Now I understand why families shouldn't meet up.

I think that retired people do have the luxury of choice in this matter. If they wish to keep apart from others indefinitely then that’s their choice. Please not that I’m not including the vulnerable and shielded here as their situation is very different.
Some people have less choice because of their jobs and the need to shop for essentials. My husband is semi retired and is currently working from home but it won’t be long before he is asked to go back to his office. My AC have little choice either now that some restrictions have been eased.
All life, even staying at home, has risks and each person must make their own decisions about how much risk to allow into their lives. Please remember that we don’t all have the luxury of choosing the level of risk we’re exposed to.

Unfortunately annepl I think your problems were caused by a generational divide now. Many of our AC seem to think it is all over and once the pubs and restaurants open it will get even worse. There didn't seem to be many over 65s in the shop queues last Monday. We see family in the garden spaced out and nobody has asked for a drink yet. Each of us has to make our own risk assessment now. Keep hand washing!

Agree with those who believe we are now in a situation where we all need to do our own risk-assessments taking into account the risk of COVID from which only a small minority actually die, and the risk to mental health of isolation from loved ones - I have seen my daughter and son-in-law and two grandchildren throughout this pandemic but initially no proximity - gradually daughter came in the house with groceries and then grandson came round to do some gardening and then son-in-law came to help and granddaughter offered to do heavy cleaning work - I walk to theirs and sit in the garden but on three occasions we have eaten Sunday lunch there - so why behave this way ? Simply because I am a social psychologist by first career and a psychotherapist by second and I am sensible enough to make an assessment of the situation - nobody from my daughter’s house is in close contact with anybody else - children not at school, son in law working from home from day one, daughter only ever using deliveries from farms and fairies and baking own bread and cakes - they haven’t seen anybody else in close proximity and neither have we so were in a two household bubble that doesn’t leak anywhere - this has kept us all sane and reduced the inherent stress of separation. One thing we must all avoid is agoraphobia and unfortunately many people have become so used to being closeted away from the outside world that such fears are arising.

We had our first meet up last week on the beach. I went ahead & put a big rug in the middle then used a 4 meter diameter to place grandson's footie flourescent coloured pitch markers at 2 meter spots in a circle (6 in all) we brought our own chairs, flasks of beverage & I had extra masks & face shields for those who wanted. It felt okay. I wondered if I had gone over the top a bit but people seemed to appreciate they were not being compromised. I made it clear I would do this beforehand in an email. Those who had declared in the past 'I'm not going to social distance' knew to either agree to the boundaries or not come.

Wise words Aepgirl.

I went to see DGS on his 11th birthday & we did not make a big song & dance about it. We sat in front room ( it was raining) & had fun with the children without stressing about it.
It is my birthday next week & I hope they will come here & we can sit in garden. I had my older DGC over a few weeks ago & we had a lovely afternoon in the garden.
I am not worried about it at all. Just have to be a bit careful.
All the plates, glasses etc will just go in dishwasher as usual. Perfectly adequate.
TBH I have not stressed about any of the restrictions. As long as you are aware & sensible. Same as supermarket shopping- I have been out most days- shopping for neighbours too & it has been fine.

DD and DSiL are visiting next weekend and staying the night!! That's because we have a large static caravan on our property that is used for visitors. They will bring their own food and bedding and clean it for us before they leave. I won't go in there for at least another week as a precaution.

Still breaks the rule, we cannot stay overnight anywhere at the moment, unless you are single and have formed a bubble, that is not a guide line but against a law. Silly you might say but that is how it is.

No Dottydots, but it could have taken 5 wks for it to lie in your system and just get to the stage where you were that bad maybe? You could have had it awhile but it had gone unnoticed till then? I was very bad with same symptoms as covid at xmas, and had been italy end oct/beginning nov and im sure id picked it up- but i had not known it existed then but im sure it did.but it could have taken a few wks to become so bad as i was, as a 'gentle cough' or a few sniffles etc can be put down to seasonal bugs at first, its not till you get so bad that you realise it could be something serious!?

I just feel for self-preservation, and the preservation of others, we shouldn’t be having these get-together. Saving lives is far more important than celebrating birthdays - many won’t get that chance again!

I have 7 ranging from 17 to 40- (only 2 youngest at home with me) so you can imagine how fraught with nerves i am if even one of them maybe suggests a visit!- as it'll open the floodgates of them all wanting to bring all the families! Dont get me wrong, i love them all dearly, and have missed them all greatly, especially my lovely GC, we are normally close, as i take GC on hols too, but i think it would be fraught with worry, and all that cleaning! I cant cope with it all best of times as ive got osteoarthritis very bad, knees, elbows, wrists. My eldest called last wk just to drop something off id needed from a certain shop& she found it- her hubby& her youngest child asked to use loo, as its downstairs one i said yes, then they all 3 went living room to pick up a bag for them, but ive stuff 'left around' post& parcels etc waiting it out a few days- so they didnt sit down & they went after a minute or two, but i still cleaned all loo with bleach and as my GD had wanted a hug as she went( first in months) i got changed also, as my 17 yr old is very susceptible to any bugs & gets worse every time he catches anything.He has asthma & neuro condition.All 3 of us in our house have 'underlying health conditions' so are very careful.youngest hasnt been out since week before lockdown! But i think if any of family call again ill say bring a takeaway coffee and sit in garden a bit.But most of them live a lot further, so might want to stay longer, id feel mean saying no

Hetty58, thank you for the information regarding incubation periods. It was very interesting and I shall have to rethink about where I caught the virus, as it shows it couldn't have taken me 5 weeks to catch it.

