I don’t want to burden you but

I have none of the sadness in your life that you are dealing with but I still feel fed up and disgusted with myself because:-

I can't stop eating crap.
I am getting fatter all the time.
I can't get on top of the housework despite having all day to do it.
I hate cooking and still have to do it everyday.
All I really want to do is sleep or read and be left alone.

I think you have been brilliant and am not surprised that you are having a bit of a melt down. For most people this would have come a lot sooner.

OK you asked for moans - here's a few

I hate my husband. The day he had a stroke was the day I found out he had been having an affair for many years. He now cannot speak at all, so I can't really ask him any questions, which I want to do.

He watches me all the time and tries to supervise me. I really do not like him and I hate myself for being weak and not leaving.

We have been married for 32 years and I really thought I had won Olympic Gold the day I married him.

I have read about your daughter in law and it is very, very sad and very unfair - why her?

Same with my mother, she was really sick for a while and I was a schoolgirl (and really frightened). She was 39 when she died and I was 13 years old 2nd year in Grammar School. Sometimes I felt "cursed". Then my Dad died quite out of the blue.

Anyway, please don't think I am trying to compete in the "who has it worst" games. I am not. I just try to take one day at a time - doesn't always work but mostly it does.

You are going through a very hard time at present and please try to be kind to yourself (if only I could learn this lesson!)

morethan, I don't know what to say to help but I'm so glad you have told us how you feel and I hope it helped. Keep doing it!!

pm sent to you dear morethan

Dear morethan - like many others I've been following your posts for years. Especially your worry about your Dil, son and family.
Losing self control - same here.
Wishing I could be near our children and grandchildren and feeling so inadequate compared with my own grandparents during WW2. We lived with my mother's parents and Mgm brought me up. Mgp noy far behind. Compared with them, we're not real grandparents.

You are definitely not alone in your thinking. You must be feeling low just now with so many things going on in your life and around you. I'm not making light of your situation but the way you write is brilliant, insightful and in a strange way humourous. We all need to take a leaf out of your book and be honest with ourselves. When all this s₩!t I hope you realise your stronger then you knew.

I'm not going to tell you all my moans because you have enough to cope with at the moment.

I'm sure you don't look like Freddie parrot face Davis in a hat, although I know I look like a mushroom in a hat. In fact one of my friends pointed this out to me because she found it very funny. (She's even shorter than me, the cheek of it !)

We all look a right mess. Washing your hair too often is not good for it, apparently, as told me by a hairdresser.

I went out today. Hooray! Although now I have bites on my arms, the back of my neck and my head is itchy (not from not washing my hair btw). Could I have nits too?
What's the flipping First Minister said now, CherryChezzy? They can't get their act together.

I'm really intrigued by the glass dining table exploding - how did that happen? Is it insured?

I would do as Charleygirl suggests and have the children over too.

I think things are starting to get us down. It’s 13 weeks for me now and much as I like being indoors I’m getting antsy now. We all are unless we’re saints.
Morethan - I do empathise. It sounds very difficult for you.
I long to go out for a meal and get my nails done and my hair done. Instead I buy clothes and things I don’t need and crochet dog blankets.
It will get better but it will take time.
Hugs to anyone feeling down today.

I can't imagine what you are going through with your DIL morethan and when other smaller things keep happening it can be more than we can take.

I hate not seeing family, not going out, cancelling holidays like everyone else. My main moan is shallow. As mentioned before, I can't get to my hair salon to have my hair system maintained. I have alopecia and in a few weeks my system will work loose and I will have no hair. I get a bit angry with celebrities moaning about their hair. At least they've got some.

I really understand when you say it’s the small things that can push us over the edge.

The other day I was putting plates from the dishwasher into the cupboard and knocked over and smashed/ chipped two bowls that my daughter had painted herself at a local pottery workshop . I burst into tears and was inconsolable for a bit even though my daughter said it didn’t matter and she could paint some more when allowed , all I could think is she had done them herself and was proud of them.

I’m pretty resilient most of the time , have dealt with a lot in the last few years and am used to supporting others in my work and private life but it was just the straw that broke the camels back and my reaction was over the top but I couldn’t help it and couldn’t stop crying.

You are dealing with a very sad stressful situation and should be kind to yourself . Bugger the virus have your grandchildren and help the family

Well you did ask!

Mr R is driving me nuts
I have had a row with my 3rd daughter
The weather is horrible
My infected toe is really painful (ingrown toe nail)
My back is hurting
I am bored
I am tired and achy
There is definitely nothing on tv to entertain or interest me

I could go on but I won't.........I'm sure I'll have some more moans tomorrow if you want to hear them?

Take care x

I know you have a huge concern for your dil, Morethan and that alone would be enough to push most people over the edge.

Even leaving that aside, I think how you feel is very much the norm in these strange times. I have a group of friends (Not GN-related) that I chat to online and many of us are experiencing this roller coaster of emotions. There often seems no rhyme nor reason as to why we each feel what we do on any particular day.

The benefit of such a group is that there is always someone there to haul us up again without putting an undue load on just one person. GN can provide that benefit too, so it’s good that you can unburden yourself here.

I'm not a keen moaner but I can do it. If it matters it can't really be a moan though can it, even if it's a small matter, especially when it sits amidst a bigger matter amplifying all.

Current moans: the breast clinic is shut and I've got swelling and pain. My sleeping pattern is up the spout. The first Minister for Wales keeps changing the guidance for those of us shielding, giving us hope and taking it away. I've lost my volunteer and there is definitely a piece missing from my new jigsaw.

