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Let's blame Boris

(87 Posts)
Newatthis Thu 13-Aug-20 12:18:50

With highs of 33° expected AGAIN today, it's time to ask "could the government have done more?" Downing Street knew about this heatwave weeks ago and have done nothing. Shipments of 400,000 pairs of Speedos and 500,000 bikinis, sun cream and Cornettos have reportedly been sent back as unsafe after media claims the shipment was quarantined a month ago and Boris did nothing.

Karen from Chavington said, "We just don't know if it's safe to go outside and sunbathe because we can't function or think for ourselves. Boris hasn't told us either way and all my obese kids need ice cream and sweets, the Hubby can't get out to rob anyone so we're out of lager and weed, I blame the government entirely"

Meanwhile, anti- heat protesters dressed in thick jumpers chanting "cold lives matter" have marched on London, Big Ben has been removed and a giant Mint Feast put in its place by protesters.

The BBC reported earlier, 'clearly the sun has come out and Downing street have done nothing to prevent it.'

A second heat Wave is expected to hit the UK in 4 weeks time

Oopsminty Thu 13-Aug-20 16:53:36

Ramblingrose22

I thought the post was funny and I welcome it this afternoon as everything is going wrong and I was very stressed until I read this.

Thank you Newatthis. Don't be put off Gransnet if a few people don't share your sense of humour.

Good point, Ramblingrose22

A spot of light hearted nonsense is always welcome in my world

Poppyred Thu 13-Aug-20 16:52:35

Hilarious. ... ??

Ramblingrose22 Thu 13-Aug-20 16:51:26

I thought the post was funny and I welcome it this afternoon as everything is going wrong and I was very stressed until I read this.

Thank you Newatthis. Don't be put off Gransnet if a few people don't share your sense of humour.

Firecracker123 Thu 13-Aug-20 16:50:10

16:44trisher

Elegran if someone wants to make a joke about something they should at least take the trouble to discover the realities of the character they want to create. Parodies need to stay close to the reality. It's just laziness to use the wrong language. And yes if someone had created a "Lavinia" character and had her saying things like "Cor blimey" or referring to her "bloke" it would be just as bad.
I don't find it offensive, just lazy and badly written. Jokes don't need to be written in standard English but they do need to be able to create and maintain character, other wise why bother?

Perhaps trisher Newhatthis actually has a life lol

quizqueen Thu 13-Aug-20 16:47:29

Newatthis, take no notice of those who have had their sense of humour removed as long as the Tories are in power. I agree with your 'sarcasm', people blame the government for everything and think they have have to take no responsibility for anything which affects them nowadays.

Jane10 Thu 13-Aug-20 16:45:21

Oh well give us one of your perfectly formulated yet hilarious jokes then Trisher.

trisher Thu 13-Aug-20 16:44:14

Elegran if someone wants to make a joke about something they should at least take the trouble to discover the realities of the character they want to create. Parodies need to stay close to the reality. It's just laziness to use the wrong language. And yes if someone had created a "Lavinia" character and had her saying things like "Cor blimey" or referring to her "bloke" it would be just as bad.
I don't find it offensive, just lazy and badly written. Jokes don't need to be written in standard English but they do need to be able to create and maintain character, other wise why bother?

JenniferEccles Thu 13-Aug-20 16:40:26

You have summed up well Elegran when you talked of pompous hot air spouted by the permanently offended!!

sf101 Thu 13-Aug-20 16:38:50

Made me chuckle - sounds like the news every night - now why didn't the government send me a text to remind me I had something in the oven grin grin grin

Orangerose Thu 13-Aug-20 16:35:14

Elegran

^". . it could be done so much better."^ Are you really applying literary criticism to a joke?

Haha yes, I actually think she is!

Jabberwok Thu 13-Aug-20 16:33:47

Strange that people on here seem to love really cruel demeaning satire aimed at people they despise and disapprove of! Mrs Thatcher, John Major,Boris (of course!) and most right wing politicians ,but become all sanctimonious and disapproving at a bit of leg pulling?!! I loved 'cold lives matter! The whole OP made me laugh ??! Cruel satire does not!

Elegran Thu 13-Aug-20 16:25:05

". . it could be done so much better." Are you really applying literary criticism to a joke?

Elegran Thu 13-Aug-20 16:23:23

What a lot of pompous hot air some posters write!

So you don't find it funny? OK, don't laugh - no-one is holding a gun to your head and threatening to shoot you.

You think all Karens are being insulted and accused of being Chavs? You must already have associated the name Karen with chavs to think that - perhaps it should have been Lavinia from Belgravia? Would it be Ok to insult all Lavinias? Oh yes, of course it would, because Lavinia is a name we associate with prissy upper middle class women and it is fair game to sneer at them.

"Weed" and "hubby" are oldfashioned and outdated? Does that mattter? Do all jokes have to be snappy and full of up-the minute idioms?

It is political? Yes, of course. Nothing wrong with that. It is already a running joke that the weather has been awful since we decided to leave the EU, or since the government (whichever is in power at any given time) was elected.

Loosen up. We neeed all the laughs we can get.

Lucca Thu 13-Aug-20 16:23:19

Newatthis

Definition 'Apology' :

A regretful acknowledgement of an offence or failure.

For anyone missed my second post or doesn't know what the word 'apology' means.

Absolutely no need to apologise newatthis!

I didn’t realise it was compulsory for everyone to have the same sense of humour ? For example I find Mrs browns boys singularly unfunny but some people love it. Nothing political,about it.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 13-Aug-20 16:20:34

I do think that humour is badly needed at the moment ?

Thank you for posting newatthis

No apology is necessary ?‍♀️

Orangerose Thu 13-Aug-20 16:19:55

trisher

I know what she(he?) is really saying ladymuck but it could be done so much better.

Oh trisher don’t worry so much. It’s just a JOKE.

trisher Thu 13-Aug-20 16:06:39

I know what she(he?) is really saying ladymuck but it could be done so much better.

sharon103 Thu 13-Aug-20 16:02:37

My type of humour Newatthis. Made me laugh. grin

ladymuck Thu 13-Aug-20 15:54:36

I found it quite amusing...look beneath the lines and you can see what she is really saying. Good for her!
Hope you stick around, Newatthis...we need more like you on this site.

trisher Thu 13-Aug-20 15:46:19

It's not funny and it's badly done. It's unlikely that Karen, who I suppose is meant to be a chav, would use the term "obese" about her kids and does anyone really refer to "weed" anymore? And "Hubby" is so middle class!
I'd recommend watching Vicky Pollard on Little Britain but they have taken that off the air.

Evoha16 Thu 13-Aug-20 15:32:54

‘Watch your thoughts - for they become your words - watch your words they will become your actions’

Jane10 Thu 13-Aug-20 15:29:18

Most of us didn't take offence so don't expect or need an apology. I hope you haven't been put off posting.

Urmstongran Thu 13-Aug-20 15:28:41

I’m a bear of very little brain so it made me smile Newatthis! I liked the ‘cold lives matter’. Silly nonsense but why not? However, as I was called ‘idiotic’ on a thread a few days ago so I might not be the best judge!
?

Newatthis Thu 13-Aug-20 15:14:38

Definition 'Apology' :

A regretful acknowledgement of an offence or failure.

For anyone missed my second post or doesn't know what the word 'apology' means.

Lucca Thu 13-Aug-20 14:53:22

Just to say it’s not a question of not wanting to laugh... it just wasn’t funny in my view . Unbelievable that people have made this political ?