Grandchild for a summer break?

I wouldn't do it, to be honest. We used to have our grandkids to sleep over, on a very regular basis, but we don't do it now. We see them in the garden but no hugging. It's upsetting (I had a little cry about it the other day) but you have to stay safe. How would your kids and grandkids feel if either of you caught it and died? Or, even if you survived, if it had a lasting impact on your health?

The facts as we are given them are not scaremongering. In fact, they are the opposite. We were told to stay 2 metres apart, then 1 metre was okay in some circumstances... and the possibility of aerosolised microparticles has been known about from the beginning. I know, because I remember my DD telling her dad about the possible risk of aerosolised particles coming through air conditioning systems, when she was trying to make him understand how dangerous the virus was going to be, back in early March. She said then that research showed that the safe distance between people was 27 foot. Latest research says the particles can travel 10 metres just through breathing. I am pointing this out to suggest that, far from scaremongering, the risks are being downplayed. For instance, there is medical evidence that suggests that the effects on long-term health from a mild attack of Covid-19 can be potentially serious.

Basically, the scientists and doctors know more about this illness than they did, but they still don't fully understand it. It does not just attack the lungs but can affect the heart, brain, blood and so on. We minimise the risks at our peril.

Of course, we want to shield our little ones from harm, and we should not underestimate the possible harm that the virus could do to their health, but we are the ones who are mainly in the firing line. Once you are over 50, your immune system isn't so effective. Most of us on here are at an age where, even without underlying illnesses, we are at risk. You might feel fit and sprightly but your body just can't fight infection like it did when you were young.

It's a rotten situation to be in, when you can't be close to the people you love. I know that some people will take that risk. I am tempted to throw caution to the wind, put my arms around my grandchildren and invite them to stay. Then I think of being parted from them forever, and I don't want to make that happen sooner than it must. Nor do I want to lose my husband, because men, of course, are even more vulnerable. You have to take these things into account.

There has been so much loosening of "the rules", mostly to accommodate business (which, to some extent, is understandable as people's jobs are at risk) and so much confusion that, if I were you, I would do whatever you and the children's parents think best.

We are helping out with our grandchildren now. Otherwise it could be months before it is declared completely "safe" to do so - and then we are told the virus might well flare up again or be replaced by 'flu. At some point, and bearing in mind our own personal and health circumstances, we have to get back to some form of normality, whilst still taking extra care with hygiene, unnecessary close contact with people outside the family, etc.

I would say yes. Swimming pools and gyms opening by end of July.

OH has been shielding and we thought the rule was that we can extend our 'bubble' to our AC's family from 1 August. They also seem to be under the same impression and they are def a rules- and health-conscious couple. I've already been asked to continue helping with school run and to babysit in Aug so I'm confident we are correct!

Personally I would do it like a shot if you’re not vulnerable. I’m so confused and bored with the rules that keep changing, I’m just being sensible and doing what feels right.

Test results can come back in less than 24 hours so that might be a good way forward. My DD was feeling fatigued and light headed so entered these symptoms into the Covid 19 study app and they suggested she had the test. Got the results in less than 20 hours.

Thanks for all your thoughts. I think testing takes too long to provide a result by which time, including travelling time to us, may nor longer be accurate.
I am not thinking of the government advice, they are ineffective in this.
I am usually able to think decisions through effectively. This one is stumping me. And seems to require an ability to foretell the future!

The rules say no at the moment. Even though I think they’re illogical, the only way we’ve managed this is not to make a personal choice about which ones to break and which not. Otherwise we’re no different to Cummings. Also my DIL is an infectious diseases doc and cannot break the rules so we can’t have our 10 month old granddaughter to stay as there’s no possibility of social distancing.

With great trepidation I had my grandchildren to stay last night, one 6 (at school) and the other one 10 (not allowed) and I must say it gave me and my husband such joy to have them. They went home this morning but they are both keen to do it again. Before lockdown we looked after them 3 days a week and they stayed over one. We are not going back to that yet but we shall continue with the sleepover once a week. If you have no overriding symptoms they try, if you feel comfortable continue, if not don’t repeat but the rewards are endless if you do.
Hope this helps you make a decision and hopefully I have posted on right entry whoops!!!

