The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

Come off it lemon you know full well that CoCo Chanel bottle was full of toilet water. The Admiral gave it to you after his last sea voyage.

I am flying in with the Eagles singing Witchy Woman. And I've got you under my spell.

Found my teeth now! Thor stored them in the till for me.
Hooray! I can sing properly now.....my turn for karaoke.
‘Heathcliiiiif, it’s me your Cathyyyyyy I’ve come home now.....so cooold let me in through your windowwww ooooh’

Who you gonna call? I ain’t afraid of no ghost!??

Well, I may not have noticed AGA but since you have broadcast the fact, I shall take the £90 off Doodle’s wages
It may take some time before she’s earning anything at all
( since I only pay half a crown a week.)

lemon don’t you mean for a bang? ?
Swooshing in on my ? with my black cat firmly attached to the rear end (I glued it on but don’t worry it’s not real)
Cackle cackle, who’s that gummy old hag in the corner...oops sorry lemon didn’t recognise you without your teeth.
AGA sssh ? don’t tell lemon about the perfume. It’s not my fault. If callistemon hadn’t used them for floor mops I wouldn’t have had to spray them at all.
Talking of Callistemon, where is she? I thought I caught sight of her flying over Peckham on my way here. She seemed to have a passenger on her broom, I wonder who it could be ?
Time for some karaoke. I’m up first with my rendition of Ghostbusters ? ?

We will need to keep the llamas away from the Witches Brew.

Doodle the llama boys smell wonderful. I found Lemon's bottle of Coco Chanel, that you sprayed them with, empty under a pile of potato peelings. Hopefully she won't notice as it cost £90.

I couldn't find a costume so will come in my usual clothes. I have washed my long black dress and given the pointy hat a brush.

AGAA4

Witches brew - vodka, raspberry juice and a pinch of gunpowder.
Ghouls delight - brandy, mint leaves and Andrews liver salts.
In the spirit - rum, whisky, gin, syrup of figs.

Just to remind you all of the cocktail menu.?
Am presently slurping a Witches Brew......I may go off with a bang ( especially if the Admiral is around).

Thor and Gloopy have sone a sterling job on the decorations,
Lit pumpkins, spider webs ( they may have been there anyway) black candles stuck in bottles, looking very spooky!
I am wearing my vampire Goth costume already ( I look gorgeous) but seem to have mislaid my teeth....not the vampire ones, my own!

Ooops!?Well, whatever they were they were delicious.
You will have to use slices of pumpkin now in your bra.

They weren’t pumpkin pies lemon they were my bra booster pads. I left them on the worktop while I was cleaning the tables ?

These pumpkin pies aren’t half bad AGA I was feeling peckish so have demolished two already....burp!

Are you coming as a zombie Doodle? I only ask because I saw you slowly lumbering around earlier wiping down tables, and the word zombie came to mind....all you have to do is tear your dress a bit and dirty your face, in fact how you already look most days.?

Ah silly me, it’s Halloween. Must get the broomstick out and dust it off. ? ? ?

You forgot Humphrey AGA .
My poor boys. You’ve made them all grubby Callistemon.
Never mind boys, mummy’s here and she’s going to give you a nice bath with some of lemon’s expensive shampoo. You’ll be looking your best for theme night.
I can’t remember what we’re doing this Friday. Has someone organised the costumes.?

Doodle is very fond of her boys Gnasher, Grasper and Llama-clock and won't take kindly to them being used as mops.

Yes, I am, Doodle!
I promise to hose them down afterwards.

Doodle is very experienced. She has worked at the Argy for 95 years and me a mere 89. None of us look older than 23 due to the preservative in the poteen.
Lemon I will stop complaining now. Half a crown is a fair wage basing it on what I earned when I started here - 6d.

It comes with experience AGA ?

Honestly! All the complaining that goes on in here.I may not pay top dollar but there is all the food you can eat ( or want to eat) and I know for a fact that none of you ever pay for drinks.
A bit of scrubbing and hostess work is the least you can do to earn your half crown a week.
Step lively now!

Gosh 2/6! That's a bit steep Doodle

callistemon you are not using my Llamas as floor mops again are you ?

Speak for yourself AGA I charge 2s 6d. for my services. ?

Jane10 count yourself lucky!!

Any newcomers are usually greeted with a mop and bucket and told to get scrubbing!
I was relieved to see you as it's often my turn, but I see you had a lucky escape.

I do have a crafty trick up my sleeve, though, involving the llamas.

Well I can't say I was impressed by your establishment and staff. When I arrived I received a very off hand greeting from a rather grubby person who seemed to want to scrub me down with an old brush and what smelt to me like rubbing alcohol but it was apparently sanitiser.
I found my own way to the confessional booths and tried to carry out the interview but it seemed that it wasn't Mr Mackay through the grill. As far as I could make out it was a rather rough sounding seafaring gentleman who offered me a number of personal services some of which were unknown to me. Tempted as I was to offer him the job on the spot I hesitated and he seemed to pass out or something. Certainly there was a sudden unpleasant smell. I took my leave then found Bartlett apparently interviewing the real Mr Mackay in the Bentley. I don't think I'll be back at your establishment but thank you for the 'wee cairry oot' pressed on me by your barmaid as I left.