Fran my understanding is that information so far is not backing up the idea of an increased proportion of people with anti-bodies as a result of mixing more freely. I think the figures from Sweden demonstrate this. I’ll see if I can find the link

lemongrove, we've done the same as you. Had friends over for a cuppa in our garden, washed our hands constantly as we set out "their" table, chairs and a tray! The latter held their own pot of tea, milk-jug, mugs, etc. & plate of cake. (Plus a bottle of hand sanitiser.) DH & I sat our potting table (covered with a cloth!) set well away, and we had all our own "tea things". After they left, all the crockery went into the dishwasher on a hot wash - teapots washed in hot soapy water. A faff, but lovely to see friends.

I have not seen any family for 17 weeks.
It hurts to hear of people mixing freely knowing that a second wave will probably arrive in the autumn.
My DD was able to travel in Europe and spent four days with her aunt whereas we have to make do with the occasional skype call.
At the end of the day my GC staying safe is far more important than their physical presence in my garden.

Hetty - I hate to throw cold water on your idea of a vaccine by September. This is more than unlikely. No vaccine has been found against any Covid disease, ever. Other illnesses like AIDS have had thirty years of world wide work to get a vaccine - to no avail.

Do not depend on any vaccine - and if all the odds are beaten and one is discovered, then there will be months and months of testing before it is in use

Indeed, September - as we go towards Autumn and winter is likely to be far more dangerous than the present time. Less people will be able to meet outside (where the virus is far less likely to cross infect), the normal winter 'flu infections will start, and winter is always a bad time for those with underlying health problems.

Totally isolating at present could (nobody is quite sure about this) , lead to a lowered ant-body rate in peoplel We normally build up our anti-bodies by mixing with each other.

Early diagnosis via testing, and much improved and increasingly improving treatment of this virus, particularly for those who are very sick with it - is the way it is going. And, despite how infectious it is, we really do have to remember that it's fatality rate is not that high.

So, yes, each to make their own risk assessment. But , also take account of our lives and our mental health.

I hope you have a nice time Willow. Please don't forget distancing. Its so easy to do.

Hetty58 I think that would be more manageable for me too.

We are supposed to be having a picnic in the garden tomorrow with my sister in law and her husband who has been shielding since the start - he is on kidney dialysis so in hospital 3 times a week and also asthmatic. She has ordered tea for 4 from their local farm shop to be boxed up separately for us and will bring their own picnic hamper with plates etc and chairs. We have a downstairs loo with access from the garden so I will clean it all before they arrive and we will use the upstairs ones. I'm sure we will be ok and will be able to sit 2 metres apart but at the moment it's hammering down with rain so it might all be down the swanny by morning

I live alone now and have to admit to seeing my grandchildren most weeks. I am lucky because they live within walking distance and I have a big enough garden for a good 2m distance which we have always kept. No drinks, food or phones have been passed and any toys, balls, skipping ropes etc are disinfected and left out in the sun before I put them away and even then I give my hands a good scrub! Fortunately the good weather has helped.

I know I am clear as I have not been to a shop, or near anybody since the beginning of March so I can pass on to them favourite meals. cakes, biscuits, treats etc. I put them down while they distance and then they take them home. I feel that this has kept us all safe and sane during lockdown and I don't plan to change these arrangements anytime soon!!!

A number of younger, we know it all families in my village have totally ignored lockdown. They have intermixed, children have had sleepovers and last w/e there was a 50th birthday birthday party. So much for only 6 in a gathering. It’s a case of ‘we’re all fine so no one will get it’. These are so called intelligent professionals. I despair especially when the majority of the residents have adhered to the rules. I won’t say I told you so when the inevitable happens , but I won’t be surprised. So very selfish.

Soon all the restaurants and pubs will be open and presumably at some point cinemas, libraries, galleries, etc. With some care, we need to get back to normal.

I suppose I can see why those people who are out and about, mixing with others on public transport or at work, will feel one more risk by seeing friends and family isn’t going to make any difference. In the other hand those of us who are shielding, or protecting s vulnerable loved on by not meeting anyone are bound to feel differently. I know I am not going to meet up with my son as his daughter is working in a supermarket and they are mixing with friends, so present too great a risk for me. I do meet with my daughter, at a suitable distance and we have been for a couple of walks, but she is not working or going to shops.

.....and no tips!

merlotgran

It's a bit like running a pub, lemongrove

Yes, but with cleaner hands?

Took my own flask with coffee. No sharing of food so own little picnic. Also own garden chair so no need for friend to wipe her's down. The little phone viewing was done by placing phone on middle of table and host looking at when I had moved away. On way out round side of house, used a wipe to open/close latch on gate so that host didn't need to be near to let us out. At times though do wonder if I am alone in my approach with all the total disregard going on.

It's a bit like running a pub, lemongrove