None of these matters are major or desperate.

Charleygirl is right, break lockdown and get those beautiful children and have them stay with you for a bit of respite for you all, including your DiL. As I have always understood the guidance you can since it would be to provide care, care for them, care for your son, care for your DiL and care for you and your husband.

Love and care matters, do what matters and the rest is a trivia you will roll your eyes over in the future.

My current moans are trivia. In the past I have had bigger matters to moan about. I am sure there was trivia amidst it but do you know what - I can't even remember what they were.

morethan2 you certainly have a lot of things that you can't control, that doesn't help.

My brother, who lives miles away, phoned me yesterday to say what's up with Dad (89)?
He'd just rung for a chat and Dad was in floods of tears and put the phone down on him.
I rang Dad and he was "just" lonely; he's safe in his second floor apartment and can go for a walk round the garden but he's barely seen anyone for days.

We do his shopping and take it round, the care home send him a hot dinner every day so physically he's ok but he's beginning to feel he'll never see us all properly again.
My daughter suggested a video call as he uses an iPad.

I think a lot of people have had enough now and are struggling to hold it together.
I'm torn between inviting him round here to sit in the garden, which my brother's not happy about, and carrying on as we are and not take any risks having put up with the lockdown for this long.
If anything went wrong I don't want to be answerable to my brother and sister.

I have just ordered Dad a window bird feeder so hopefully that'll help to keep him entertained!

morethan You do seem to be getting more than your fair share of worries and irritants. You are not a failure. I expect many of us find it difficult to cope at times - and now is a particularly challenging time - and it is all right to feel upset.

Morethan, if anyone is entitled to rant it is you.
A family saying, 'as one door closes, another one slams in your face' and this is happening to you, at present. Just when you think things can't get any worse, they do; it will stop, eventually, but it is taking a bl***y long time.
The loss of your table, the food mixer packing up, and then not being able to wash your hair; that is the Worst. Of course lockdown makes it worse, you can't even go to the linen department at John Lewis, (somebody's refuge in time of trouble, I can't remember who), and mess the sheets up a bit.
Nothing wrong with your mental health, you are simply running on empty.

I've pm'd you morethan

Dear morethan2

I often think of you and your family, especially when there are gaps between your postings and I am always relieved when you do surface again, so please, moan away, especially if it helps to put it into the written word and send it out into the ether.

I am trying to think of something to moan about to make you feel better, but if I start I may not stop either.

I could join you in the rant about medical support during this time, it's non existent, and if I see one more Macmillan advert telling us how they are there to support people in this time of crisis, I think I will throw something at the TV.

Not had any breakages in the house yet, but I'm sure that now I've said it, something will go wrong shortly.

Please, take care and know that one day you will see the end of this terrible time for you and your family. ?

Just think of it as venting. Like the valves you used to get on pressure cookers so that a small escape of steam stopped a bigger explosion. Everybody needs to vent (sounds less negative than “moan”?

morethan can you not say "bugger" to lock down and take the children to your home for a weekend or longer if schooling permits it because they should not be witnessing the traumas and tragedies going on in their own house.

That I think would perk you up no end and would give your son a bit of rest. What you have done is above and beyond the call of duty and you are entitled to major moans any time here.

I agree, changeable weather and it being so cold does not entice you to sit in the garden if you have one, reading a book.

Oh morethan of course it's normal to moan about big stuff and little stuff. I agree with GrannyGravy, it's the small things that are often the hardest to deal with but there's such a lot of big stuff going on in your life, no wonder you're finding it difficult to cope.

As Grandmafrench has said, "let it out, all of it" just as you have done to the friends you have here on GN, as often as you need too x

I think now the weather has 'turned', suddenly a lot of us feel a bit trapped and are losing confidence in all sorts of things, politicians, scientists, going out, staying in, taking up our old lifestyles, do we want to change how we did things before?, do we want to be left in peace and quiet?, missing seeing family but a bit scared in case they bring virus germs with them.I could go on and on, Till the weather turned I was fine.

dear Morethan - do hope that rant made you feel just a tiny bit better. In there, amongt all the awfulness that you are having to deal with and alongside your concerns about your mental health, there's some humour. The normal you is still there - you are just completely overburdened with sadness and anxiety and now you're really really getting p***ed off about everything. Let it out, all of it. For most of us the Lockdown is enough, but your life must be so extraordinarily difficult. And yes, your DH is possibly coping better than you - that doesn't mean that in your present state you are letting him down. Everybody has stuff to deal with, some even worse than you, some not so bad. Don't question, don't doubt, don't stress about how you feel, just try to get through it in the best way that you can until it starts to get better. You'll feel like your old self again, promise. x

It is totally normal to moan in these strange times, you have more than your fair share of troubles.

If I am totally honest it is the small things that get to me more than the big things , I often cry my eyes out in the shower, or just gazing out of my kitchen window hoping and praying that one day things will be different.

morethan2 ???

Oh yes Morethan, can sympathise with how you feel. Am running out of things to do here, what i trued to do didnt work out ( art, making. Simple face mask, a cake, ) and really want to go out to a pub, cafe, tea room , restaurant to choose what to eat from a list instead of having to think about 3 meals a day every day every week.
Your head will heal, I have had a number of these head ops, and am growing a couple more lumps fir sometime in the future, annoying at the time but in a few days that won’t be a problem.
A step at a time. We will get there.