The most embarrassing moment of my life!

Ah. I wasn't on the loo at the time. Nether regions embarrassment. Guess it doesn't count. And
really didnt say 'vag,' honestly. I meant to type vag... with the dots following, sorry!

That time when I was a student. I had to tell my tutor I would need to be absent for a day to have a small biopsy. He asked where. Without delay my mouth replied without my brain "my vag" ... he went very pink as he said "No, I meant which hospital"

I’ve remembered another!
Some years ago the two of us went out for quite a long cycle ride. Nearly home we stopped at a pub and sat on an outside bench
I went in and asked for 2 cups of tea, ok said a man behind the bar I’ll bring them out
When they arrived I asked how much I owed and he said “ nothing, we are closed for refurb and I’m the electrician”
Very embarrassed we were!

Last year I spent a week at a wonderful "boutique" hotel in Bournemouth. Staff could not have been more helpful and had even given me the only ground floor room at no extra cost (I walk with a stick and cannot manage stairs).

First day there I arrived late and walked up to the main street looking for a restuarant (I was starving) but could find nothing but convenience "fast food" places. I should have known better because that stuff does not agree with me but I was so hungry that eventually, I decided on a meal in the Kentucky place.

I had meant to walk back but only got across the road before my tummy started to rebel....managed to perch on a wall and flag down a taxi, got back to the hotel and could not make the electronic key work!

Queue at reception, my bowel began to protest and so I pushed to the front... receptionist "re-registered" my key, I shuffled down the hallway - and it still would not work!

By now utterly desperate, I got half way back to reception before bursting into tears and only then did one of the bar staff come over and open the door for me...just too late.

Bloody electronic keys do not like me!

I’m hoping this sweet thread stays live. I keep popping back to read a few more posts. Thanks everyone for sharing and keep posting!

These bloopers have been hilarious, so much so that I cried with laughter. It brightened up my day.

First embarrassment was when I lived in South Africa some years ago. I went to a job interview in Cape Town. A full scale south easterly wind was blowing stongly, so much so that people would form a row holding onto each other to cross the street. Unfortunately I had a full skirt on and the wind lifted my skirt up over my head. In the end someone held my skirt down while another person held onto me, while we crossed the road, so that I wouldn't sail away with the wind!

2nd embarrassment happened at a male orientated company. 2 women and 15 men shared a toilet. Not a problem. If the door was closed and locked, someone was there. One day the door had been closed for a while and but I needed to go. I knocked loudly on the door. No answer. So I tried the door, not locked. Knocked loudly again and went in. . My boss was on the throne with his trousers around his ankles!

My friend,Margaret, and I were 14 & 15 respectively. We were at the seaside and spotted a group of boys playing football so we sat on a wall watching them and flirting. Suddenly, to my horror, I fell backwards, legs in the air, giving a full view of my knickers! My friend helped me up and, red faced, I was about to run away when one of the boys came over and said, "would you mind doing that agan, my mate missed it"? I'm 74 now but it still makes me cringe!

My very biddable and normally quiet brother aged five yrs stole my thunder as Mary in Nativity when in a quiet interlude as the three wise men arrived, he said”Grandma, take your teeth out and make them laugh”.
Not a thing she was given to doing and whole rows were creased up in silent laughter. Everyone would get a grip on their hysterics and then someone would giggle again..
My Grandma couldn’t wait to get home!

In 1961 I was 17 and I had bought tickets to see West Side Story in a West End theatre as a treat for my Mum. Unfortunately it was midweek and a workday so Mum who cycled to and from work was in a rush to get changed when she got home and off we went. As we walked into the theatre Mum didnt notice the small step so tripped and fell full length into the foyer of the theatre. Her handbag contents had fallen out so she hurriedly collected them before she stood up. A tap on her shoulder and there stood the commissionaire in full livery holding her bike lock and chain out saying " I believe this is yours madam". Poor Mum was mortified at the time but we laughed about it for years afterwards.

Another camping tale.

Friend invited us to a party in Cornwall we lived 350 miles away,and decided to buy a tent and equipment to make the most of it,we where able to stay in their massive grounds....we ended up staying 6 weeks.

My nether regions are never good away from home,and after many days a fair amount had built up.

I used the porta potti and " gave birth" to a huge food baby after a struggle.

