The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

I am all dogged up my barrel is ful of poteen (have a couple of out of date boxes of paracetamol if needed) .........it’s behind you ???

Doodle have you tried kissing the frog?

Thanks Doodle just had another Slapped Thigh and will launch the karaoke with a rendition of Hi Ho, Hi Hi off to the Argy we go, with Puss in Boots and beanstalk roots, hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

callistemon you look lovely apart from that somewhat pained expression. ?
AGA I think you’ve been doing too much kneading....If you over knead it doesn’t rise properly......and can be painful . Poor Achilles ?
laura this is the Argy. You don’t get put on the norty step unless your stone cold sober and polite. ?
lemon my glass slippers are killing me. Please send some of your cocktails to this end of the bar. Prince Charming has gone off with one of the ugly sisters and left me with a frog. ?

Apologies, last remark ott, putting myself on the naughty step

Still rubbing the bl**dy lamp. Seems like a nightmare anagram of Widow Twanky, wow tidy.
Can I reserve a ‘he’s behind you’, the liver salts might help, just sampled AGA and Achilles pies.

Thank you, so kind.
He can join me up here if he likes. I'll share the prickles.

I'm Thor, he cried!
You forgot your thaddle, thilly.
Or velvet cushion.

Thor will make you a nest out of velvet cushions if you ask him nicely. Don't think you will get champagne cocktails at the Argy but Lemon will give you a 'slap my thigh' cocktail.

The oak tree would be better, if you could oblige, as the ? is rather uncomfortable with the pine needles sticking into my posterior.

Champagne cocktails might ease the pain.

Callistemon you do look lovely but wont you be uncomfortable perched at the top of a tree? I will keep sending poteen up until you are numb.

I just need a Christmas tree so that I can sit on the top and smile benevolently at you as you enjoy your poteen.
?‍♀️?
It needs to be a very sturdy tree, perhaps an oak might be better.

I mentioned the C word, sorry ?

Achilles has taken over the Argy kitchen. He's baking bread now and is acting like Gordon Ramsey. The air turns blue if you don't knead his dough properly.
GG you have first dibs on the new brew of poteen. I have added milk of magnesia to counteract Achilles' cooking.
Laura stop shoving. There do seem to be a lot of jugs on the bar.
Lisa be warned Achilles may try to tempt you to a nibble of his loaf.

Callistemon you look ..............magnificent and fluorescent.?
laura if we knew you could do judo we’d have employed you as a bouncer years ago. Your outfit sounds fantastic. A word of warning though, Lisa is coming as Goldilocks so will presumably be accompanied by the three bears and all of them like porridge. Watch out they don’t start eating your shoelace moustache. ?
GG we’ll have none of that sort of activity in here. Really.....well not unless I can watch ?
lemon I saw the Captains beanstalk once but it had gone soft with over use ?

I've just tried on my outfit and I look so lovely it takes my breath away.
Or that could be because it's a size 10 and I'm not any more.

Classic Argy footwear Callistemon, GG13 What a good idea, a barrel of poteen around the neck, do you think Aladdin would get away with it? I’ll be wearing my judo suit with —black— yellow belt and the lamp shade from spare bedroom ceiling. I have already glued black shoelace to upper lip, now covered in porridge, Mr Norder may not be pleased when I re-thread his trainers. I’ll bring my jugs too Lisagran, the men do seem to appreciate it when we line our jugs up on the bar.
Loving the latest cocktails Lemon. Waiting patiently —shoving— to get past AGA and Doodle to try a tipple of Slap my Thigh.

I have a long white tulle party frock I can wear, I usually save it for Christmas parties. It's like a crinoline.
It used to cause quite a stir at the works Christmas do, everyone pointing and whispering how lovely I looked.

The white 5" stilettos still fit, usually wear them with pink fluorescent socks.
My hair is shocking pink anyway (I'm not called Callistemon for nothing).

I have my dogging doggy costume ready, have left my empty barrel next to the poteen still to be filled!!

Good idea Call because it just so happens we have a long pink curly wig and fairy wings in the broom cupboard you can borrow (for a small fee)...it was left over from a Fantasy Nite do we had here last year.Bring your own dress and shoes though, the original ones were worn by Doodle and ‘somehow’ the dress bodice was ripped and the shoes (pink satin high heels) went missing when marydoll ran off to Rome with the hunky waiter.They denied all knowledge of it of course.?

My usual tipple is Babycham

Brandy and Babycham, just as potent as poteen but tastes better!?

I'm having trouble squeezing into Happy's outfit, my trousers have divorced my ankles and married my knees.
And my beard keeps falling off into my tea.

I want to be beautiful, can I come as The Fairy Godmother instead?

Yes, definitely! Both of them, they will brighten up the bar.?

Should I bring my jugs, Lemongrove? I know you’ve expressed admiration of my jugs before....

Yes, Goldilocks would suit you.....go for the Grayson Perry look.

Poteen, you say? My usual tipple is Babycham, with a whisky chaser, but nothing ventured......
Hm, Goldilocks? - yes, I like a walk in the woods, with a bare, I mean a bear. I’ll go and have a rummage in my drawers......for something to wear. My uncle used to enter pageants (don’t ask, it’s a family secret), so perhaps he could lend me a dress...

Yes AGA a whisky and Gaviscon cocktail will be a good addition, perhaps a drop of pernod and a whisper of bleach?

Yes, sorry Lisa but I baggsied Puss In Boots, how about being Buttons? Or my owner, Dick ( Whittington)?
Btw, the Captain, who is coming as Jack, really does have a very fine beanstalk! I was doubting him, but then saw it today when he pulled it out ( we were in the ship’s storeroom)?
And my word! It’s magnificent, about 15 feet high and very realistic, the ship’s company made it for an entertainment evening a few years ago.Will it fit in the bar I wonder? Look great in the centre, but hope nobody climbs on it, it’s more fragile than it looks.