The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

I am here with mop, bucket, broom, shovel and a two gallon drum of disinfectant............I may be some time???

Yes, Panto Nite sounds good to me, I shall come as Puss In Boots ( I have the puss and the boots already)?
Maybe Chewbacca could be a panto Dame ( true, she is technically a woman) as long as she shaves, she already has the bazooms.

That saggy old chair is very comfy, had a good night’s sleep in it, thanks for covering me up Doodle although you could have told me I was sitting on the Captain! He was under an old coat too.No harm done though, he’s a bit squashed looking but we kept nice and warm.Only noticed at 7.30 when
I heard groans and the chair started to shake and wobble.
We had toast and and then I threw him out.

Glad you’re back from the ship lemon I hear they’ve set sail now, you might have been taken back to Russia.
AGA I’ve heard it called some things in my time but embrocation ?.
How about pantomime night Friday. Come as your favourite pantomime character. I’m coming as Cinderella and I’ve lined Thor up as Prince Charming. AGA you could be Puss in boots ?

I still haven’t recovered from Russian Nite.....somebody else may have to have an idea for this Friday?
We all look a bit under the weather in the bar, even the llamas are piled up asleep by the fire and not causing trouble, and the Admiral is a pale shadow of his former self .....he even refused the mushroom and whelk curry I offered him at lunchtime.?
I may stay in the bar overnight, I’ll be in the saggy chair in the corner, someone throw an old coat over me before they lock up.

Laura I hope you got the tenner off him before you slapped him in handcuffs.
Lots of dosh made last night from Doodle's pistol training session. She does look very wet. I will dry her off with a handy llama.
Lemon's bloomers are looking more and more padded with all the cash she keeps in there.
The Admiral and the Captain are a bit the worse for wear after they tried to do Cossack dancing last night. I have had to rub them down with embrocation.

Only just woke up! Am texting this from somewhere inside a Russian ship (The Smirnoff) .....oh my poor head!?
Dmitri and Oleg said I could share their bunks last night, after they gave me a tour of the vessel?
I must stagger to the mess ( no, not the Argy) and get something to ease this hangover....the hair of the dog!???
I may be back in The Argy sometime on Sunday.Or not.

Oh dear, puddle on the floor, now I know what that Russian sailor meant when he said 'I'll give you a tenner lady'. I shouldn't have slapped him in handcuffs. At least Doodle was able to handle his pistol for him.

I started off as Tatiana the Tantalising Temptresses. Having been soaked by all those water pistols and wee’d on by the llamas I am now Sonia the Soggy Seductress. ?

I hope that puddle is the work of the llamas and not Laura
I draw the line at staff widdling in corners.

Yes, I think it’s a compliment to the chef Doodle ?
By the way what have you come as....I can’t quite make it out?
Make sure you take a fiver from all the queue waiting to play Russian Roulette with you, no cash no nothing right?

Sean come out from under the table with that gun. It’s only Lemon singing..........no it’s not a high decibel glass breaking laser beam........ stop messing about, who’d you think you are, James Bond!

AGA I’m ready on the firing range. Send all the men along. Forget the llamas, they’re just being silly.?
I’m not sure that puddle is melting icicles........Laura !!! ?
That soup is a winner Lemon they keep coming back for more ......... at least I think that’s what they’re saying. They seem to be bent over at the waist and moaning. Perhaps it a Russian custom.

You look....dangerous AGA your Onatopp is truly amazing.
Try not to damage the paying punters though.
Karaoke time now, here I go with.....From Russsiaaaa with looove I flllly to youuuu .....

It is cabbage soup! What a nose you have AGA
Sorry to be a bit late, but one of my sisters (Limegrove) needed assistance to A&E yet again, she keeps falling over.
Gin has a lot to do with it. She is on first name terms with the hospital staff now.
Rushed here, turned up the gas under the soup ( and the soup will give you gas too, guaranteed)? and changed into my
Costume......whaddya think? Catherine The Great!
Gotta full crowd in tonight, the Russian seamen are lapping it up ( a vat of vodka mixed with poteen) and our own dear
Admiral, Captain and ship’s crew (HMS Stiffbarnacle) are noshing the caviar and dancing ( how much drink have they had?)

Doodle all the men are queuing up to be shown how to hold their pistols. Those llamas are in the queue too.
Laura glad you are warming up but there is a puddle now where the icicles have melted.
I am in my assassin gear as Onatopp. The thigh length boots are a bit tight. May need some help from Sean later.
What is Lemon cooking? Smells like school dinners. May be cabbage soup.

Thor’s thawing thongs are a bit itchy but at least they’re warm thank you AGA I’m thawing out nicely.

When you said have a shot, I thought you meant the vodka.

Laura I don’t think Russian roulette involves betting. I wouldn’t be so keen to play if I were you ?
AGA thank goodness you are bringing water pistols. I had visions of the Argy left with bodies all over the floor ( mind you, wouldn’t be the first time ?)
Granygravy where you bin. Come on over and let me get out of the cleaning rota buy you a drink. ?
AGA I am showing Gloopy how to hold his pistol ?

I will bring some more water pistols for the Russian roulette. Hope nobody brings a real gun. Lemon would not be pleased if Argy customers are shot. She needs them to buy the vodka.
GrannyGravy make sure you get your jabs before coming to the Argy these days. We have had cases of swamp fever after a night out here.
Laura you are beginning to develop icicles. I have knitted you a cardi out of some of Thor's thongs. Have a hot vodka too.
Doodle stop playing Russian roulette with Gloopy. At least I think that is what you are doing with him.

Anyone got a cardy they could lend me? The lllamas won’t let me knit with their smelly fur.

Ooh I love roulette, I’ll have threepence halfpenny on red 19.
Hello GrannyGravy have a vodka while I find out how many defectors are on their way. Sean Connery is being sent to us from Russia with love, hope he’s not pasht it, if not he soon will be when Lemon has had her wicked way with him.

We can play Russian Roulette tomorrow! Who’s up fer it?

No Doodle we already have the caviar ready on ice, bring some other Russian food ( potato cakes/ cabbage soup/ coleslaw/ Russian salad etc) and make some stew? Am sure Russians eat loads of stew ( of some kind.)

I strain soup with them GrannyGravy ( and sometimes gravy or custard.) Bloomin’ useful things, bloomers.