We usually have our 2 GDs in August. They are teenagers now and love shopping. I think DH and I, both now mid 70s, might find trailing round the shops a bit uncomfortable, as we are in the vulnerable category. We will talk to ourDS soon and see what happens

Tough call but great advice given above. I have two sets of GC in Asia and one or another set spends every summer holiday and two weeks at Christmas here. Really missing the bedlam and pure joy that they bring but no decision to be made for us. Cant wait for “normal” service to resume. Till then thank heavens for technology. Have a great time.

I see no problem in it at all. I am seeing my grandchild, daughter and SIL just as I did pre lockdown now. There have been no new cases in our area for weeks now. So long as you are careful when out and about, continue with all the safety precautions etc thing will be ok. Enjoy the visit.

I would have thought if the parents keep your GD at home for a week or so after finishing school, before coming straight to you that should be alright. I suppose the problem is children do seem to be asymptomatic, each of us has to make our own risk assessments now the guidelines aren't rational, stay at home was easy.

Juniper1
If you were a single grandparent there would be no problem as children can stay and hug you! The rules on married grandparents are nonsense surely the risk is no greater.
If I were you I'd have her stay like a shot.

I'm on my way to see mine as I write this. 4 hour journey and haven't seen them since February. We have been very good spending most of our time in allotment , garden and walks. Husband just returned to work but self employed on his own in empty rooms. I've been in a shop maybe 6 times no major supermarkets.since lock down and had coffee and fish and chips in close friends garden (shielding) twice. Family work from home and none of children at school. They go out but walking or cycling . We just have to hope and pray that none of us were in the wrong place at the right time. Life has to go on. I'm happy to be guided by DIL's rule. She's always been sensible and caring. So Yippee!

I would carry on as normal. I think there has been a lot of scaremongering all the way though this situation.
Children are far less likely to catch it & pass it on . It would be a great pity to miss having your DGD if you enjoy having her.
There will come a time very soon when she may not want to come to you as her reliance on 'mates' sets in. Make the most of it while you can & enjoy it.

I have the same dilemma but I am also in the vulnerable group. We don’t really come out of full lock down until August 1st and must still be cautious after that. We usually have both grandchildren for a week in the summer. Also, like o.p. we don’t know what activities will be open in our area by then.

Personally I am seeing my 3 yr old grandson as normal. He also saw his great grandparents and the joy on their faces after 3 month lockdown. He does not mingle with others

I am not sure what I'd do, but for me the safety issue is not so much about what the government allows (though that is important) but weighing up what the actual risk is, based on what we hear from health experts. How would the child or children, or their parents, feel, if, unknowingly, the child infects us as grandparents? And I want to stay healthy - I will die one day, don't know when, but I don't want it to be from Covid19. We know that the virus is still about, is very catching, and there is much still to be learnt about it. So for this I use the precautionary principle - even if a risk isn't proven yet, choose safety. But its hard! we love our grandchildren and our children and we long to see them. I wish the OP well whatver you decide.

Can she not be tested then you would have peace of mind?

Would it be possible for everyone to quarantine for two weeks before meeting? Also if everyone got tested before that seems safer.

We are having the grandchildren to stay over the summer, but we are early 60's and 70's both fit and healthy with no underlying conditions - so think the risk is low. We each have to make our own decisions, what's right for one ma not be for someone else.

We are still waiting to see if we can look after our grandchildren when my daughterinlaw goes back to work in 4 weeks my local councillor ssys no becase we are a coiple of grandparents not a single grandparent. However how can people go back to work if there is no one to look after their children and they both need to work to pay bills. We are under 60 year old grandparents no health problems and I feel we will have no choice but to help them out.

If you and your GC seriously minimise for 14 days before and do not mix with others during the stay the risk will be small. so to me it depends on whether you and your extended family are prepared for the inconvenience this involves.

Our son and DIL are coming from London next week but we have suggested Airbnb instead of staying with us. Kids are 5 and 3 so socially distancing would be almost impossible. We will meet up with them on beach and gardens and eat outside