scammers programme on Wednesday night

These posts have had me in hysterics ! Thankyou to all

Espee a woman after my own heart.

Us old ladies aren't the fools people think we are, are we? My late husband who never swore, changed when he got a scam call and told them to F off. I on the other hand, like many other grans, have some amusement with them. I usually say in a croaky voice, "Are you married then? What's your wife's name? Have you got any children?" regardless of what they are saying. I usually say somewhere in the call "Its so lovely that you called me. Nobody does, and its nice to have a chance to chat..." If I get to say all of these things I have won, but they usually put the phone down before I've got very far.

I have a call blocker on my phone that means that anyone that wants to speak to me has to announce themselves and I can choose to accept it or not. This has stopped the unwanted calls.
I wish that I had had this phone when my dad was still alive - the distress that he had when callers used to ask to speak to my mother after she had died was horrible to see but on the other hand, I had a lot of fun with the scam calls !
Oh for the days when unwanted calls were just someone that wanted to flog you double glazing!

Car - no, It wasn't me. Oh no, it must have been my husband. He's taken my car again and you're saying he crashed it, again? That's it - divorce. You must be from a legal place. Do you know any good divorce lawyers?

Jennil23 I love the one about your accident. I might try that sometime.

I love to wind them up and keep them on the line to waste their time but if I'm too busy I tell them that since GDPR they are breaking the law calling me without my permission and put the phone down.

I don't have a whistle by my phone but on one occasion, after asking a particular caller to stop calling a number of times, when he called again I screamed as loudly as I could then put the phone down. That stopped him!

Infoman, don't think that the scammers will not find you, even if you don't give your number away. Many use electronic phone number generators so it wil dial 01742 123456 then 01742 123457 and so on until it hits a real number.
If I am not busy I will try to keep the scammer on the line as long as possible, asking daft questions and pretending to be a gullible old lady. At least I am preventing them for making their next call!

I once went through all the details of an imaginary car accident until the point where I added in the green aliens who had caused it by parking their spaceship in the middle of the road.

I get calls all the time for a certain person who isn't me and who I don't know. It seems that they've possibly made up a number and that number is mine!

Jennil23 thank you so much. I haven't laughed so much in months. A real tonic.

I too have the clever BT phones that only allow callers on my contact list or preciously approved callers through. Others are asked to give their name which is relayed to me and I can choose whether to accept or reject.

However, having had a really good laugh this morning - which I needed - I'm feeling quite jealous. I like the idea of passing the time honing my dramatic skills!

@chicken - Next time tell him "Yes, I know."

My mobile automatically informs me the call could be spam.

I have an Acme Thunderer whistle near my phone. Any time I get a live scammer I let them ramble on for a bit then blast their eardrums with my whistle.
On one occasion I led them on a bit then started to cackle and told the person on the other end that I was a witch and that they were cursed for all eternity.
We rarely get troubled by them anymore.

I used to get frequent calls from somebody who liked to talk dirty. I saved the number as Nuisance don’t answer. A few months ago I downloaded WhatsApp and he came up in my contacts as Nuisance don’t answer with a photo of himself. I was able to recognise him at last.....hahaha

When I get double glazing calls I put on old ladies voice and keep asking what is your name..oh I love that name, let me get a pencil and write it down, Now what is your name again, how lovely, where is my pencil now...I’ll get another, oh no it needs sharpening....you get the idea. They soon disconnect me.

Perhaps I have too much time on my hands.

Have to admit nowadays I normally give out my mobile phone number - if it's a scammer it's easy to block. The house phone, not so easy. When they ask me about the car accident, I ask if they are willing me to have one. Usually reduces them to stammer. If it's about a fault on my computer, I tell them I don't have one. If they can't even be bothered to put a live person at the other end, but a recorded message - I see red!! and just leave it to talk to itself!

