Lost confidence in driving

Make short journeys going places you know and add in little bits out of your normal routes. Google maps is very helpful and can direct you anywhere you don't know. Take your time and gradually increase the areas you know

Does your new car have a sat nav and at least a rear camera in it? That would be useful for reversing along lanes and also help with navigation in your new area. Perhaps consider one if not already installed. You gave had a lot of change recently and most would find it unsettling. A few lessons from a professional would perhaps boost your confidence with the driving. Go enjoy your new life.

Calendargirl

I only want to drive local places really. Always let DH drive if we’re going far. That’s bad, I know, because if anything were to happen to him, I would be stuffed.

Passed my test at 17, 60 odd years ago, but driving has always been a necessity, not a pleasure.

Lexisgranny

Sorry, just re-read my post and realised I should have put ‘50’ years ago, not ‘60’.

Makes me look more pathetic really, as I can’t give the excuse of age being the issue!

Take each day as it comes as I think you have a combination of things going on here. You have moved to a new area, different car etc. Please do not give up as this is your independence and freedom. Take care.

Please don't give up or you will become a recluse. What about a refresher course of several lessons? It may boost your confidence. I did mot drive for 7 years after a very bad accident and the short regresher course got me back on the road. Best of luck.

I’ve never enjoyed driving and only do so when I have no choice! I put this down to not passing my test until I was 28. My husband always drives when we go out together. I find I don’t even like being driven on motorways lately. I’m very aware of how one knock can have such a catastrophic consequence. If I’m the one that’s left I will not keep a car and use taxis. Probably not that much more expensive. As for satnav, the very best one we’ve found is Wayz, a free app.

I agree with other comments; it could be due to the house move, different car and unexplored territory ?. When we only drive local to our own area or on regular trips we get used to them, can become a little complacent (not a criticism GNetters so don't call me out) and we feel comfortable and confident.

Give it time Trishaj, make a few short trips close to where you now live, you will regain your confidence!

Good luck in your new home, with the new car and best wishes in regaining your confidence.

Calendargirl I think you wrote my post for me, including the age! I also avoid some journeys, and also some times. We live a mile or so away from a large roundabout, and one of the exits is the route to a large industrial estate, so I tend to avoid it when shifts are changing and workers are going home, it’s bad enough at the best of times. I dread the thought of driving a distance to an unfamiliar place, but I am reasonably content driving locally. I think I will review the situation in 3 years when I am 80.

I wonder if you need to drive?
Are you living somewhere rural/remote with no transport?

Why do we make ourselves drive if we don't enjoy and we don't really need to?

I always drive on my own and found that a SatNav was invaluable to me. My family gave it to me as a 60th birthday present as it is the best present I have ever had as an adult. It has taken me round France a couple of times. I always use it if I'm going to a new place as I don't want to get lost.
Have you tried driving with someone as a passenger to give you confidence? Try and pick someone who won't give you a hard time; nothing worse than a passenger who is always finding fault with what you do. Don't give up the driving, just try it bit by bit, to get used to it again. Are the roads less wide than you were used to before? I hate 'thin' roads as I call them. Good Luck with driving again.

Tanith is spot on.

I was the same when we moved 3 years ago. What I did was to take over all of the driving . This helped me to find my way around and about relatively quickly but also stopped me building a wall around myself and my ability to drive. Good luck, use satnav and local maps, plot your route beforehand and go for it. You are a capable, competent woman, don’t lock yourself into a cage!

Over the years I have become the same and worry if I have to go somewhere I don’t know- used to drive from Scotland to Yorkshire once a fortnight and once did to Northampton in one go! Loved driving , still do to some extent but the worrying about if I get lost and panic is still there. One thing I always used to do is if I moved area was to just get in the car and drive around the local area just so that I would have a bit of a clue and that did help. My brother is a hypnotherapist and can do things about anxiety etc if you need some help? X

I do feel sorry for any one who has lost confidence in driving. I am 85 and of necessity have to drive as, not only am I a widow, but there is absolutely no public transport where I live. It would still be necessary to drive on the single way mountain roads to get to the nearest bus or train! Luckily I still like to drive and, because of where I live, am an old hand at reversing into passing bays. The problem lies with visitors to the area who have no idea how to use the narrow roads, regardless of age or sex, and usually wait for 'the locals' to do any reversing needed! The banks at the sides of the ròads are quite kind to the amount of contact they have with these cars and their 'drivers'!

