After nearly 50 years of marriage I now know that I got it wrong right from the start. I should have copied my older DSIL - she knew what to do.
Shortly after her wedding she ironed husband trousers with the creases down the sides. He took over and she never ironed again.
Although taught to cook by her wonderful mother she never quite mastered the art and DBIL did most of the cooking until their son grew up and became a chef. Okay, she did do,the housework but MIL would go round and clean everything to her own standard.
She has never hosted a family gathering or Christmas meal.
She and her family often used to come and stay with us as we lived by the sea. They never brought anything, not even a bottle of wine. We were never been invited back even though they lived near London and would have been great sightseeing base.
She is a nice person, but has 'used' others all her life.
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One of my uncles always took up the hems of his trousers (he was height-challenged) as he was so unhappy with how my auntie did with the first pair she tried. 
Auntie was super competent other than that, tho, and excellent at cooking and baking.
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