It was really peaceful during lockdown as we had minimal scam calls, but they have started again now, a robotic voice "Amazon Prime calling" telling me that I owe money and it will be taken out of my bank. We don't have Amazon Prime. Strangely enough when we got these before lockdown the amount was 39.99, it's now increased to 79.99!! These calls come through regularly, but always from a different phone number. If I get a call I never say anything, and guess what they hang up.......I am on TPS which is supposed to stop calls like this getting through, but it doesn't work. I think it's about time the government bring in a law that stops these companies (because that's what they are) from trading and preying on the general public, no matter what age they are.

My favourite is to say this X police station, how may I help you? That used to get rid of them. I tried that with the pizza orders but stopped that because I thought there was an excellent chance of my local police ordering pizzas for their supper on a quiet night.

Thank you, you have made me chuckle! The accident calls I usually ask them which accident they are referring to, the recent one they say, so I ask again which one? I have done the 'I am the cleaner' and will complain about how much ironing, washing up I have to do and that the lady of the house has gone out and left me. The automated ones are the worst as you cannot reply. I am waiting to be arrested, that I need to pay for my subscription or I will be disconnected, my cavity wall insulation is all wrong, and my loft insulation needs stripping. As for my solar panels, well they are not producing enough! I do have a call blocker so if I answer a call upstairs I do get a little exercise in having to get to it before they hang up.

Read with interest and grateful thanks for the reminder and good advice. Mine seldom rings these days as most use mobile however I’ve just set the answerphone and am going to leave all calls and ring back if I know them. Scary world in terms of scamming. I always believe in good and am very trusting so all remainders are good for me x

I'm full of admiration for those of you who keep them going.

My reaction is to say 'you have no right to call this number, put me through to your manager' and the phone goes dead. Only on one occasion did I actually get to speak to someone else, I demanded to have my number removed from their list, and to my astonishment they apologised and promised they would do so!

I used to love the ones where 'there is a fault with your windows, we need to connect to your computer'. I would babble on for ages about double glazing.
The 'you have been in an accident' ones can be such fun. Describing the fall from the chandeliers after wrapping Mr P in a bin bag with an orange in his mouth usually results in a dead line. Or sometimes I will tell them that they are the only ones who understand it was an accident and the fact that I dug the grave in the woods and put the body there doesn't mean I'm guilty.
Loads more, but they don't have a sense of humour.

Depends on how I feel, sometimes they get a mouthful, sometimes I just put the phone down but if I feel like it I wind them up. one such call, I can't remember what it was for, as the man started talking I put on my little old lady voice and said 'are you my friend', he stuttered a bit and said 'no', i let him carry on with his spiel for a while then said ' I had an egg for my breakfast', he said 'what', so I repeated it, he just said 'oh', then after a little more of his script I went 'OOH, I have just wet myself', he put the phone down and has never called back.
Another one, one of the you have had an accident, I said I need your name and address, the woman asked why, I said well there was no one there when my car was hit so as you know about it, it must have been you, you pulled straight out of that side road and hit me and then drove off', she was spluttering and saying no that wasn't the case, I told her it must have been her otherwise she would not have known about the accident. She hung up. It's fun if you are in the right frame of mind.

I love Espee's comments as that's exactly how I handle these calls when I'm in the mood/have time. I love being the doddery old lady who keeps thanking the scammer for being so helpful and asking them to be patient with me as I have a number of ailments from bunions to piles(I describe in detail & they have to listen/empathise) that slow me down but yes I looking for my computer to turn it on etc.
When I'm not in the mood I immediately say please hold on whilst I turn on the recording equipment for police evidence and they soon hang up. My BT call blocker list is full and I have to remove an old number to add a new one (I get up to 6 a day) and I then list the number on
www.who-called.co.uk to check/help others

When they say there is a fault on my internet, I usually say that this is very interesting as I do not have a computer!
Alternatively, I tell them I am a senior IT executive, so please go ahead and tell me what is wrong. All lies of course.
On a bad day, I use the filthiest swear words I can muster, but I'm not proud of that.