Devon is a difficult place to drive - lots of little winding lanes; and also a dual carriageway that cuts straight through the middle. My parents used to have to get on and off that busy road, and turn back on themselves to get to the shops; then repeat it all on the way back.

I loved Devon as a child, and lived there for a while, but I would not want to be there now.

Good luck with your driving. I do as little as is necessary now. I do not enjoy it one bit.

I know how you feel Trishaj, my husband and I have moved 11 times in 15 years. Two international moves to the USA and back.
I was gently going through the menopause as well during this time.
I used to ‘make’ myself go on a drive every day, where ever I was. To build up my confidence and get out of the house. It definitely worked. I don’t do long journeys on my own anymore because my internal sat nav doesn’t work. I think my mother must have dropped me on my head at some point as a baby!
My sister is two years older than me, she stopped driving about 5 years ago, she is practically a recluse now and hardly leaves the house.
So be brave and hang onto your independence.
Good luck ?

Since coming out of lockdown I find I have lost confidence when driving. Currently I am only driving local well known routes. I need to drive to the other side of the city and I keep putting it off - hopefully my confidence will gradually return.

Invest in a satnav and input your home address. That way, if you get lost, you can ask the satnav to take you back home. It might help take away the feeling of being adrift in a strange place.

At least you have all passed your test and been driving for years! I've never ever had the confidence to learn, even when I was a teenager. Now worse than ever so without my DH I would have to cope with public transport. And yet I've seen my DC and now DGC learning to drive like nothing, I see people 9 to 99 driving, so is it just me??

I hate driving too. Only do it if I have to. I would be lost without my car, but I only do local journeys, never drive on dual carriageways or motorways. Almost have panic attacks at the thought of it. Other drivers have no patience, always drive too close behind and are so aggressive.

Over the last couple of years I have lost some of my confidence in driving. I did have one refresher lesson with a driving instructor and it did help. However the Lockdown has put me back a lot.

Recently my DH has hurt his Achilles’ tendon and he is finding driving any distance uncomfortable.

I then realised that I can’t always rely on him to drive and volunteered to drive to a recent hospital visit involving driving onto the dual carriageway. I made it ok and realised that if I gave up driving my life would be so restricted so I am giving myself a talking to and slowly but surely will up my amount of driving.

One thing that women are less good at is spacial awareness, so tight squeezes can be problematic on lanes. My DH confidently drives through gaps which makes me close my eyes in terror.

I play it safe and stop, tuck into the gap and let the oncoming vehicle do the manoeuvring.

Me too. It must be playing on my mind because I dreamt last night I had two car accidents ! Not serious ones thank goodness just scrapes. I would think in your case, and probably mine you’ve been under stress, this can cause you to lose self confidence and concentration. I would try and Keep going just doing small trips until you feel better. Good luck.

I am a Devon resident and one thing which really is a bit of a challenge for older drivers us reversing down a narrow Devon lane. If you meet a milk tanker you have no choice so to add to my earlier post of yesterday, please please practice your reversing & if travelling in our lanes, make a conscious note of passing places or recessed field gates as you go along. If you then have to reverse, you have a rough idea how far back you need to go! I am a Devonian & we can always tell who's a tourist & who isn't by their ability to reverse or not. I can't rotate my neck & shoulders very well but I'm an excellent reverser because half the time I'm either confronted by a lorry or another driver who can't or wont reverse. Reversing is a skill which helps confidence too. A lesson or two will help I'm sure. Go for it!

I'm finding it hard to get back behind the wheel after selling our bigger family car after loosing my lovely John 7 months ago I had intended on buying something like a little Mini or similar but my confidence has gone completely the stupid thing is I used to drive 40+ miles a day to work and back and to places like Birmingham or Newcastle where the Rds are awful but I never bothered then now I am so worried about getting behind the wheel again.