very sad to hear your news, cornergran. I know you were prepared for the loss but I wonder if we are ever truly prepared. I feel such sadness and also for her poor little cat.

Weeks ago I'm not sure that I imagined that a lockdown would almost come to an end but leaving us all....where, actually? It's as if those that should know, should find out, should care enough to be leading and guiding and giving us all knowledge and determination and hope, have just left the building. Left us to it! Could the world be in much more of a mess? I'm not sure that it could right now.

I'm back to looking at the news, just once a day is enough for me, but it still reduces me to tears. It's true that after all the fear and anxiety and sheer hard work staying upright and positive all this time, away from friends and family we love, we are bound to feel overly emotional; but I imagined more surety than this and some real celebration. Instead we are left uncertain and in some ways as anxious as we were when we knew nothing.

I am approaching the anniversary of my losing my own dear Mum last year. I miss her so, but everyday I am so grateful that she's not here, suffering this. My heart breaks for those that lose loved ones now and the hell that they have to go through, not even being able to say good-bye or mourn properly. It's as if we are expected to just turn into robots and deny our deepest feelings. I, for one, am sick of hearing of illness and suffering and being able to do so little to help.

At the moment there's too much sadness and illness and worry on this thread and yet everyone just gets on with life and keeps on going. I salute the bravery and sheer character of all of you, you're all bloody marvellous.

What I'd give for a giant group hug, a laugh shared by all, a real, giant cake and tea in this Kitchen. Everyone there, the doors flung wide open and the sunshine streaming in, some bunting dancing in the breeze and being able to celebrate the news that the Plague has passed; treatments and recoveries can continue and life just seems something to shout about again.

Please, just please, let that come soon.

Hugs and kisses ( all banned) in France x

corner I'm so very sorry about your friend, a gentle hug from me. Hope the beach walk and the flowers provided some balm. Yes animals do indeed know when we are suffering, she will recover in time. Your picture of the roses was lovely by the way.
These roses were picked from my late mother in law's garden, I wish you could smell them, so fragrant. Thinking of all on this lovely thread who are struggling for whatever reason, you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

It is hot ? I am having a cuppa on the patio. Himself has been in the shed for ages and has now emerged with a tape measure and is measuring a section of the border. This does not look good.

DH back is much better now, thank you charleygirl and Lins and all those who asked. His nether regions are however almost completely purple ?.
corner sorry for the loss of your friend.
dragonfly glad Dexter is doing ok. Is Mr Dragonfly good at walking to heel? ?
morethan thinking of you and your family every day in my prayers ?
TOYA

Morethan, I have wondered through lockdown how your daughter in law was faring, and yours was a very sobering post.

It seems that she cannot bear to leave you all and is it sheer will that is keeping her with her family.

Time now, surely, for the professionals to support you all.
Love and prayers.

corner I am so sorry to hear that news. What is going to happen to the cat long term? Is Mr. C looking for alternative accommodation?!!!

The cat will be so sad for a good few weeks if not months- mourning for her mum and helper. Ten times worse when she is moved out of "her" home.

I have achieved nothing today for the simple reason I can do it all tomorrow or the day after that. That attitude has to change. I have to go out to buy some salad items as that is what I fancy tonight for supper. I am also having an alcohol free week. I only drink wine so that will not be a problem.
TOYA

So sorry to hear about your friend Corner. We are living in a sad world at present.

Anneliese I was thinking about you yesterday and tried to PM you but silly me could not remember how to spell your name so did not get very far.
When caring for my parents I found I had to do everything myself. I found carers and went on recommendations from friends. I also found a wonderful place that delivered two rising chairs within a week and set them up for me.
I hope things work out better for you.

Doodle I heard that Dexter has settled now despite initially having a poorly paw and an upset tummy! I do indeed miss him but I take my DH for a half hour walk every morning now. Not on a lead of course.

Early afternoon greetings to our very special Granspals.

corner Your friend is at peace. The grieving is for the living. You have been a truly good neighbour. I wish that I could put my arms around you. I wish that I could also continue to care for the cat. Just take yourself to a quiet spot and return to us lot when you feel that you need company.

N&G Far too many people appear to have lost the plot. What on earth do those who are gathering cheek by jowl with strangers think is going to be the outcome? The virus is not going to vanish. Those same people will continue to be vulnerable. The rest of us do our best to protect those we love. Right now, I have a heavy heart.

Hello lovely Lins

Annaliese I'm so sorry to hear that your dear husband's condition continues to blight your lives. It is such a cruel disease. I send you my love.

In fact, because so many of you are hurting right now, I send love to every one of you. I may just take myself away from thhe computer for a wee while. Not for too long. I shall return later this afternoon.

Morning all. I could do with a hug if there's one going. Our friend died peacefully this morning, of course not unexpected. To help out I calmly shared the news with half a dozen local friend then went off for a beach walk which settled me. Half an hour ago there was a delivery of flowers to thank me for looking after the cat. I'm in bits now. No use to anyone for a while.

The usually anti social cat sat with me for ages this morning Charley, so more evidence you were right and she would know. How do animals do it? Our dog was the same.

Good to hear Sam is wanting his walks, even at an unsocial hour, N&G, pleased he has a willing early morning walker. His hair cut will come soon enough and probably trigger a cold spell weather wise

Hope you're feeling more comfortable this morning soop, special thoughts for those feeling down and a hug from me for anyone who would like one. It's a strange world out there for sure.