Then came disposal we crept into downstairs loo and flushed,some hours later,our friend was in garden with drain open there was a blockage and my offspring in full view,with my ex and friends hysband who I didnt know that well dealing with the monster,I nearly went home there and then

Yuk! Growing old

Downtoearth and Grannynannywanny .
Here's another little tale from the campers' camp: there may be others on here familiar with the Camping Club's weekend meets back in the late 60s/early 70s. These were not at commercial sites but in farmers' fields and chemical toilet disposal facilities were usually a deep pit into which the delightful soup of toilet emptyings, loo roll and Elsan Blue were tipped. Two delightful stories here : on one such meet one unfortunate camper actually fell in (he couldn't swim but went through the motions....). The 2nd story was that my family couldn't afford one of those new-fangled Portapotties, our camp loo was a seat on a frame under which was suspended a plastic bag with the aforementioned Elsan soup in it. My personal embarrassment was helping my Dad carry the bag of nasties to the disposal pit across the field, and the bag splitting and depositing the contents in the middle of the site. Shovel anyone?

I 'm glad it made you laugh dontmind. I've never been allowed to live it down ... it has certainly provided us with some giggles over the years. Those four kids are now in their 30s but still remind me of that day out now and again.

I'm so glad I shared my most embarrassing moment. This post has turned out to be the best I've read for ages.

For me, the funniest by far, was the post by Espes - " I can smell your sausage" - I keep collapsing into fits of giggles every time I think of it. It's absolutely made my day

Thank you everyone for your posts.

I have been a camper and Caravanner most of my life, staying on many sites.over the years, and watching the gear evolve from very basic army style ridge tents, up to the more.lightweight polyester tents of today, many with fabric not much thicker than an umbrella. Thats all fine, and very weather proof, but with mains Electricity now available to most pitches, some of these tents become illuminated as good as any house does. However, this also turns them into a shadow show for any passers by, every little movement of the occupants can be seen in amazing clarity out on the side of the tent. This includes bedrooms, Toilet pods, Lounges, and all manor of games people play!
Most Novice campers tend not to realise this fact though, and it can be hillarious at night watching their antics, the men who shake in the Porta potti pod, scratch their bits, and fart!
The women who stand with one leg up on the seat sorting out their femine hygiene, then the lovers just back form a good night out who just want to have wild Nookie in a Tent!
I.must admit that the first time out with our new awning made form this type of fabric I dont realise how bad this problem was, and why the people in the next Caravan were laughing so loudly, l was dancing around trying to use a brush handle to scratch a very itchy back, then rubbing myself against the caravan door edge trying to get rid of the cause!

Tents are not one bit sound proof either, the calls of nature after a good night down the pub can be hilarious too, im sure some of them are trying to Rewrite the 1970s freelove book 'The Joy of Sex' or should that be ' Nookie in a tent public performance Show'!

Not had such a good laugh for ages, GN often full of sadness and angst , good to laugh at ourselves now and then.???? Thanks everyone .
.

Many years ago when we had doorstep milk delivery I used to pay the milkman early on Friday just wearing my dressing gown, one day I was at work, a librarian in a crowded local library when in walked Dennis (said milkman) and loudly declared hello, good to see you with your clothes on!

Some years ago I was in the bath when I heard a knock on the door. I assumed that my husband had returned from our neighbours and had forgotten his keys again.
So I wrapped a towel round me, dripped down the stairs and opened the door.
It was our local MP out canvassing for votes.
I think that we were both as shocked as each other.

Growingold..
Your poor old Mum. How unfortunate that her finances had to hit the skids

Growingold
Maybe discharging her liquid assets

Was discussing this thread yesterday with my sisters (well guffawing is a more accurate description), and my sister told me about an incident involving my Mum. Apparently she had a dodgy tummy and had to use a public loo in a hurry. Having done the necessary, she found to her horror there was no loo paper. However, resourceful woman that she was, she used the covers from her cheque book and presumably other sheets from within it. We are a disrespectful bunch of siblings and wondered if she used the paying in slips as she had left a deposit, and did it involve a lump sum?!

???? is this what passes for toilet humour ?

I remember someone writing about her embarrassing experience at a routine internal examination with a consultant. Just before doing the invasive thing, he made a strange observation, remarking „ My, we have made a special effort today“.
It wasn’t till later ,back home, she realized that the flannel which she had used to wash her private parts in preparation for her appointment was still covered in glitter - from daughter‘s party makeup!

Oh yes, I well know "The Mince" ! Although I suspect I am known as "The Mincer" in our local shopping mall. Why oh why does the gut decide to go into full clearance mode when standing in the middle of Aldi with a full trolley ? I now have all toilets mapped, and always have panty liner in place before going shopping, just in case !

Great stories had a much needed good laugh! Thanks!