TOYA

Doodle I am pleased to hear your DH's bruises are slowly vanishing and hopefully he is now pain free. I know he had a nasty fall but he luckily did not break any bones.

So many people on here are seriously ill and that includes you soop needing treatment asap. So sorry I cannot help.

The highlight of my week will be picking up fish and chips for myself and friends two doors down on Friday and we will eat in our respective houses!
TOYA

Hi all in this warm kitchen.

Sending love and hugs to Morethan - I wish there was something that I could say or do to help. Thinking of you.

To all who are suffering in one way or another I send you all my love. I’m feeling quite down this morning so i wont hang around. Stay safe and sane in these mad times. Xxx

Morning all !

Early start here as hot days mean Sam must get a pre 8am walk( not by me you understand lol ) but Grampy was up and out there with him !

Sam is fine Lins except for looking like the proverbial shaggy dog ! By now he would have had a summer cut and be looking chipper instead he looks like a moth eaten old rug ! We have him booked in for mid June so he should look and feel a lot better then.

I know just what you mean GrannyG . No amount of easing will let us hug our kids and grandkids and allowing 6 people in the garden just doesn't cut it. I cant wait for social distancing to be eased more . It seems unfair if I want to protest in Trafalgar Square I can be cheek by jowl with a 1000 strangers but cant stand next to a grandchild . Hey ho.

Time to go and make the old chap a coffee... Happy Day all !!

I'm so sad to read of your family's desperate plight Morethan, I thought that annsixty's suggestion of a hospice was maybe the way to go now. Your Dil's needs would be gently cared for and your poor son would at least have the physical strain eased for him.

I have often wondered how you were Anneliese, it seems hard that you've been told to find a carer. Do contact the MN society or maybe there is a local support group. Our pharmacy used to have cards for all the local support groups, maybe your pharmacy or GP could help.

Sorry that you have been having a wretched time soop, I've been thinking of you often and I hope your GP chases up the consultant for you. I haven't forgotten your many kindnesses to me.

Hope your husband is recovering well Doodle, he was lucky not to do any serious damage. Best wishes to him.
You and your family must be very relieved that Henry is better Susan and that he has a new dietician, albeit she is on holiday!

How is the lovely Sam N&G?, here's hoping the vet has sorted him out.
It is too hot to sleep so I'm going to read a chapter of my book.
TOYA ??

morethan, sending a hug to you, this is so sad and so traumatic for the children too.

I agree with annsixty that a hospice would be the best place for your DIL now if this could be arranged, she would be cared for really well and your DS would have more time for the children, who all need your love and attention too.

Only popped in to send a huge hug to Morethan . I can’t imagine what you’re all going through but my heart breaks for you all xxx

Life can be so hard anneliese, it feels like you’re trying to run up a sand hill. I can only hope common sense prevails for you both and there is appropriate support. Take care of yourself. Please.

I know you’re right Charley. The cat was so agitated yesterday, I now know the agitation coincided with active treatment being stopped. The cat was much calmer today. I understand our friend has also been calm and out of pain. There’s no time scale to the prognosis.

Sleep well everyone.

charley no need to apologise. I get confused too quite often. So many posters in the kitchen to keep track of ?
anneliese that isn’t much help at all is it. Is there a motor neurone group (like the British heart foundation) who you can contact perhaps for some advice or help. I have a friend with one of those recliner riser chairs who found it very useful. What a shame they didn’t set it up properly. Hope you can get that fixed.

Doodle my apologies- that is the second time I have made that mistake over that gorgeous dog. My brain really is going and none too slowly.

Anneliese I did not realise it was only 13 months from diagnosis to present day- life is difficult normally but with all that is going on with this flipping pandemic it must be hell on earth for you and your DH.

Why can a carer not be found for you? Why do you have to do all of the hard graft? You are another who needs as must rest and sleep as you can get. Enjoy the sunshine and your garden while you can. You are fortunate to have a caring DD. Please take care of yourself.
TOYA

Cannot keep up with all the kitchen coming and goings, but thinking of you all. I get caught up with other things and time flies.

My darling daughter and the GC moved back to their home on Friday as GC is going back to school this week. I popped some things round to her yesterday and GS said I know I can’t cuddle you anymore Grandma and I nearly broke down, DD explained that he can cuddle till he goes back to school.

I really dislike this flipping virus

Keep safe and well TOYA ?‍♀️

doodle I decided to take a calculated risk so our OT visited this week and we now have a stand turner which helps enormously. We also allowed someone to come and set up a riser recliner chair which was delivered on the first day of lockdown but was totally not set up for DH, and therefore unusable! But having talked to social services, I am told that we would be given a list of care agencies to find carers ourselves. How can I possibly make such an important decision? Especially considering testing and PPE.

charley if I had Dexter with me I would certainly look after him as he is a lovely chap. He is now back with his mum and dad which is great news but I expect his foster mum dragonfly misses him very much. ?. Don’t worry about the mistake. There are a lot of D’s on this thread. ?. I think it is just you feeling cold. I have the fan on most nights. I am so hot.
anneliese I have been wondering about you. Life must be very difficult for you at the moment with not much support available. Sorry to hear your DH is going downhill fast. Are there no care agencies who are continuing to help at the moment or are you too afraid to get someone in?
purplepixie so sorry about your friend. It is a sad time.
Thinking of everyone especially morethan ?